charlatans

[Guest arabaliozian]

CHARLATANS ITo say that I will agree with myself ten or twenty years hence is to declare oneself to be a case of arrested development.CHARLATANS IITo say or imply that what I speak today is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is not to understand life, man, and oneself.CHARLATANS IIITheir ambition is not to be decent human beings but to be as infallible as the Pope, as magnificent as Suleiman, and as mighty as Stalin.CHARLATANS IVThey never admit to being one. Charlatanism and confession are incompatible concepts. Murderers may confess; charlatans, never!CHARLATANS VArmenian saying: "If there were wisdom in beards, goats would be prophets." CHARLATANS VIArmenian saying: "Priests have seven stomachs." CHARLATANS VIIBishops have forty-nine pockets.COMPANY*****************All kinds of Armenians come to see me and more often than not they don't find it necessary to announce their arrival. Even when inconvenient I welcome them with a friendly smile. I at no time consider doing what Saroyan is said to have done in Paris when he heard a knock on his door and wanted to know who it was. When informed he was a fellow Armenian from California, Saroyan is quoted as having said: "This is a private residence. Why don't you get the #### out!" When I first heard this story I was shocked. But the more I deal with Armenians the more I sympathize with Saroyan. There is some truth in the saying that you should never judge or condemn a man until you walk twenty-six miles or years in his moccasins. Saroyan could have said, "Sorry, I am indisposed," or "Sorry, I am not alone, you understand…" But he refused to lie. He refused to stand on ceremony. He did not consider his fellow Armenian worth considering. Or perhaps he was fed up inventing lies in order not to hurt the sensibilities of rude intruders.HE WHO BRAGS LIESHe who says I am wealthy is not. He who says I am smart is a #### fool. The same applies to the Armenian who says or implies I am a good Armenian, I love my country, and I am proud to be an Armenian, all of which authorize me to look down at all those Armenians who don't measure up to my standards. Such an Armenian is no better than a Turkish gypsy.ON THE ORIGIN OF OUR CONFLICTSWe are a traumatized people with a score to settle: a score against the Turks and against the world. But since both are beyond our reach, we take it out on the nearest available target: the more vulnerable the target the better.Whenever I am misunderstood and insulted, I know I am dealing not with an ideological adversary whose interests or values clash with mine, but with a damaged self, an injured ego, and a bleeding wound whose origins are buried deep in our past.FRIENDS / ENEMIES****************************"Armenian friends" and "Armenian enemies": the only context in which the words friends and enemies might as well be synonymous.*We are taught to love our fellow Armenians and we end up avoiding them. Montesquieu is absolutely right: what we are taught by our schoolteachers and what life teaches us are very often in direct contradiction. Life doesn't lie, men (including teachers) do.*Avoiding Armenians: not an easy task. They sprout from the most unlikely places. There is an old saying: "Be careful when you cut a watermelon open, lest an Armenian comes jumping out." *The distance between "I have an Armenian friend," and "I have a mortal enemy" might as well be invisible to the naked eye.*Why is it that the most unpleasant Armenians are the ones who brag about Armenians?*I am reminded of Hegel’s famous last words: "No one understood me except one, and even he didn't understand me." And Nietzsche: "Friends, there are no friends."*To be a good Armenian one must first qualify as a decent human being. Why is it that this fundamental truth is ignored by our self-assessed superpatriots?