arabaliozian
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Posts posted by arabaliozian
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Sunday, January 26, 2014
**************************************
THE BLAME GAME…
AMONG OTHER THINGS.
*****************************************
If you master the rules of the blame-game
you can easily represent yourself as a statesman of vision
and the opposition as a cesspool
of corruption, incompetence and stupidity.
*
When in doubt
I always do that which is against my own interests.
*
Whatever I have done,
I have done out of necessity and under duress.
The choice was thrust on me
the way subservience is thrust on the 99%.
*
Bishops, imams, rabbis:
they share a common wish to be trusted and respected,
but they neither trust nor respect one another.
*
If a single man can be wrong,
so can two or two thousand or two million,
especially when they speak of
the Incomprehensible and the Unknowable.
*
The Scriptures tell us to turn the other cheek
not to drop our pants...
*
We are midgets perched on the shoulders
of lesser midgets.
*
We are told there are two kinds of statistics,
lies and damn lies.
What about belief systems?
#
ALPHA MALES
****************************
Bosses, bishops, benefactors:
alpha males whose #1 concern is #1.
The rest is propaganda.
*
PATRIOTISM
*****************************
There are Armenians – and I know some of them myself –
who view intolerance, ignorance, and stupidity
as authentic expressions of their patriotism
and moral superiority.
*
DIALOGUE
*******************
In dialogue there are no losers
because both sides learn from each other.
Which may explain why dialogue
happens to be quintessentially un-Armenian.
*
WRITING
*********************
I write.
It’s an inexpensive hobby – the cheapest I know.
It costs me nothing.
#
ON WHAT WE KNOW
*************************************
Nobody knows everything about anything.
Some of the worst blunders in the history of mankind
were committed by very smart men
(self-assessed, of course) who thought
they knew all there is to know about the enemy.
*
We know now that even Wall Street
doesn’t know everything about Wall Street.
*
The 99% hate the 1% -- their secret role models.
*
The 1% are at their best
when it comes to deceiving and exploiting the 99%.
*
We like to pretend we know more about ourselves
than anyone else until we are cornered, assaulted and defeated
by our own irrational impulses.
*
Once upon a time we were ruled by kings.
We are now ruled by moneyed morons
with the charisma of apes.
*
There are always two schools of thought
and we tend to favor the school
that is more favorable to our vanity.
*
We say “shit happens”
even when we micro-managed the catastrophe.
#
AS I SEE IT
******************************
Leaders: Blind men who pretend to have 20/20 vision.
*
There are two kinds of failures:
(a) those who make less than minimum wage
(Armenian writers come readily to mind) and
(b) those who make a million a day (guess who).
*
In the eyes of the 99% the 1% might as well be Turks.
*
Speaking of Turks:
We know what they did to us.
My question is: What did we do to them?
If something, what?
If nothing, why not?
*
You tell me I simplify complexities?
Am I then the only one?
*
More on the 1%:
Two reasons they are free men:
(a) They can afford a dream team, and
(b) they know the judge.
*
A headline in my morning paper:
“Neanderthal genes found in modern humans.”
So what else is new?
#
PHILOSOPHICAL INVESTIGATIONS
***********************************************
Justice is on the side of the more competent lawyers
in the same way that victory is one the side of bigger battalions.
*
Turks don’t need a dream team.
They have Yanks on their side.
*
My philosophy of writing?
To be readable.
*
I don’t write to make you feel good.
What I do is hold up a mirror
and make you wish you were dead.
*
Some problems don’t get solved
because we don’t have a clear awareness of their existence.
*
There are truths which we take for granted
until we consider their contradiction.
*
The 1% are dead men who will do anything
to keep their money beginning with staying alive.
*
Progress is possible in all branches of human endeavor
except religion.
*
A single pope can brainwash millions of Catholics
but not a single imam.
#
A WORTHY AMBITION
********************************
The secret ambition of every Muslim terrorist
is to defeat America and to acquire a harem
of Hollywood starlets.
*
THE TYRANNY OF RELATIVITY
***************************************
Virtues like self-reliance, initiative, originality and perseverance
in the wrong hands become dangerous vices.
*
85% VERSUS 86%
******************************
We are told 85% of TV commercials are misleading
and the law can’t put a stop to that
because law-makers (i.e. politicians)
mislead the people 86% of the time.
*
WHAT THEY SHARE
*****************************
Defeats are planned as carefully as victories.
#
-
Sunday, January 12, 2014
***************************************
THOMAS MANN SPEAKS
**************************************
Where there is too much talk of love, there will be very little love.
Who will dare to disagree with Thomas Mann (who probably wrote more about music than any other major modern writer) when he said:
“The past half century has witnessed a regression of humanity, a chilling atrophy of culture, a frightening decrease in civility, decency, sense of justice, loyalty, and faith, and of the most elementary trustworthiness.”
#
ON MARRIAGE
**********************
Even if you marry the most beautiful woman in the world,
sooner or later she will stink of garlic.
Richard Burton on Elizabeth Taylor in his recently published diary:
“She stinks of garlic – who has garlic for breakfast?”
He probably stank of booze morning, noon, and night.
#
AS I SEE IT
***********************
There is no such thing as a lovable nation.
For every American who loves Armenians
there will be at least two or more who love Turks.
*
I was the most disappointed man on earth
when I met my first Turk.
He was short, skinny, and timid.
No fez. No yataghan. No shalvars. No bloodshot eyes.
*
When a face in the crowd smiles and says hello,
the chances are it’s to the fellow behind you.
*
Books changed my worldview
but music changed my life.
I became a church organist.
*
Where the art of advertisement is developed,
the brain will be underdeveloped.
*
There is an Armenian Christian heresy that believes
the world was created not by God but the Devil.
The evidence is overwhelming.
*
A generation of dupes will be followed by another.
#
FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS
**********************************
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”
“I could have been a contender.”
Can you identify the following two? “Gee, I wish we had one of those doomsday machines!” and “The cat is in the bag and the bag is in the river.”
#
ON COWARDICE
*****************************
If you speak in the name of patriotism, do so only in time of peace.
Attack only individuals who are in no position to defend themselves.
Attack anonymously and from a safe distance.
*
ON BEING AN ARMENIAN WRITER
***************************************
As a failure you will be despised. As a success you will be hated unto death.
*
TWINS
******************
To be corrupt and incompetent are Siamese.
*
MEN AND WOMEN
****************************
On their own they can be good; it’s when they get together that the excrement hits the ventilator.
*
YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR?
**************************************
Recycle a fashionable propaganda line – like Bolshevik shit under Stalin and Nazi crap under Hitler…
*
POLITICS
*********************
To be in politics means to expose the double-talk of the opposition and to cover your own triple-talk.
#
CONSPIRACY
****************************
Ever since I was born as an Armenian,
there has been a carefully orchestrated conspiracy
to convince me that being an Armenian
is a rare privilege and I should consider myself
the luckiest of men.
The question that I cannot answer to this day is:
Are members of this conspiracy
our saviors or our grave-diggers?
*
If “a man is another man’s wolf,”
is not an Armenian another Armenian’s Turk?”
#
-
POLITICS**********************
There are two kinds of politics:
garden variety and mafia.
You may now guess our kind.
*
AS A RULE
********************
Great countries produce great writers;
small countries ghazetajis.
*
WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?
**************************************
Between honest men who deal in facts
and idiots who flatter egos,
guess who will prevail.
*
FAILURE & SUCCESS
******************************
You think success is better than failure?
I think, not always.
I have been a failure for such a long time
that success would be the kiss of death for me.
*
TRIBES & EMPIRES
****************************
To those who ascribe our defeats, disasters, and misfortunes
to our location, location, location, I say,
all empires begin as obscure tribes in the middle of nowhere.
*
Cavafy is right: the way to Ithaca is not a one-way street.
*
OBAMA
**********************
One of the very best things that happened to America
in my own lifetime is Obama.
You don’t agree?
Make a short list of his adversaries:
Trump, Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, and a wealth Mormon.
#
SPEAKING OF WRITERS
********************************
Is a writer’s function to enlighten or to entertain?
Neither? Both?
In my view the first and most important function of a writer
is to be readable.
#
ON WEALTH
******************************
Someone like Obama could never be as wealthy as someone like Romney because, according to Plato, an honest man will employ only honest means and a dishonest man will employ honest as well as dishonest means to amass his fortune. I am not saying Plato speaks the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. All I am doing is paraphrasing an opinion and an opinion is not a dead end but only a tentative beginning.
*
ON MORMONISM
*******************************
Shaw says somewhere all professions are conspiracies against the laity. Likewise, all religions may be said to be conspiracies against all other religions. The same applies to ideologies and closed systems of thought.
*
MORE ON OBAMA
****************************
He made many mistakes? Maybe. But had he done the opposite of what he did, he would have been impeached. Who wants a pope in the White House?
#
ON WEALTH
******************************
Someone like Obama could never be as wealthy
as someone like Romney because, according to Plato,
an honest man will employ only honest means
and a dishonest man will employ honest
as well as dishonest means to amass his fortune.
I am not saying Plato speaks the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but.
All I am doing is paraphrasing an opinion
and an opinion is not a dead end
but only a tentative beginning.
*
ON MORMONISM
*******************************
Shaw says somewhere
all professions are conspiracies against the laity.
Likewise, all religions may be said to be
conspiracies against all other religions.
The same applies to ideologies
and closed systems of thought.
*
MORE ON OBAMA
****************************
He made many mistakes?
Maybe. But had he done the opposite of what he did,
he would have been impeached.
Who wants a pope in the White House?
#
FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
****************************************
If you speak the truth you will be contradicted not only by liars but also by dupes and idiots.
*
I don’t understand everything. Only god does; and if god wanted me to understand everything he would have created not men but gods.
*
For every truth there is a lie and sometimes a thousand of them.
*
A man who is his own worst enemy cannot be anyone’s friend.
*
The closer I get to the final answer the more certain I feel of my final failure.
*
Two mosquitoes may achieve more than one; a thousand of them may inflict serious damage.
#
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
**************************************
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!
****************************
...to one and all!
*
ON LEADERSHIP
**************************
Political leaders hate to admit error. Hence the existence of hirelings – meant to say, nationalist historians – and the importance of patriotism which is easily confused with loyalty to the leadership even when the leaders happen to be swine.
*
ON COMFORT & JOY
******************************
When told I am a comfort to our enemies, I say, we are a greater comfort when we divide ourselves.
*
ON HUMAN NATURE
**************************
No matter what you say, you will get on someone’s nerves. Consider what happened to Socrates and Jesus. You say that was then and this is now? I say: technology may change but human nature stays the same. There are as many violations of human rights today as there were in the 5th century BC and 1st century AD.
#
INTOLERANCE
************************
Intolerance makes men stupid. You can guess a man’s IQ fairly accurately by the manner in which he welcomes new ideas.
*
At least once every day we should remind ourselves of the vastness of the universe and our own insignificance in it.
*
Inaction can create as many problems as wrong action.
*
Some of the greatest men in the history of mankind were persecuted, even executed, for daring to challenge the authority of the 1%. What does that tell you about the IQ of mankind?
#
ON POPULAR MUSIC
************************************
Popular music is incapable of achieving greatness.
*
There is something fundamentally wrong in a culture whose musical standards are set by teenagers and the CEOs of the recording industry.
*
I am reminded of the king who, after visiting America, said he was impressed by the manner in which parents obeyed their children.
*
One of the things that I love about America is the readiness with which they acknowledge their “ugly” specimens. There is even a best-selling book titled THE UGLY AMERICAN and a movie based on it with Marlon Brando in the title role.
#
NOTES & COMMENTS
************************************
As a child I don’t remember an adult saying “I don’t know.” What they said was “You’ll find out when you grow up.”
*
I don’t write for readers; I write against them beginning with myself.
*
As a failure I am free; as a success I may be a slave to my success. Isn’t that what happened to Arlen and Saroyan?
*
When we divide ourselves the message we send to our enemies is: “No need to kill us; we are committing suicide.”
*
Armenians may be said to have a Turkish problem. I am that rarest of all Armenians: an Armenian with Armenian problems.
*
In a disagreement, you cannot defeat your adversary by insulting him; you can only expose your own limitations and inability to entertain new ideas.
#
ON WRITING
****************************
The best opening line is the one you delete, according to Chekhov who probably wrote more opening lines than any other writer.
*
I remember to have read somewhere, as soon as you write a brilliant line, delete it. As far as I know, Simenon, one of the most successful and prolific writers of all time, never wrote a single brilliant line in his life.
*
Q
**********
Who benefits from wars, volcanoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis? Surely, not God. Who then? Is Mother Nature in cahoots with the Devil? What else?
*
ON PROFIT
*****************
If you are in the business of making money, your greatest assets are the ignorance and stupidity of the masses. Something similar could be said of politics.
*
PARTY DISCIPLINE
***************************
It has happened to the best of my childhood friends. On their own they were more like wolves; but after joining a political party, they turned into sheep. Were they emasculated by party discipline?
#
-
BAH-HUMBUG
*********************************
Where would the 1% be
without the full cooperation, dedication, and hard work
of the 99%?
*
To be a good Armenian it is not necessary
to be a bad human being with a closed mind.
*
Crooks have their uses:
they make us appreciate the importance of honesty.
*
Being smart also means not repeating idiotlc blunders
like dividing the community
and abusing children by brainwashing them
to brag about our genius for survival.
#
MEMO TO A WRITER
*******************************
If you say the opposite
of what your average reader wants to hear
you can’t go wrong.
*
ON POPULARITY
***********************
Popularity is an American aberration
and best-sellers the surest symptoms of mediocrity.
*
A CRITIC SPEAKS
***************************
“You have been writing for thirty years now
and you have changed nothing,”
a reader writes implying
either shut up or change your tune.
Change begins in the heart
and what happens there doesn’t make headlines,
neither does it penetrate the hick skulls
of those in a position to change things,
especially if the status quo has been good to them.
*
WHY ENGLISH?
*******************************
I write in English because 99% of what I write
would be considered unprintable by our 1%.
#
My greatest liability:
I never mastered the art
of flattering the powerful and the rich --
i.e. the scum of the earth.
#
Was Santa good to you?
*
Both capitalism and communism
have been good to their 1%.
What does that tell you
about ideologies and belief systems?
*
My own answer:
They introduce meaningless divisions
even when they know the result may be
the slaughter of countless innocent victims;
even when they have been warned
“a house divided against itself cannot stand.”
#
TO MY CRITICS
******************************
Gentle reader:
Unlike you, I don’t pretend to speak the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Think of me only as the voice of another school of thought.
*
Knowledge and understanding are not your enemies.
There is no need for you to defend yourself against them.
*
To think that you can speak the truth
and be popular is an American fallacy.
*
So many first-class literary works
have been rejected by publishers
or ignored by the public that
one is tempted to define writing
as composing music for the deaf.
#
A HISTORY OF DECEPTION
***********************************
Turks have been successful in convincing the Yanks
(a) we are their Red Indians, and
(b) whenever we don’t get our way
we engage in acts of terrorists;
which is what happened in the Ottoman Empire
at the turn of the last century and more recently
all over the world including America.
*
DUPES
****************
We are born dupes.
First we believe in the friendly disposition
of the Young Turks and now
we believe our own leaders
when they tell us with our financial support
they will have the Genocide recognized by the Yanks.
*
DUPES (II)
******************
Where would tyrants be
without cowardly dupes?
*
Q
*******************
“Melonsmellonous osculations.”
Can you guess what’s being said
and the identity of the author?
#
LESSONS
*****************
If history teaches us anything it is this:
we can be wrong;
we can be wrong even when we are right;
we can be dead wrong even when
God and the Great Powers are on our side.
*
The #1 concern of our 1% is not to solve our problems
but to defend and protect their powers and privileges,
which means Plan B only for themselves.
*
My ideal reader is one who hates to read;
which means he has been at the mercy
of speechifiers and sermonizers and is thus
virgin territory easily impregnated with new ideas.
*
When I was young, unemployed and unemployable,
two senior members of the Party came to see me.
Someone had told them I love books and reading.
“We are willing to subsidize your university education,”
they said, “provided you agree to work for us.”
Meaning: We have no use for your garbage;
we have our own.
Which may explain my present status
as an abominable no man.
Mart bidi ch’ellank!
#
-
IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE
*************************************
Some of my critics take pleasure in the knowledge
that I am a failure and a loser.
To them I say, that may well be why
I understand the nation.
*
FANS
***************
It is true that our leaders have their share of admirers.
But then so did Nero, Genghis Khan, Hitler, Stalin,
Nixon, and Reagan.
*
LAWYERS AND POLITICIANS
****************************************
Can you finish the following sentence?
“If the world is in deep shit today it’s because…”
*
Q
*********
Is it possible that I am the only one
who thinks the world would have been a better place
without Elvis and the Beatles?
*
Q/A
************
What will happen next?
That which you least expect it.
#
RAFFI'S WARNING AND
CHARENTS'S MESSAGE
*************************
To prove to a visiting Venetian painter
what the neck of a beheaded man really looks like,
Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent,
also known as the Lawgiver,
had a prisoner brought before him
and beheaded.
It is said that the Venetian painter
(one of the Bellini brothers)
was so shocked by the bloody spectacle
that he left that same night under cover of darkness.
That is the difference between that Venetian painter and us.
The Venetian left.
We stayed
We stayed even after Raffi warned us
the Ottoman Empire was no place for us
because Turks had no respect for human life.
We ignored Raffi's warning in the 19th century
as we ignore today Charents's final message
concerning our “salvation.”
By “we” I mean less the people
and more the leaders who speechify during the day
about survival and turn into gravediggers
under cover of darkness at night.
#
We are few.
We are weak.
We are vulnerable.
Therefore, we are divided.
Which is like saying:
“I think.
Therefore I am not.”
#
DISAPPOINTMENTS
************************************
What is life if not
an endless series of disappointments?
A monster of human frailties,
my ambition was to achieve perfection.
I wanted to be the wealthiest man on earth
but never made more than minimum wage
with many intervals of unemployment.
As a writer I have failed again and again
to convince my readers that
the smartest man in business
may be an idiot in politics;
in the same way that
the loveliest woman in the world
worshipped from a distance
may be no better than a living corpse –
all because man is not yet equipped
to tell the difference between love and lust.
You want to know more about the human condition?
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror.
#
ON UNDERSTANDING
**********************************
You want to develop your understanding?
Teach yourself to view things through alien eyes
including your worst enemy.
*
Don’t speak of your problems to a friend
unless of course you want to make him happy.
I remember once, many years ago,
when I mentioned a problem to a co-worker
– a cute little blonde – she cut me off
with the words: “I’ve got problems of my own.”
*
Wisdom can be found in the most unlikely places.
*
When I speak of a nation
I mean of course its leaders and their dupes.
The average law-abiding citizen
may not be as smart as his political leaders,
but he will be more honest.
*
Socrates is right: one can guess
how honest a man by his income.
#
Reply, Reply All or Forward | More
Wine
-
THE DEFENSE
************************
The Turkish line of defense is simplicity itself:
“We did to the Armenians what you did to your Indians.”
*
The only people who refuse to acknowledge
the finality of this statement are our fund-raisers and
Hai Tahd (Armenian Case) tax collectors.
*
If the Greeks in their Golden Age ...
found Socrates guilty of a capital offense
and executed him,
how dare we hope we can get justice
from a jury of convicted liars and cut-throats?
#
ON STATESMANSHIP
****************************************
You say he was a great statesman?
Tell me, how many of our problems did he solve?
A statesman is first and foremost a man of action:
he formulates and implements policies
which he can do only after developing a consensus.
*
You say Armenians are ungovernable?
In that case a statesman’s function is
to make the ungovernable governable.
If he cannot do what must be done,
he is a failure or, at best, a man not of action
but of contemplation.
He is more like Naregatsi
and less like Gandhi, Churchill, and Mandela.
*
“He was a man of vision, a great patriot,
sincere in his commitments to ideals?”
So were Hitler, Mussolini, and Mustapha Kemal Ataturk.
#
A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING
*******************************************
When asked to name his favorite role model,
one of our intellectuals
(let’s call him Comrade Panchoonie)
named one of our benefactors
(let’s call him Jack S. Avanakian)
and was amply rewarded.
*
SHAHAN SHAHNOUR SPEAKS
****************************************
"A French whore is a whore.
A German whore is a whore.
A Greek whore is a whore.
But a whore who writes is an intellectual."
*
QUESTION
***********************
To the anonymous critic
who reads and curses everything I write:
“Are you the one I once called an inbred moron?”
*
JUST A GUESS
**************************
I wouldn’t be surprised if they said:
“Let’s do to our Armenians
what the Americans did to their Indians.”
But I would be surprised
if one of our revolutionaries said:
“What if they do to us
what the Americans did to their Indians?”
#
-
HOW TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS
**************************************
Tribal divisions are not a verdict without appeal.
All we need is a Mandela.
If Africans can do it, why can’t we?
To those who say,”
Why don’t you apply for the job?”
I say: I am a failure as a writer.
I would be a disaster as a political leader.
My job consists in telling it like it is.
Mandela?
Hell, we couldn’t even come up with an Ataturk.
#
IN PRAISE OF OLD AGE
***********************************
I have been young
and I have been old
and old is better.
*
If you are young and you assume to be right,
you will be closer to the truth
if you assume to be not just wrong
but dead wrong; so wrong, in fact,
that you may have to spend the rest of your life
suffering the consequences of your blunder.
*
One advantage of old age is that
you exercise more freedom
in your choice of misery.
*
I write for dupes and idiots like myself
when young.
#
EXPLANATIONS
***********************************
If you have trouble understanding why
successive American administrations
have refused to recognize the reality of the Genocide
here are some easily accessible explanations:
Even when dead wrong, might is right.
(Please note, I don’t make rules;
I only state them as I see them.)
Empires speaks a language
tribal people don’t understand.
Taking care of #1 is their #1 concern.
Regimes don’t have principles, only interests.
If you refuse to see the light
it may be because you prefer to live in darkness
(isn’t that what we did for 600 years?)
Ignorance is a heavy burden.
Lincoln was wrong.
You can fool all the people all the time.
Consider the long history of organized religions
According to Toynbee
(who quotes the Bible on almost every page he writes)
our demands were unreasonable.
It follows; the Turks did what they did
because they had no other choice.
To those who dismiss my short list
of explanations as bullshit,
allow me to quote another familiar proverb:
“Life is a shit sandwich.
The more bread you have
the less shit you eat.”
#
NOISE
****************************
The Chinese pictograph for noise
is three women under the same roof –
or so I remember to have read somewhere.
The same word in an imaginary Armenian pictograph:
two men.
*
Homo sapiens? Hell, no!
Homo capable of being sapiens? Maybe.
*
Compared to nothingness
(before we were born and after we die)
being is an ephemeral dot so tiny
that it might as well be invisible to the naked eye.
One is almost tempted to say
the reason we exist is to experience
our own insignificance or nothingness.
*
When two selfish individuals meet,
they learn the importance of altruism.
#
-
DECEPTION (I)
***************************
Everything that needs to be said has been said. The role of our propaganda today is to deceive us into thinking everything that needs to be done is being done when in fact nothing is being done.
*
DECEPTION (II)
In our official version of the story the Genocide was inevitable. Which raises the question: if our leaders cannot foresee the inevitable, what are they good for besides raising funds?
*
OVERHEARD
***********************
“Make friends when you don’t need them.”
*
“You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.”
#
TWO OBSERVATIONS
********************************
If a closed mind makes you happy, by all means, follow your bliss. Only be warned. A fool’s happiness is a house without foundations.
*
In the eyes of some I am a self-hating Armenian because I refuse to rely on the support of men who could be useful to me – bosses, bishops, benefactors, their hirelings, hangers on and dupes. They fail to see the obvious: if I am against these gentlemen it is out of self-respect, and I suggest self-respect and self-hatred are mutually exclusive concepts.
#
ON THE ORIGINS
OF PATRIOTISM
*********************************
If I had a choice between visiting Venice or Paris and the ugly little Greek slum where I was born and raised, I would choose the slum but I can’t because it’s no longer there – it was reduced to rubble by the Germans during World War II.
*
My doubts outnumber my certainties a thousand to one. I am one of those who feel guilty even when they say the right thing and do what must be done.
*
Judge an underdog by what he would do if he were a top dog.
#
-
ON POPULARITY
******************************
Popularity is overrated.
Neither Socrates nor Jesus was popular.
Bach was neglected for a hundred years.
Kafka was known only to a handful
of close friends.
Hegel’s last famous words:
“No one understood me except one,
and even he didn’t understand me.”
My guess is Elvis and the Beatles
made more money in a year than
Mozart, Beethoven, and Brahms combined
throughout their lifetime.
*
Have I said this before?
No matter.
Some things are worth repeating.
#
HOW TO BE OBJETIVE
***********************************
The only way to be objective
is to see oneself through alien eyes.
The alternative is to view Catholics
through the eyes of the Pope,
the Soviets through the eyes of Stalin,
and the Chinese through the eye of Mao
on the grounds that these gentlemen know better.
*
One of the most important rules in dialogue:
neither side is allowed to say “Yes, sir!”
*
Ideas like “All men are created equal,”
should be judged by their history
and not by their intentions.
*
Archie Bunker is dead,
long live the Tea Party!
#
ON LAWYERS
& RELATED ATROCITIES
************************************
Where lawyers prosper, justice suffers.
The function of a jury, it has been said,
is to decide which side had the more competent
legal representation.
*
Where advertisers prosper,
the line that separates fact from illusion
will be blurred.
*
Where there is great wealth,
there will also be crooks.
Plato’s explanation for this phenomenon:
unlike honest men who will employ only honest means,
crooks will employ honest as well as dishonest means.
*
We live in a land of bankers, investment brokers,
public relations men, advertisers and lawyers.
It follows, we are in deep sh*t.
#
BOOK REVIEW
***********************
130 TALISMANS. By Kardash Onnig.
Foreword by Alexander Boccialini Shundi.
Illustrated. 2013. Published by Baraka
(P.O. Box 145, Stanfordville, NY 12581).
**************************************
Are talismans, also known as “charms,” objects with mystical powers over evil or mumbo jumbo? My reason tells me they belong to the mumbo jumbo department of life, but my subconscious sings a different tune.
After a black cat crosses my path, I feel better if I find a penny on the sidewalk. Accuse me of being superstitious and I will deny it. Figure that one out if you can.
This illustrated booklet of 130 talismans is the latest opus by our Renaissance man of arts and letters, Onnig Kardash. Each talisman costs $400.00. If they weren’t beyond my income bracket I would love to buy a dozen of them (one for each room in the house) and forever after feel less vulnerable.
(For more information write to Transformer @gmail.com).
#
-
RANDOM THOUGHTS
******************************
After moronizing its own people America
is now engaged in moronizing the world.
*
Describe someone objectively
and deep inside somewhere
one of his defensive walls is bound to collapse.
*
Most of my critics are not idiots
but they appear to enjoy acting the part.
*
More often than not
when I try to solve a problem
I succeed only in compounding it.
*
My piano teacher taught me
the only way to learn a piece marked presto
is by playing it lento.
*
One way to be brilliant is
by writing a hundred different versions
of the same line and choosing the best.
#
MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE CONCEPTS
*********************************************
A wolf and a vegetarian diet.
A closed mind and dialogue.
An Armenian and a Turk.
An Armenian and an Armenian.
*
What I write is free –
like cheese in a mousetrap.
*
American saying: “90% of everything is crap.”
Armenian translation: “99%.”
#
NOTES & COMMENTS
***********************************
If the world were a room,
the U.S. would be the elephant in it.
*
If you assume to be right
you are automatically disqualified to engage in dialogue.
*
A liar’s best friend is another liar.
*
A snake’s ideal food is another snake.
*
Thirst for knowledge and thirst for blood
are mutually exclusive concepts.
*
A dupe cannot have an open mind.
*
When the Nazis said “Gott mit uns”
they meant of course the Devil.
*
I repeat myself?
What about our sermonizers, speechifiers,
and Turcocentric fanatics?
*
All corrupt regimes need enemies.
Hatred is a glue and all politicians need scapegoats.
#
Wine
-
REFLECTIONS
**********************************
A single priest may brainwash
as many as a thousand children,
but a thousand bishops cannot convert
a single imam.
All victimizers are experts at least in one field:
in their choice of victims.
*
If you are an adult,
you know something about history,
and you are a nationalist,
you may safely declare yourself
a public nuisance and a retard.
*
If we were to judge a religion by its history,
who would dare to brag about
being a religious person?
*
I have never said none of our
bosses, bishops, and benefactors is an honest man.
What I have said is that
I never had the pleasure of meeting one.
#
MASTERS & SLAVES
********************************
As the offspring of perennial losers,
I tend to divide my fellow men
into masters and slaves,
or top dogs and underdogs.
*
I fear and respect top dogs
and I have as much respect for underdogs
as I have for myself, which is none.
That’s why my respect
for our bosses, bishops, and benefactors
knows no bound.
Sometimes I even go as far as classifying them
as architects of our collective destiny,
when in fact they have as much power
as a sardine in a pool of sharks;
and when speechify and sermonize
in the name of God and Country
what they really mean is
the KGB and the CIA.
*
HOW TO RECOGNIZE
A RIGGED ELECTION
**************************************
If the winner is an enemy agent,
he has the charisma of a robot
and the eyes of a reptile, it’s rigged.
#
JUNKIES
****************************
Notwithstanding the fact that
our writers have been consistently misunderstood,
rejected, starved, even betrayed
and murdered in cold blood,
there are boys and girls today
whose ambition is to be a writer.
There is a reasonable explanation
for this strange phenomenon:
ignorance of history.
*
The official version of our past
has been bowdlerized so drastically that
if reality and our school texts ever met
they wouldn’t recognize each other.
*
We have this in common with Turks:
we are junkies of state propaganda.
There are well-established academics today
(not all of them Turks)
who believe Talaat was a great statesman.
*
Talaat’s arrogance was such that
he dared to parade in the streets of Berlin
as if he were a universally respected royalty in exile.
Until reality caught up with him,
as it caught up with us
in successive waves of massacres
whose message we
(or rather our leadership)
chose to ignore.
*
The problem with compulsive and habitual liars is that
they end up believing in their lies.
#
MEMO TO A CRITIC
**********************************
My aim in life is to understand reality.
Your aim, if I understand it correctly,
is to assert some kind of superiority
motivated by patriotism,
which is also the aim
of all speechifiers, sermonizers,
and propagandists, who at
least get paid for their work,
*
You may have noticed by now
that I have a handful of favorite themes
on which I compose endless variations.
To those who accuse me of repeating myself
I plead guilty as charged.
My aim is not to achieve immortality
or even earn minimum wage,
but to speak of reality as I see it
and not as I am told to see it
by someone who may or may not be
a compulsive liar, a child molester,
or an inbred moron.
*
The trouble with Christianity
as an organized religion is that
99% of Christians were brainwashed as children.
The same applies to all organized religions:
they are organized to lie, deceive
and when necessary to kill and die
in defense of a god who has no need
of their protection.
*
We need to talk!
#
-
********************************
INTERVIEW
****************************************
Q: Raffi writes about bad as well as good Armenians.
You write only about the bad. Why?
A: Raffi was a great writer and a good man.
Obviously I am not qualified to tie his shoes.
Q: If propaganda is bad, why so many engage in it?
A: So many also engage in adultery, drugs,
smoking, war and massacre.
You see, like you, I have more questions than answers.
Q: Is it true that you love Turks and hate Armenians?
A: I hate all liars and dupes regardless of nationality.
Q: Why are you against patriotism?
A: Because the ultimate aim of all patriotism is slaughter.
I therefore say: F*** politicians who motivated by lust for power
invent conflicts and brainwash the brainless.
#
TRYING TO MAKE SENSE
************************************
Leaders are first and foremost moronizing agents.
The world is being systematically moronized today
by Americans as surely as
the Middle East and the Balkans were moronized
by the Ottomans and the Soviet republics
were sodomized by the Russians.
*
What we think of ourselves
is never the same as what others think of us.
In that sense we are not much different from the groupie
who once declared:
“I am not a groupie! I don’t have sex with the boys.
I don’t use my body. I only do blow jobs.”
*
The secret ambition of all victims is to be a victimizer.
This may explain why an Armenian
is another Armenian’s Turk.
*
Where propaganda is over-developed,
literature will be under-developed,
and in our case, non-existent!
#
MEMO TO MY CRITICS
********************************************
Please note that I hate neither myself
nor my fellow countrymen.
What I really hate is the Turk in all of us
and when I speak of Turks
I don’t mean Turks as they are
but as they appear to be in our history
and collective experience.
*
READERS
***********************
I don’t write for readers who know better.
I write for readers who know as much as I did
when I was a dupe.
*
ON A COMMON FALLACY
**************************************
We all share the same illusion:
namely, that people will judge us by our propaganda
and not by our history.
*
ON LITERATURE
*********************************
There is nothing wrong in admiring great writers
provided you remind yourself that
even the great ones, like Tolstoy and Dostoevsky,
had their share of contradictions
which they could not resolve.
*
MORE ON PATRIOTISM
***********************************
A patriotic Armenian,
like a patriotic Turk,
knows very little or almost nothing
about the history of his nation
and most of what he knows is a lie.
*
ON INFALLIBILITY
*******************************
Arrogance and ignorance
are at the root of all infallible assertions.
*
TO BE NOTED
****************************
Compared to non-existence,
existence lasts no more than a fraction of a second.
#
BROTHERS
*****************************
Thomas Mann is right.
Hitler was not an alien creature but “a brother.”
There is a Sultan and a Talaat in all of us.
*
ON FRIENDSHIP
***************************
I have so few friends that if I were to lose one
I would be friendless.
*
SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT
*************************************
I have been hired and fired many times
but I have never hired and fired anyone.
*
ON SPEECHIFIERS
AND SERMONIZERS
**********************************************
There is a natural tendency
in all speechifiers and sermonizers
to underestimate the value
of dialogue, compromise, and consensus.
*
ON FRIENDSHIP (II)
**********************************
Because I write as I do,
my patriotic friends pretend we have never met.
*
ON SURVIVAL
************************
Perhaps to be an Armenian means
to be a survivor with a gaping wound.
*
ON DUPES
******************
One of the hardest things in life
is to convince the average idiot
that he is not a patriot but a dupe.
#
ALL BARK AND NO BITE
*********************************
It could be said of our Turcocentric ghazetajis
that they are all bark and no bite.
Something similar could also be said
of Armenian literature from the Golden Age
to the present. As for our speechifiers and sermonizers:
they at least make a more or less comfortable living.
*
As a child I trusted adults if only because
whenever I asked an inconvenient
or difficulty question I was told
“You’ll find out when you grow up.”
*
In a recent issue of an Armenian academic periodical
I read the reviews of six recently published books,
five of them about the Genocide.
*
What’s being done to arrest or slow down
the present rate of assimilation in the Diaspora
and exodus from the Homeland?
I am grown up and I still don’t have
the answer to that question.
But if you do, please feel free to share it with us.
#
MORE QUESTIONS
THAN ANSWERS
***************************************
Is there a single Armenian
in a position of power today
whom you trust?
Someone you would go to for advice?
Someone you would vote for
if he were running for office?
Someone you don’t suspect of being
a former KGB, CIA or both?
*
Three sure ways of improving
a writer’s reputation of work:
verbal abuse, censorship, starvation.
*
Why are superstition and propaganda
more believable than science and knowledge?
*
Jews have acquired the reputation of a people
that enjoy mutual support.
The same cannot be said of Armenians.
#
FROM ALPHA
TO OMEDGA
********************************
If cathedrals are concrete and towering proofs
of man’s faith in the existence of God,
what are wars and massacres?
*
As for free will;
it may apply to the Napoleons
and Hitlers of the world
but not to the average soldier
who does the killing and dying;
and certainly not to the civilian casualties.
*
The question, the real question, is not
whether God exists or not
but whether He gives a damn!
*
Am I shaped by my past
or by my projects and hopes for the future?
After I answer metaphysical questions
I see more merit in their contradictions.
*
When the weak are led by the ruthless,
the result will be a succession of catastrophes,
that is to say, history as we know it.
#
-
A SKETCH OF MY LIFE*************************************
In my formative years
I was carefully brought up to be a garbage can
Of prejudices, lies, and propaganda.
If I understand my fellow Armenians today
it may be because once upon a time
I was one of them
and I refuse to pretend otherwise.
*
It was very late in life
that I realized deep inside somewhere
I harbored a human being.
*
I wasted most of my life
trying to please individuals
whom I now classify as somewhere between
moral riffraff and the scum of the earth.
*
When I say I loathe dupes
what I really mean is that
I loathe the dupe in me.
The only thing I am willing to brag about
is the fact that in my childhood
I experienced homelessness, destitution,
war, and discrimination in an alien environment.
*
Did I survive?
Who can really tell?
I feel more like that English soldier
on the battlefield who,
when informed by his king that he was wounded,
replied: “Nay, Sire, I am dead.”
#
RECYCLING
**************************
To live in oppression means to believe in things
that you don’t and to trust the judgment of individuals
with the morality of pimps.
As a nation we have lived in oppression
for so many centuries that
we are no longer in a position to tell
the difference between
freedom and oppression.
Hence the saying:
“Once upon a time we were slaves;
we are now slaves of former slaves.”
Progress is our least important product.
*
One of the most useful tools
in criminal investigations is to ask:
“Who benefits?”
Who benefits from our divisions?
*
“A bourgeois is a bourgeois
regardless of nationality,” Lenin said.
So is a divider, a charlatan, and a deceiver.
*
“You repeat yourself.”
So do our dealers in chauvinist crapola.
*
I don’t write to achieve fame, fortune,
and immortality.
I write to share my understanding.
#
WHAT I BELIEVE
***********************************
I believe in the Incomprehensible,
the Unknowable and in the commandment
“Thou shalt not bear false witness.
As for “Thou shalt not kill”:
I believe a system that has legitimized
the burning of heretics and more recently
war and massacre is an invention of the Devil.
The rest is metaphysics, mumbo jumbo,
propaganda, and taxation without representation.
*
My aim in life is not to achieve
fame, fortune, and greatness
but to be less dishonest.
*
As the offspring of perennial losers,
I have a soft spot for all losers
even when they are identified as the enemy.
#
TRASHLAND
**********************
If Gogol and Kafka were to come back to life and collaborate on a book about reality in present-day Armenia, the result would be Denis Donikian’s VIDURES or AGHPASTAN, in Ruzanna Vartanian’s excellent Armenian translation (403 pages, Yerevan, 2013).
Aghpastan, literally Trashland, is a biting satire and a horror story written with withering wit that utilizes many genres and styles reminiscent of James Joyce.
*
During a walk two friends discover the corpse of a woman in a garbage dump, an obvious victim of foul play.
“I know who she is,” one of them says. “I recognize her by her hair and the undamaged side of her face. We should go to the cops.”
The other is outraged.
“The cops! The cops? Can you picture me walking into a police station? Walking in is easy. The trick is coming out. And sometimes you never come out.”
“But it is against the law not to report a murder. If we ignore this murder and another murder next day, what happens if you or I are the next victims? If you and I and everybody else ignores a murder we become a nation of amnesiacs at the mercy of others.”
“Maybe so -- but what happens if we are detained by the police? And when I say detained I don’t mean for an hour or a day but for months. Think of my piglets: what happens to them?”
The conclusion is obvious: “Aghpastan” has become a country that swims in crime, criminals, executioners, and their victims.
*
The book begins and ends with the same two words: “Der Voghormia” (Lord have mercy).
#
Wine
-
WHO IS A GOOD ARMENIAN?
*******************************************
Sartre: “It is the rich man who is virtuous
and wants everyone else to be.
His values are a defense if the status quo.”
*
Everyone is against dividers,
but everyone seems to be for the status quo,
especially if he belongs to the privileged classes –
namely bosses, bishops, benefactors and their assorted hirelings and dupes.
*
Who is a good Armenian?
“An Armenian who has Mt. Ararat in his heart,”
-- whatever the hell that means.
*
I am not a Biblical scholar
but the scholars I have consulted inform me
the Bible does not mention “Mt. Ararat.”
It says “mountains of Urartu,”
of which there are about a thousand
and most of them are not in Armenia.
#
CAREER MOVES
*******************************
For a good number of years
my sole ambition in life
was to be a brown-nosier.
It took me quite a few years
to realize it was a bad choice –
and bad not on moral grounds
but bad because
the competition was too stiff.
*
MEMO
TO MY PATRIOTIC READERS
*********************************************
The difference between you and me
is that you like to brag
and I don’t.
#
OUR LORDS AND MASTERS
**************************************
Some readers,
among them former friends,
disagree with me for an
understandably compelling reason:
they are financially dependent
on the charity of swine.
They may preach freedom
but they are afraid
not only of free speech
but also of fellow Armenians
who engage in it.
*
Our political and religious leaders
are neither God’s nor people’s servants;
they are our Lords and Masters.
Deviate an inch
and you are shish-kebab!
#
-
ON POWER
**************************************
Men in a position of power need flattery
as much as a starving man needs bread.
Their intolerance and hatred of dissent
is rooted in vanity and not
in some kind of ideological opposition.
They don’t give a damn about ideas and ideologies
which they consider a waste of time.
To them intellectuals are no better than children
and ideas their invisible toys or
verbal hallucinations or ghosts
and they don’t believe in ghosts.
Words are good only when they glorify
and flatter their egos.
In their own eyes power is a blessing from God.
It follows, whatever they do
bears God’s seal of approval.
Hence degenerate rulers
and moronic multimillionaires
operating on the assumption
they are the uncrowned kings of the community.
*
History is clear on this point.
Power drives men mad.
Power is not a blessing but a curse.
At the turn of the last century
in the Ottoman Empire the sultan
had a thousand concubines
and as many versifiers,
among them Armenians,
singing his praises.
*
Talaat was more enlightened.
He counted among his friends
several intellectuals
among them our own Zohrab.
But as soon as he acquired power
he had Zohrab assassinated.
Napoleon put it best when he said
“A man with an idea is my enemy.”
#
MORE ON TURCOCENTRISM
*********************************************
Turcocentrism may also be defined
as an ideology that says
we are not the architects of our destiny.
It follows, the only logical explanation
of our misfortunes is: “Shit happens.”
*
Consider earthquakes as a case in point.
What we are not told is that
according to experts
“Earthquakes don’t kill people; buildings do.”
*
Nothing comes more naturally
to a compulsive and habitual liar than
to cover up and to lie.
*
The priority of all businessmen is profit.
The more profit the better.
Likewise, the priority of all politicians
regardless of race, color and creed is power –
the more power the merrier,
even if it means the destruction of the nation.
*
Our dealers in chauvinist crapola
expect us to believe
what applies to all politicians
does not apply to our own
who rule and divide by the grace of God.
#
FOREIGNER
***********************
To me, the ultimate odar (foreigner)
is the Ottomanized and Sovietized Armenian.
*
ON SURVIVAL
********************
We have survived – no one denies that –
but survived as what?
*
PARADOX
*************************
Armenians who classify themselves as the best,
sooner or later expose themselves as the worst.
#
“We are a people like any other people.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
#
ZOHRAB & CHARENTS
**********************************
“We are a people like any other people.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.
Even our greatest intellectuals and poets,
like Zohrab and Charents, were dupes
of enemy propaganda.”
“What would you have done in their place?”
“Probably what they did and having done so
I would deserve universal ridicule and contempt.”
*
SAROYAN
*********************
I will never forget the angry letter
one of our elder statesmen sent me
after reading one of my anti-Soviet tirades:
“Saroyan loves the regime.
You think you are smarter than Saroyan?”
*
GUILTY AS CHARGED
*****************************
You say I simplify complexities?
What does propaganda do?
What is propaganda if not the mother tongue
of self-satisfied idiots and their dupes?
*
GUILTY AS CHARGED II
*************************************
“You repeat yourself.”
“Not as often as our propagandists.”
#
-
FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
**********************************
Loyalty or subservience to authority
is not patriotism but fascism.
*
My guess is, we produce
more speechifiers, sermonizers and pundits
per capita than any other nation on earth.
*
Who speaks today in the name of the people,
and when I say people I mean
not the dead but the living.
*
The most important questions in life
are destined to remain unanswered.
Even belief systems that pretend
to have all the answers
are willing to acknowledge this fact.
There is a well-known story about a theologian
who on informing the Pope that he had written
a 1000-page treatise explaining the mystery
of the Holy Trinity was ordered to “burn it!”
#
LIVE AND LEARN
**********************************
Until very recently I wasn’t aware of the fact
that fund-raising is a profitable enterprise
and that some chief executive officers
of charitable organizations
are paid million-dollar salaries.
*
Wee are more civilized.
Our charitable organizations
don’t have chief executive officers;
even more to the point,
they are accountable only to God,
which in practice, means no one.
*
Question: Do CEOs of charitable organizations
contribute to charitable organizations?
#
SCENARIOS
******************************
On the day Azeris open their borders
we will bleed from three open wounds:
East, West, and North.
*
At the present rate of exodus,
they will not have to fight us
to reoccupy their lands,
they will just walk in.
*
I am a comfort to our enemies?
What about our dividers?
What is their message?
Let me guess:
“No need to kill us,
we plan to commit suicide.”
What else?
#
-
ON CRACKPOTS
***********************************
In a recent issue of TIME magazine
there is an interview with Andre Agassi
in which Armenians and massacres are not mentioned.
*
The best thing Saroyan ever said about the Genocide is that
he felt sorry for the Turks.
*
Now you may understand why I refer to
Genocide ghazetajis, Hai Tahd activists and fund-raisers
as Turcocentric crackpots.
*
There is a baloney artist in all politicians
and ours are no exception.
#
THREE MAXIMS
***************************
Thinking against oneself
is one of the cardinal virtues.
*
Politicians and honesty are
mutually exclusive concepts.
*
To believe when you are right
you have God and Truth on your side
is to be a potential assassin and terrorist.
#
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
********************************************
We all have our share of limitations
with one difference: some of us
are infatuated with them.
Erasmus of Rotterdam was right when he said:
“Everyone loves the smell of his own sh*t.”
*
The need to be understood
always exceeds the need to understand.
*
Where lawyers and politicians enter,
injustice and lies are sure to follow.
*
Never contradict a politician or a lawyer:
remember, they are professionals.
*
To my anti-American friends
from the Middle East I say:
“I agree with you provided you also agree with me
when I say the rest of the world is no better.”
*
Nobody ever said to be an honest man among crooks
comes without a price.
*
I don’t always like or agree with what I say
but once I put down 2+2=
I have no choice but to say 4.
#
READERS
*************************
There is a type of reader
(and I have my share of them)
who is programmed to disagree and reject
anything that is not recycled propaganda.
Such a reader doesn’t even bother or begin
to understand what’s being said.
He just hangs a label on you
and forever after identifies you
as the lowest form of animal life –
namely, an Armenian
who doesn’t love all Armenians
and hate all Turks.
Such a reader is convinced
anyone who has more power or money
must know better.
He is Bolshevik in his pragmatism,
capitalist in his value system,
and Catholic in his dogmatism.
#
Reply, Reply All or Forward | More
Wine
ON CRACKPOTS
***********************************
In a recent issue of TIME magazine
there is an interview with Andre Agassi
in which Armenians and massacres are not mentioned.
*
The best thing Saroyan ever said about the Genocide is that
he felt sorry for the Turks.
*
Now you may understand why I refer to
Genocide ghazetajis, Hai Tahd activists and fund-raisers
as Turcocentric crackpots.
*
There is a baloney artist in all politicians
and ours are no exception.
#
THREE MAXIMS
***************************
Thinking against oneself
is one of the cardinal virtues.
*
Politicians and honesty are
mutually exclusive concepts.
*
To believe when you are right
you have God and Truth on your side
is to be a potential assassin and terrorist.
#
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
********************************************
We all have our share of limitations
with one difference: some of us
are infatuated with them.
Erasmus of Rotterdam was right when he said:
“Everyone loves the smell of his own sh*t.”
*
The need to be understood
always exceeds the need to understand.
*
Where lawyers and politicians enter,
injustice and lies are sure to follow.
*
Never contradict a politician or a lawyer:
remember, they are professionals.
*
To my anti-American friends
from the Middle East I say:
“I agree with you provided you also agree with me
when I say the rest of the world is no better.”
*
Nobody ever said to be an honest man among crooks
comes without a price.
*
I don’t always like or agree with what I say
but once I put down 2+2=
I have no choice but to say 4.
#
READERS
*************************
There is a type of reader
(and I have my share of them)
who is programmed to disagree and reject
anything that is not recycled propaganda.
Such a reader doesn’t even bother or begin
to understand what’s being said.
He just hangs a label on you
and forever after identifies you
as the lowest form of animal life –
namely, an Armenian
who doesn’t love all Armenians
and hate all Turks.
Such a reader is convinced
anyone who has more power or money
must know better.
He is Bolshevik in his pragmatism,
capitalist in his value system,
and Catholic in his dogmatism.
#
-
TO KNOW IS TO REMEMBER
******************************************
To write also means to repeat
what has been said and forgotten;
to shout that which is whispered;
and to expose that which is covered up.
As for solutions to our problems:
I can only say and repeat:
solutions, like the Kingdom of God,
are within you.
*
Be honest with yourself and others
even when to be honest means
to be outnumbered a thousand to one.
*
Thou shalt not deceive yourself,
especially when the deception is disguised
as tradition, the laws of the land,
or the word of a king, pope, or
some other phony representative of god on earth:
in short, propaganda.
*
If belief systems don’t tell us
not to be dupes of propaganda
it may be because that would be like
digging their own graves.
But I maintain being a dupe
is one of the most dangerous transgressions.
Wars and massacres are perpetrated
by dupes whose sole justification has been,
“I was following orders,” or
I trusted the word of god as spoken
by a rabbi, imam, or bishop.
#
BIG BROTHERS,
AMONG OTHER THINGS
********************************
The Russians are our Big Brothers
only in the sense that for 600 years
Turks were our Big Brothers.
So was Cain to Abel.
*
When you are young
you pull up your pants
and go wherever you want to go.
But when you are old
someone else pulls up your pants
and takes you where you don’t want to go.
I am now paraphrasing the Bible
which may suggest it is not the Word of God
but of men with a credibility problem.
*
Lies that flatter are infinitely more dangerous
than mad dogs, venomous snakes, and mad elephants.
#
HOLIER-THAN-THOU
**************************************
There is a type of holier-than-thou reader
who likes to point out the fact that
my criticism of Armenians is nothing
but a projection of my own shortcomings.
Such a reader is convinced he knows better
because he is better.
His unspoken aim is not to understand reality
but to explain it in such a way
as to prove his moral and intellectual superiority;
and to prove it to others
in order to convince himself.
#
MEIN KAMPF
*********************************
All my efforts are now concentrated
on being readable. As for saving the nation:
I leave that to our bosses, bishops, benefactors
and dime-a-dozen superpatriots
with messianic ambitions.
*
ON SERMONIZERS AND SPEECHIFIERS
**********************************************
One way to define them is to say
they are men who know what must be said
but consistently and unanimously avoid
doing what must be done.
*
RIGHT AND WRONG
************************************
It is not enough to say we did nothing wrong.
Did we do anything right?
Even more to the point:
Can we even tell right from wrong?
*
OUR SHISH-KEBAB PARTIES
**************************************
Members of the Tea Party in America
are the offspring of individuals
who in the second half of the 19th century
fought a bloody civil war –
some say the bloodiest in history –
in defense of slavery.
They remind me of our
bosses, bishops, and benefactors
who, to save the nation, they divide it.
*
WORDS OF WISDOM
********************************
There is an old Armenian saying:
“He is so smart he even knows
where the devil sleeps.”
The devil, my friends, sleeps where he resides
and he resides in our hearts.
*
TELL ME
************************
Am I saying anything
you don’t already know?
#
-
THE BOTTOM LINE
****************************************
Our problems were thrust on us by others. We reject their solutions on our own.
*
Only the rotten succeed in a corrupt environment.
*
The greater the political control of schools, libraries, newspapers, community centers and churches, the greater the number of yes-men and dupes.
*
The challenge is to speak of serious things without taking oneself seriously; to be critical of others and even more critical of ourselves.
*
In a totalitarian environment to say your ambition is to succeed as a writer is like saying as a virgin it is your ambition to be a bordello madam.
*
When wolves are in charge, sheep will be useful only as lunch.
#
ORWELL SPEAKS
********************************
In one of his essays
George Orwell speaks of
“the corrosive digestive juices
of the British imperial leviathan.”
You may now have a better understanding
of the depths of our own degradation.
*
Elsewhere he speaks of
“the smelly little orthodoxies
contending for our souls.”
#
FROM MY NOTEBOOKS
******************************************
There is an old saying:
“When you’re down, the only way is up.”
Like all rules this one too has its exceptions:
Armenians.
*
The Greek jury that condemned Socrates to death;
the men who crucified Christ;
the solitary Hindu who assassinated Gandhi:
they all shared one thing in common:
they were brainwashed to believe
the gods, truth, and historic necessity were on their side.
*
If you brainwash children to believe
in the myth of the Holy Trinity,
they will be inclined to believe in many other trinities
like liberté, fraternité, egalité;
thesis, anti-thesis, synthesis;
Marx, Engels, Lenin…
*
A nation that hates together stays together.
*
Judge a tree by its fruit and a propaganda line
by the number of its victims.
*
I quote to enhance my credibility.
What the hell does an Armenian scribbler know?
An odar author, that’s different.
Prof. Hamalian on Zarian,
after reading my translations:
“He writes like one of my bright students.”
*
Academics: they all proceed from the assumption
that they know better.
Question: With over a thousand Armenian academics
in America alone, why is it that our collective existence
is in such a mess?
#
I COULD BE WRONG
***************************************
Certainties are the source of all evil.
But I could be wrong…
*
Has anyone ever said
I could be wrong
but let’s divide the community anyway?
Or, I could be wrong
but let’s go to war …
*
To some a belief system is nothing
but a source of income and power.
*
Where there are idols
there are idol-makers.
Where there are dupes
there are deceivers.
I think it was Luther who said:
“The God of Christians (meaning Catholics)
is an idol.”
*
What is patriotism?
In theory, love of God and Country.
In practice, to brainwash children
and manipulate adults.
*
We should teach our children to say
“I could be wrong.”
*
Socrates was condemned to death
because he spoke in defense of doubt and uncertainty.
“Of the gods,” said he, “we know nothing!”
#
-
FREEDOM
*************************
Everyone speaks of freedom of religion
as if it were a good thing,
a mark of progress and civilization.
What if what will civilize the world
is not freedom of religion
but freedom of dissent and heresy?
But as long as rabbis, bishops and imams
are allowed the freedom
to poison the minds of children
we will have wars and massacres.
*
Why is this so difficult to understand?
Empires decline and fall
not when its prostitutes, pimps,
thieves and degenerates prosper
but when its spiritually superior individuals
(self-assessed of course) assume leadership positions.
*
Moral I: Freedom of religion is freedom to enslave.
*
Moral II: Freedom to brainwash children
is a crime against humanity.
#
JAGADAKIR
**************************************
We have a school of thought that says
Christianity was a bad choice for us.
We should have converted to Islam.
The unmistakable implication being,
since we cannot change the past,
we cannot change our present and future.
What’s done is done and it cannot be undone.
It is our jagadakir (destiny) therefore
to remain perennial losers.
Let us therefore, in legal parlance,
drop our pants and bend over to whoever is on top –
be he a shah, pasha, padishah, sultan or commissar.
*
But I maintain our problem is not our choice of religion.
Our problem is ignorance of the world,
divisiveness, corruption, incompetence, treason,
and intolerance of any idea
that may shatter our image as la crème de la crème
and expose us as la crème de la scum.
#
IN BRIEF
************************
On our present situation:
Losers at the mercy of other losers.
*
SWINE
******************
The 1% are cold-blooded swine
who think they will not burn in hell
because hell is their own invention.
*
KNOWN UNKNOWNS
************************************
We know that Sultan Abdulhamid II’s mother
was Armenian. We also know that Talaat himself
was probably part-Armenian.
What we don’t know is
how many of our own present leaders are Turks.
*
INTERNET
***************************
Is the Internet making us smarter or dumber?
I don’t know. All I know is that
if an ape uses it he will not be born-again
as a human being.
*
ON ASSAD
**********************
Tina Brown on Bashar-al-Assad:
“A creepy, lisping, giraffe-necked liar.”
*
LOLITA
**********************
I don’t read and reread LOLITA
to be enlightened or instructed.
I read it because it is compulsively readable –
from the first (“fire of my loins”)
to the last sentence.
#
NOTES & COMMENTS
**************************************
There is a general in every solider
(according to Napoleon),
a pope in every seminarian,
a master in every slave,
a capitalist in every proletarian,
and (according to a schoolteacher)
a Turk in every Armenian.
*
Nothing disarms a man
with a highly developed spirit of contradiction
than agreement.
*
We read so many obituaries
and hear of so many deaths when we are alive
that we end up thinking of ourselves
almost as immortal.
#
-
WHY WRITERS WRITE
*******************
When asked why he writes, a writer is quoted as having replied: "So that idiots may have something to think about in twenty years."
*
The problem with most Armenian writers is that
they want to achieve popularity
long before they are murdered by a foreign tyrant
or starved by their fellow Armenians.
*
Am I right or wrong?
I am not sure. But I know this:
if I am wrong, my voice will be drowned
by a chorus of loud-mouth chauvinists, charlatans,
partisans, skinheads, and panchoonies,
none of whom will ever dare to question the authority
of any one of our bosses, bishops, and benefactors.
*
If all Turks vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow,
Armenians wouldn't miss them because an Armenian friend
wouldn't be much different from a Turkish enemy.
*
Charles Péguy: "Out of ignorance and a sense of duty
most decent people are liable to turn into criminals."
*
You can't talk ethics with a bishop:
he thinks he has a monopoly on the subject.
You can't talk sharing power with a boss:
he thinks he is the best-qualified man for the job.
You can't talk money with a benefactor:
he won't listen to anyone who makes less than he does.
*
Scottish proverb: "The devil's boots don't creak."
*
All persecuted minorities and victims tend to view freedom
as the freedom to persecute and victimize.
*
La Rochefoucauld: "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does."
*
"I paint with my prick," Renoir is quoted as having said.
Some of my readers think with theirs.
#
-
INSPIRATION
**********
The eternal snow of Mt. Ararat .
Nightingales serenading the moon.
I leave these things to our versifiers.
The written word is my main source of inspiration.
When I agree with something,
I compose a variation.
When I disagree,
I improvise a contradiction.
When I read an irresistible passage,
I quote it.
I love to quote.
i love to read books of quotations.
So much so that I have myself compiled two of them:
one published (A DICITIONARY OF ARMENIAN QUOTATIONS),
the other (much more extensive) in manuscript form.
*
As for originality:
How much of Plato is Socrates?
How much Socrates owes to the pre-Socratics
most of whose works have survived, if at all, in fragments.
*
It was Hemingway who once said:
“Minor writers plagiarize. Major writers steal.”
And sure enough, at one time or another all major writers
have been accused of being plagiarists –
Sartre, Garcia Marquez, Toynbee, Zarian...
*
Toynbee once described himself as someone
who moves old furniture around.
Garcia Marquez’s style has been traced back
to the 1001 ARABIAN NIGHTS and Faulkner.
An American academic, Stern by name
(that’s the only thing I remember about him)
once wrote a book in which he traced all of Sartre’s ideas
to predecessors.
It was Oshagan who accused Zarian.
Need i say more?....
#
TWO GERMAN PHILOSOPHERS
**********
On Nietzsche:
When asked what he thought of Nietzsche,
Jules Renard is said to have replied:
"There are too many useless letters in his name."
*
On Heidegger:
The son-of-a-bitch was a Nazi
who fell in love with one of his students
who happened to be a Jewess.
*
LOATHSOME IMBECILES
**********
In his THE ITALIANS, Luigi Barzini writes:
"There comes a day in every man's life
when he realizes his leaders are loathsome imbeciles."
*
COUNTER-PROPAGANDA
**********
I repeat myself because I write counter-propaganda.
If propaganda repeats itself, what choice do I have?
#
-
ORSON WELLES SPEAKS
************************************
He hated the Irish, beginning with Spencer Tracy.
In his recently published CONVERSATIONS he explains:
“Seven hundred years of bitter oppression
changed their character, gave them
that passive meanness and cunning.”
*
By contrast, he loved Hungarians:
“I love Hungarians to the point of sex!
I almost get a hard-on when I hear a Hungarian accent;
I am so crazy about them.”
*
On Israelis: “The only time they make good music
is when Zubin Mehta, a Hindu, comes to conduct.”
*
On Coppola: “THE GODFATHER is the glorification
of a bunch of bums who never existed.”
*
More to follow….
#
ORSON WELLES SPEAKS (II)
******************************************
On intellectuals:
“They are the biggest pushovers.
They love power.
They cluster around whatever golden boy,
or man, is in power and begin to justify it.”
*
On writers:
“I don’t like Dostoevsky.
Tolstoy is my writer.
Gogol is my writer.
I’m not a Joyce guy…”
*
On women:
“They are another race.
You can’t tell them the truth.
You have to lie.”
*
On Russians:
“They have terrible taste.
They are a people of genius;
and they are very literal.
They are ‘machine-made.’
Poor people.”
*
On American journalists: ‘
“Cocksuckers with typewriters.”
*
On Laurence Olivier:
“He was so in love with his own image
it was terribly hard for him
to resist going down on himself.”
#
ONCE BRAINWASHED
ALWAYS BRAINWASHED
*********************************************
That’s the only way to explain why so far
Christians have failed to convert Muslims
and vice versa.
*
Both bishops and imams agree that
when it comes to brainwashing
children are more receptive candidates;
and what’s even more outrageous,
they call it education.
*
The overwhelming majority of people
are born, live, and die as dupes.
*
I judge the importance of a book
by the number of prejudices and preconceptions
it exposes and shatters beyond repair.
*
An honest Christian will be honest
only in the eyes of his co-religionists.
An honest infidel or hetanos is an oxymoron.
*
An Armenian has no use for writers.
He is a man of action who understands everything
and knows nothing – or is it the other way around?
#
-
CONFESSION (XXII)
*************************
Since I have no political ambitions
I don’t mind admitting that
I have been wrong most of my life
and I am probably wrong today.
If to be right means to kill someone
I’d much rather be wrong.
*
My favorite illusion:
As human being most people are equipped
to see the light of reason.
*
Addicts of the blame-game
refuse to believe that we have played a key role
in our history and we continue to do so today.
*
Anonymous: “History does not repeat itself,
but it rhymes.”
#
WORSE THAN A CRIME
*************************************
A friend of mine once wrote a book
titled AS OTHERS SEE US
but was careful to quote and discuss
mostly friendly witnesses.
*
I committed a worse blunder:
I wrote a book on Armenian history
from which I excluded anything
that may be remotely classified as negative;
and what’s even more repellent to me now,
I never thought of what I was writing
as propaganda. Like all idiots and dupes
I believed it was my patriotic duty
to treat my readers as idiots and dupes.
*
Assad’s crime we are told is using poison gas
to kill his own people.
What we are not told is that
his blunder consisted in having made no effort
to reconcile and unite his fragmented nation.
*
I think it was Talleyrand who once said to Napoleon:
“It was worse than a crime, Sire, it was a blunder.”
#
ON TEXTBOOKS
*********************************
There is one past but there are
ten thousand historians.
*
ON THE STUDY OF HISTORY
*********************************
There are two basic approaches to the study of history:
objective and hysterical.
*
FROM AN OBJECTIVE STUDY
OF ARMENIAN HISTORY
***********************************
We were divided by Turks;
we were divided by Bolsheviks;
and we are now being divided by our own
Ottomanized, Stalinized, and moronized bureaucraps (sic).
*
FROM A TEXTBOOK
ON POLITICAL SCIENCE AND DIPLOMACY
**************************************************
Never fight your enemies if you can divide them.
Remember the Armenians.
*
FROM A TEXTBOOK
ON BRAINWASHING
*******************************
After you moronize them
you can even convince them to be
just about the smartest people on earth.
#
DISAGREEMENTS
*********************************
Many readers disagree with me.
That does not surprise me in the least.
In human affairs disagreement is the rule
rather than the exception.
*
Lawyers and politicians disagree all the time;
so do bishops and imams; and in our case
bishops (Etchmiadznagan) and bishops (Anteliassagan).
*
More often than not however,
disagreements are rooted not in ideas
but in sources of income, or power and prestige.
We live in a world where ideas have become
as relevant as the song of a non-existent bird
in an imaginary forest.
*
Speaking of our ruling classes,
and more specifically our neo-commissars
and crypto-Panchoonies: they have discovered
a new way of dealing with their critics:
they refuse to acknowledge their existence;
and it seems to work provided of course
you ignore the high assimilation rate in the Diaspora
and the exodus in the Homeland.
Criticizing them might as well be an exercise in futility;
and exposing their would be like trying to kill a man
who is committing suicide.
Comments
in Literature
Posted
Sunday, January 26, 2014
**************************************
THE BLAME GAME…
AMONG OTHER THINGS.
*****************************************
If you master the rules of the blame-game
you can easily represent yourself as a statesman of vision
and the opposition as a cesspool
of corruption, incompetence and stupidity.
*
When in doubt
I always do that which is against my own interests.
*
Whatever I have done,
I have done out of necessity and under duress.
The choice was thrust on me
the way subservience is thrust on the 99%.
*
Bishops, imams, rabbis:
they share a common wish to be trusted and respected,
but they neither trust nor respect one another.
*
If a single man can be wrong,
so can two or two thousand or two million,
especially when they speak of
the Incomprehensible and the Unknowable.
*
The Scriptures tell us to turn the other cheek
not to drop our pants...
*
We are midgets perched on the shoulders
of lesser midgets.
*
We are told there are two kinds of statistics,
lies and damn lies.
What about belief systems?
#
ALPHA MALES
****************************
Bosses, bishops, benefactors:
alpha males whose #1 concern is #1.
The rest is propaganda.
*
PATRIOTISM
*****************************
There are Armenians – and I know some of them myself –
who view intolerance, ignorance, and stupidity
as authentic expressions of their patriotism
and moral superiority.
*
DIALOGUE
*******************
In dialogue there are no losers
because both sides learn from each other.
Which may explain why dialogue
happens to be quintessentially un-Armenian.
*
WRITING
*********************
I write.
It’s an inexpensive hobby – the cheapest I know.
It costs me nothing.
#
ON WHAT WE KNOW
*************************************
Nobody knows everything about anything.
Some of the worst blunders in the history of mankind
were committed by very smart men
(self-assessed, of course) who thought
they knew all there is to know about the enemy.
*
We know now that even Wall Street
doesn’t know everything about Wall Street.
*
The 99% hate the 1% -- their secret role models.
*
The 1% are at their best
when it comes to deceiving and exploiting the 99%.
*
We like to pretend we know more about ourselves
than anyone else until we are cornered, assaulted and defeated
by our own irrational impulses.
*
Once upon a time we were ruled by kings.
We are now ruled by moneyed morons
with the charisma of apes.
*
There are always two schools of thought
and we tend to favor the school
that is more favorable to our vanity.
*
We say “shit happens”
even when we micro-managed the catastrophe.
#
AS I SEE IT
******************************
Leaders: Blind men who pretend to have 20/20 vision.
*
There are two kinds of failures:
(a) those who make less than minimum wage
(Armenian writers come readily to mind) and
(b) those who make a million a day (guess who).
*
In the eyes of the 99% the 1% might as well be Turks.
*
Speaking of Turks:
We know what they did to us.
My question is: What did we do to them?
If something, what?
If nothing, why not?
*
You tell me I simplify complexities?
Am I then the only one?
*
More on the 1%:
Two reasons they are free men:
(a) They can afford a dream team, and
(b) they know the judge.
*
A headline in my morning paper:
“Neanderthal genes found in modern humans.”
So what else is new?
#
PHILOSOPHICAL INVESTIGATIONS
***********************************************
Justice is on the side of the more competent lawyers
in the same way that victory is one the side of bigger battalions.
*
Turks don’t need a dream team.
They have Yanks on their side.
*
My philosophy of writing?
To be readable.
*
I don’t write to make you feel good.
What I do is hold up a mirror
and make you wish you were dead.
*
Some problems don’t get solved
because we don’t have a clear awareness of their existence.
*
There are truths which we take for granted
until we consider their contradiction.
*
The 1% are dead men who will do anything
to keep their money beginning with staying alive.
*
Progress is possible in all branches of human endeavor
except religion.
*
A single pope can brainwash millions of Catholics
but not a single imam.
#
A WORTHY AMBITION
********************************
The secret ambition of every Muslim terrorist
is to defeat America and to acquire a harem
of Hollywood starlets.
*
THE TYRANNY OF RELATIVITY
***************************************
Virtues like self-reliance, initiative, originality and perseverance
in the wrong hands become dangerous vices.
*
85% VERSUS 86%
******************************
We are told 85% of TV commercials are misleading
and the law can’t put a stop to that
because law-makers (i.e. politicians)
mislead the people 86% of the time.
*
WHAT THEY SHARE
*****************************
Defeats are planned as carefully as victories.
#