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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English

will be the official language of the European Union rather than


which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her

Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for

improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become

known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft


Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"


be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and


kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in


sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This


make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted


reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al

wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is

disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv


steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz


ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz

fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If


mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!

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  • 7 months later...

vonderful idia. i begin tinking of jon orvel's 1984t. :)

ve shud not stop at tis point! :no: ter is no need of ze "x" and "y" leters -- zey ar obviusli eksesiv.

Also ve must get rid of ridikulus maner of speling one sound bai means of tu leters.

And vais versa - tu sound in uan leter. Solving problem of pronaunsing "s" laik "z" and "e" laik "i" iz tu bi ze nekst step.

For ze konviniens of slavik nations vich ar surli to join ze EU, vi propos tu juz

"n"-letter insted of "p"

"h" ihsted of "n",

"p" ihsted of "r",

ahd ze last bpilaht idea iz to juz "w" fop kombihatioh "sh".

Vi sihsepeli viw gud lak to ze Uroniah Komisioh. Vi op zat bai zei efopts snelihg vil bikam piali ihtephatsiohal.

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