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arabaliozian

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Posts posted by arabaliozian

  1. Sunday, January 26, 2014

    **************************************

    THE BLAME GAME…

    AMONG OTHER THINGS.

    *****************************************

    If you master the rules of the blame-game

    you can easily represent yourself as a statesman of vision

    and the opposition as a cesspool

    of corruption, incompetence and stupidity.

    *

    When in doubt

    I always do that which is against my own interests.

    *

    Whatever I have done,

    I have done out of necessity and under duress.

    The choice was thrust on me

    the way subservience is thrust on the 99%.

    *

    Bishops, imams, rabbis:

    they share a common wish to be trusted and respected,

    but they neither trust nor respect one another.

    *

    If a single man can be wrong,

    so can two or two thousand or two million,

    especially when they speak of

    the Incomprehensible and the Unknowable.

    *

    The Scriptures tell us to turn the other cheek

    not to drop our pants...

    *

    We are midgets perched on the shoulders

    of lesser midgets.

    *

    We are told there are two kinds of statistics,

    lies and damn lies.

    What about belief systems?

    #

    ALPHA MALES

    ****************************

    Bosses, bishops, benefactors:

    alpha males whose #1 concern is #1.

    The rest is propaganda.

    *

    PATRIOTISM

    *****************************

    There are Armenians – and I know some of them myself –

    who view intolerance, ignorance, and stupidity

    as authentic expressions of their patriotism

    and moral superiority.

    *

    DIALOGUE

    *******************

    In dialogue there are no losers

    because both sides learn from each other.

    Which may explain why dialogue

    happens to be quintessentially un-Armenian.

    *

    WRITING

    *********************

    I write.

    It’s an inexpensive hobby – the cheapest I know.

    It costs me nothing.

    #

    ON WHAT WE KNOW

    *************************************

    Nobody knows everything about anything.

    Some of the worst blunders in the history of mankind

    were committed by very smart men

    (self-assessed, of course) who thought

    they knew all there is to know about the enemy.

    *

    We know now that even Wall Street

    doesn’t know everything about Wall Street.

    *

    The 99% hate the 1% -- their secret role models.

    *

    The 1% are at their best

    when it comes to deceiving and exploiting the 99%.

    *

    We like to pretend we know more about ourselves

    than anyone else until we are cornered, assaulted and defeated

    by our own irrational impulses.

    *

    Once upon a time we were ruled by kings.

    We are now ruled by moneyed morons

    with the charisma of apes.

    *

    There are always two schools of thought

    and we tend to favor the school

    that is more favorable to our vanity.

    *

    We say “shit happens”

    even when we micro-managed the catastrophe.

    #

    AS I SEE IT

    ******************************

    Leaders: Blind men who pretend to have 20/20 vision.

    *

    There are two kinds of failures:

    (a) those who make less than minimum wage

    (Armenian writers come readily to mind) and

    (b) those who make a million a day (guess who).

    *

    In the eyes of the 99% the 1% might as well be Turks.

    *

    Speaking of Turks:

    We know what they did to us.

    My question is: What did we do to them?

    If something, what?

    If nothing, why not?

    *

    You tell me I simplify complexities?

    Am I then the only one?

    *

    More on the 1%:

    Two reasons they are free men:

    (a) They can afford a dream team, and

    (b) they know the judge.

    *

    A headline in my morning paper:

    “Neanderthal genes found in modern humans.”

    So what else is new?

    #

    PHILOSOPHICAL INVESTIGATIONS

    ***********************************************

    Justice is on the side of the more competent lawyers

    in the same way that victory is one the side of bigger battalions.

    *

    Turks don’t need a dream team.

    They have Yanks on their side.

    *

    My philosophy of writing?

    To be readable.

    *

    I don’t write to make you feel good.

    What I do is hold up a mirror

    and make you wish you were dead.

    *

    Some problems don’t get solved

    because we don’t have a clear awareness of their existence.

    *

    There are truths which we take for granted

    until we consider their contradiction.

    *

    The 1% are dead men who will do anything

    to keep their money beginning with staying alive.

    *

    Progress is possible in all branches of human endeavor

    except religion.

    *

    A single pope can brainwash millions of Catholics

    but not a single imam.

    #

    A WORTHY AMBITION

    ********************************

    The secret ambition of every Muslim terrorist

    is to defeat America and to acquire a harem

    of Hollywood starlets.

    *

    THE TYRANNY OF RELATIVITY

    ***************************************

    Virtues like self-reliance, initiative, originality and perseverance

    in the wrong hands become dangerous vices.

    *

    85% VERSUS 86%

    ******************************

    We are told 85% of TV commercials are misleading

    and the law can’t put a stop to that

    because law-makers (i.e. politicians)

    mislead the people 86% of the time.

    *

    WHAT THEY SHARE

    *****************************

    Defeats are planned as carefully as victories.

    #

  2. Sunday, January 26, 2014

    **************************************

    THE BLAME GAME…

    AMONG OTHER THINGS.

    *****************************************

    If you master the rules of the blame-game

    you can easily represent yourself as a statesman of vision

    and the opposition as a cesspool

    of corruption, incompetence and stupidity.

    *

    When in doubt

    I always do that which is against my own interests.

    *

    Whatever I have done,

    I have done out of necessity and under duress.

    The choice was thrust on me

    the way subservience is thrust on the 99%.

    *

    Bishops, imams, rabbis:

    they share a common wish to be trusted and respected,

    but they neither trust nor respect one another.

    *

    If a single man can be wrong,

    so can two or two thousand or two million,

    especially when they speak of

    the Incomprehensible and the Unknowable.

    *

    The Scriptures tell us to turn the other cheek

    not to drop our pants...

    *

    We are midgets perched on the shoulders

    of lesser midgets.

    *

    We are told there are two kinds of statistics,

    lies and damn lies.

    What about belief systems?

    #

    ALPHA MALES

    ****************************

    Bosses, bishops, benefactors:

    alpha males whose #1 concern is #1.

    The rest is propaganda.

    *

    PATRIOTISM

    *****************************

    There are Armenians – and I know some of them myself –

    who view intolerance, ignorance, and stupidity

    as authentic expressions of their patriotism

    and moral superiority.

    *

    DIALOGUE

    *******************

    In dialogue there are no losers

    because both sides learn from each other.

    Which may explain why dialogue

    happens to be quintessentially un-Armenian.

    *

    WRITING

    *********************

    I write.

    It’s an inexpensive hobby – the cheapest I know.

    It costs me nothing.

    #

    ON WHAT WE KNOW

    *************************************

    Nobody knows everything about anything.

    Some of the worst blunders in the history of mankind

    were committed by very smart men

    (self-assessed, of course) who thought

    they knew all there is to know about the enemy.

    *

    We know now that even Wall Street

    doesn’t know everything about Wall Street.

    *

    The 99% hate the 1% -- their secret role models.

    *

    The 1% are at their best

    when it comes to deceiving and exploiting the 99%.

    *

    We like to pretend we know more about ourselves

    than anyone else until we are cornered, assaulted and defeated

    by our own irrational impulses.

    *

    Once upon a time we were ruled by kings.

    We are now ruled by moneyed morons

    with the charisma of apes.

    *

    There are always two schools of thought

    and we tend to favor the school

    that is more favorable to our vanity.

    *

    We say “shit happens”

    even when we micro-managed the catastrophe.

    #

    AS I SEE IT

    ******************************

    Leaders: Blind men who pretend to have 20/20 vision.

    *

    There are two kinds of failures:

    (a) those who make less than minimum wage

    (Armenian writers come readily to mind) and

    (b) those who make a million a day (guess who).

    *

    In the eyes of the 99% the 1% might as well be Turks.

    *

    Speaking of Turks:

    We know what they did to us.

    My question is: What did we do to them?

    If something, what?

    If nothing, why not?

    *

    You tell me I simplify complexities?

    Am I then the only one?

    *

    More on the 1%:

    Two reasons they are free men:

    (a) They can afford a dream team, and

    (b) they know the judge.

    *

    A headline in my morning paper:

    “Neanderthal genes found in modern humans.”

    So what else is new?

    #

    PHILOSOPHICAL INVESTIGATIONS

    ***********************************************

    Justice is on the side of the more competent lawyers

    in the same way that victory is one the side of bigger battalions.

    *

    Turks don’t need a dream team.

    They have Yanks on their side.

    *

    My philosophy of writing?

    To be readable.

    *

    I don’t write to make you feel good.

    What I do is hold up a mirror

    and make you wish you were dead.

    *

    Some problems don’t get solved

    because we don’t have a clear awareness of their existence.

    *

    There are truths which we take for granted

    until we consider their contradiction.

    *

    The 1% are dead men who will do anything

    to keep their money beginning with staying alive.

    *

    Progress is possible in all branches of human endeavor

    except religion.

    *

    A single pope can brainwash millions of Catholics

    but not a single imam.

    #

    A WORTHY AMBITION

    ********************************

    The secret ambition of every Muslim terrorist

    is to defeat America and to acquire a harem

    of Hollywood starlets.

    *

    THE TYRANNY OF RELATIVITY

    ***************************************

    Virtues like self-reliance, initiative, originality and perseverance

    in the wrong hands become dangerous vices.

    *

    85% VERSUS 86%

    ******************************

    We are told 85% of TV commercials are misleading

    and the law can’t put a stop to that

    because law-makers (i.e. politicians)

    mislead the people 86% of the time.

    *

    WHAT THEY SHARE

    *****************************

    Defeats are planned as carefully as victories.

    #

  3. Sunday, January 12, 2014

    ***************************************

    THOMAS MANN SPEAKS

    **************************************

    Where there is too much talk of love, there will be very little love.

    Who will dare to disagree with Thomas Mann (who probably wrote more about music than any other major modern writer) when he said:

    “The past half century has witnessed a regression of humanity, a chilling atrophy of culture, a frightening decrease in civility, decency, sense of justice, loyalty, and faith, and of the most elementary trustworthiness.”

    #

    ON MARRIAGE

    **********************

    Even if you marry the most beautiful woman in the world,

    sooner or later she will stink of garlic.

    Richard Burton on Elizabeth Taylor in his recently published diary:

    “She stinks of garlic – who has garlic for breakfast?”

    He probably stank of booze morning, noon, and night.

    #

    AS I SEE IT

    ***********************

    There is no such thing as a lovable nation.

    For every American who loves Armenians

    there will be at least two or more who love Turks.

    *

    I was the most disappointed man on earth

    when I met my first Turk.

    He was short, skinny, and timid.

    No fez. No yataghan. No shalvars. No bloodshot eyes.

    *

    When a face in the crowd smiles and says hello,

    the chances are it’s to the fellow behind you.

    *

    Books changed my worldview

    but music changed my life.

    I became a church organist.

    *

    Where the art of advertisement is developed,

    the brain will be underdeveloped.

    *

    There is an Armenian Christian heresy that believes

    the world was created not by God but the Devil.

    The evidence is overwhelming.

    *

    A generation of dupes will be followed by another.

    #

    FAMILIAR QUOTATIONS

    **********************************

    “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

    “I could have been a contender.”

    Can you identify the following two? “Gee, I wish we had one of those doomsday machines!” and “The cat is in the bag and the bag is in the river.”

    #

    ON COWARDICE

    *****************************

    If you speak in the name of patriotism, do so only in time of peace.

    Attack only individuals who are in no position to defend themselves.

    Attack anonymously and from a safe distance.

    *

    ON BEING AN ARMENIAN WRITER

    ***************************************

    As a failure you will be despised. As a success you will be hated unto death.

    *

    TWINS

    ******************

    To be corrupt and incompetent are Siamese.

    *

    MEN AND WOMEN

    ****************************

    On their own they can be good; it’s when they get together that the excrement hits the ventilator.

    *

    YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR?

    **************************************

    Recycle a fashionable propaganda line – like Bolshevik shit under Stalin and Nazi crap under Hitler…

    *

    POLITICS

    *********************

    To be in politics means to expose the double-talk of the opposition and to cover your own triple-talk.

    #

    CONSPIRACY

    ****************************

    Ever since I was born as an Armenian,

    there has been a carefully orchestrated conspiracy

    to convince me that being an Armenian

    is a rare privilege and I should consider myself

    the luckiest of men.

    The question that I cannot answer to this day is:

    Are members of this conspiracy

    our saviors or our grave-diggers?

    *

    If “a man is another man’s wolf,”

    is not an Armenian another Armenian’s Turk?”

    #

  4. POLITICS**********************

    There are two kinds of politics:

    garden variety and mafia.

    You may now guess our kind.

    *

    AS A RULE

    ********************

    Great countries produce great writers;

    small countries ghazetajis.

    *

    WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER?

    **************************************

    Between honest men who deal in facts

    and idiots who flatter egos,

    guess who will prevail.

    *

    FAILURE & SUCCESS

    ******************************

    You think success is better than failure?

    I think, not always.

    I have been a failure for such a long time

    that success would be the kiss of death for me.

    *

    TRIBES & EMPIRES

    ****************************

    To those who ascribe our defeats, disasters, and misfortunes

    to our location, location, location, I say,

    all empires begin as obscure tribes in the middle of nowhere.

    *

    Cavafy is right: the way to Ithaca is not a one-way street.

    *

    OBAMA

    **********************

    One of the very best things that happened to America

    in my own lifetime is Obama.

    You don’t agree?

    Make a short list of his adversaries:

    Trump, Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, and a wealth Mormon.

    #

    SPEAKING OF WRITERS

    ********************************

    Is a writer’s function to enlighten or to entertain?

    Neither? Both?

    In my view the first and most important function of a writer

    is to be readable.

    #

    ON WEALTH

    ******************************

    Someone like Obama could never be as wealthy as someone like Romney because, according to Plato, an honest man will employ only honest means and a dishonest man will employ honest as well as dishonest means to amass his fortune. I am not saying Plato speaks the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. All I am doing is paraphrasing an opinion and an opinion is not a dead end but only a tentative beginning.

    *

    ON MORMONISM

    *******************************

    Shaw says somewhere all professions are conspiracies against the laity. Likewise, all religions may be said to be conspiracies against all other religions. The same applies to ideologies and closed systems of thought.

    *

    MORE ON OBAMA

    ****************************

    He made many mistakes? Maybe. But had he done the opposite of what he did, he would have been impeached. Who wants a pope in the White House?

    #

    ON WEALTH

    ******************************

    Someone like Obama could never be as wealthy

    as someone like Romney because, according to Plato,

    an honest man will employ only honest means

    and a dishonest man will employ honest

    as well as dishonest means to amass his fortune.

    I am not saying Plato speaks the truth,

    the whole truth, and nothing but.

    All I am doing is paraphrasing an opinion

    and an opinion is not a dead end

    but only a tentative beginning.

    *

    ON MORMONISM

    *******************************

    Shaw says somewhere

    all professions are conspiracies against the laity.

    Likewise, all religions may be said to be

    conspiracies against all other religions.

    The same applies to ideologies

    and closed systems of thought.

    *

    MORE ON OBAMA

    ****************************

    He made many mistakes?

    Maybe. But had he done the opposite of what he did,

    he would have been impeached.

    Who wants a pope in the White House?

    #

    FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

    ****************************************

    If you speak the truth you will be contradicted not only by liars but also by dupes and idiots.

    *

    I don’t understand everything. Only god does; and if god wanted me to understand everything he would have created not men but gods.

    *

    For every truth there is a lie and sometimes a thousand of them.

    *

    A man who is his own worst enemy cannot be anyone’s friend.

    *

    The closer I get to the final answer the more certain I feel of my final failure.

    *

    Two mosquitoes may achieve more than one; a thousand of them may inflict serious damage.

    #

    Wednesday, January 01, 2014

    **************************************

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

    ****************************

    ...to one and all!

    *

    ON LEADERSHIP

    **************************

    Political leaders hate to admit error. Hence the existence of hirelings – meant to say, nationalist historians – and the importance of patriotism which is easily confused with loyalty to the leadership even when the leaders happen to be swine.

    *

    ON COMFORT & JOY

    ******************************

    When told I am a comfort to our enemies, I say, we are a greater comfort when we divide ourselves.

    *

    ON HUMAN NATURE

    **************************

    No matter what you say, you will get on someone’s nerves. Consider what happened to Socrates and Jesus. You say that was then and this is now? I say: technology may change but human nature stays the same. There are as many violations of human rights today as there were in the 5th century BC and 1st century AD.

    #

    INTOLERANCE

    ************************

    Intolerance makes men stupid. You can guess a man’s IQ fairly accurately by the manner in which he welcomes new ideas.

    *

    At least once every day we should remind ourselves of the vastness of the universe and our own insignificance in it.

    *

    Inaction can create as many problems as wrong action.

    *

    Some of the greatest men in the history of mankind were persecuted, even executed, for daring to challenge the authority of the 1%. What does that tell you about the IQ of mankind?

    #

    ON POPULAR MUSIC

    ************************************

    Popular music is incapable of achieving greatness.

    *

    There is something fundamentally wrong in a culture whose musical standards are set by teenagers and the CEOs of the recording industry.

    *

    I am reminded of the king who, after visiting America, said he was impressed by the manner in which parents obeyed their children.

    *

    One of the things that I love about America is the readiness with which they acknowledge their “ugly” specimens. There is even a best-selling book titled THE UGLY AMERICAN and a movie based on it with Marlon Brando in the title role.

    #

    NOTES & COMMENTS

    ************************************

    As a child I don’t remember an adult saying “I don’t know.” What they said was “You’ll find out when you grow up.”

    *

    I don’t write for readers; I write against them beginning with myself.

    *

    As a failure I am free; as a success I may be a slave to my success. Isn’t that what happened to Arlen and Saroyan?

    *

    When we divide ourselves the message we send to our enemies is: “No need to kill us; we are committing suicide.”

    *

    Armenians may be said to have a Turkish problem. I am that rarest of all Armenians: an Armenian with Armenian problems.

    *

    In a disagreement, you cannot defeat your adversary by insulting him; you can only expose your own limitations and inability to entertain new ideas.

    #

    ON WRITING

    ****************************

    The best opening line is the one you delete, according to Chekhov who probably wrote more opening lines than any other writer.

    *

    I remember to have read somewhere, as soon as you write a brilliant line, delete it. As far as I know, Simenon, one of the most successful and prolific writers of all time, never wrote a single brilliant line in his life.

    *

    Q

    **********

    Who benefits from wars, volcanoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis? Surely, not God. Who then? Is Mother Nature in cahoots with the Devil? What else?

    *

    ON PROFIT

    *****************

    If you are in the business of making money, your greatest assets are the ignorance and stupidity of the masses. Something similar could be said of politics.

    *

    PARTY DISCIPLINE

    ***************************

    It has happened to the best of my childhood friends. On their own they were more like wolves; but after joining a political party, they turned into sheep. Were they emasculated by party discipline?

    #

  5. BAH-HUMBUG

    *********************************

    Where would the 1% be

    without the full cooperation, dedication, and hard work

    of the 99%?

    *

    To be a good Armenian it is not necessary

    to be a bad human being with a closed mind.

    *

    Crooks have their uses:

    they make us appreciate the importance of honesty.

    *

    Being smart also means not repeating idiotlc blunders

    like dividing the community

    and abusing children by brainwashing them

    to brag about our genius for survival.

    #

    MEMO TO A WRITER

    *******************************

    If you say the opposite

    of what your average reader wants to hear

    you can’t go wrong.

    *

    ON POPULARITY

    ***********************

    Popularity is an American aberration

    and best-sellers the surest symptoms of mediocrity.

    *

    A CRITIC SPEAKS

    ***************************

    “You have been writing for thirty years now

    and you have changed nothing,”

    a reader writes implying

    either shut up or change your tune.

    Change begins in the heart

    and what happens there doesn’t make headlines,

    neither does it penetrate the hick skulls

    of those in a position to change things,

    especially if the status quo has been good to them.

    *

    WHY ENGLISH?

    *******************************

    I write in English because 99% of what I write

    would be considered unprintable by our 1%.

    #

    My greatest liability:

    I never mastered the art

    of flattering the powerful and the rich --

    i.e. the scum of the earth.

    #

    Was Santa good to you?

    *

    Both capitalism and communism

    have been good to their 1%.

    What does that tell you

    about ideologies and belief systems?

    *

    My own answer:

    They introduce meaningless divisions

    even when they know the result may be

    the slaughter of countless innocent victims;

    even when they have been warned

    “a house divided against itself cannot stand.”

    #

    TO MY CRITICS

    ******************************

    Gentle reader:

    Unlike you, I don’t pretend to speak the truth,

    the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

    Think of me only as the voice of another school of thought.

    *

    Knowledge and understanding are not your enemies.

    There is no need for you to defend yourself against them.

    *

    To think that you can speak the truth

    and be popular is an American fallacy.

    *

    So many first-class literary works

    have been rejected by publishers

    or ignored by the public that

    one is tempted to define writing

    as composing music for the deaf.

    #

    A HISTORY OF DECEPTION

    ***********************************

    Turks have been successful in convincing the Yanks

    (a) we are their Red Indians, and

    (b) whenever we don’t get our way

    we engage in acts of terrorists;

    which is what happened in the Ottoman Empire

    at the turn of the last century and more recently

    all over the world including America.

    *

    DUPES

    ****************

    We are born dupes.

    First we believe in the friendly disposition

    of the Young Turks and now

    we believe our own leaders

    when they tell us with our financial support

    they will have the Genocide recognized by the Yanks.

    *

    DUPES (II)

    ******************

    Where would tyrants be

    without cowardly dupes?

    *

    Q

    *******************

    “Melonsmellonous osculations.”

    Can you guess what’s being said

    and the identity of the author?

    #

    LESSONS

    *****************

    If history teaches us anything it is this:

    we can be wrong;

    we can be wrong even when we are right;

    we can be dead wrong even when

    God and the Great Powers are on our side.

    *

    The #1 concern of our 1% is not to solve our problems

    but to defend and protect their powers and privileges,

    which means Plan B only for themselves.

    *

    My ideal reader is one who hates to read;

    which means he has been at the mercy

    of speechifiers and sermonizers and is thus

    virgin territory easily impregnated with new ideas.

    *

    When I was young, unemployed and unemployable,

    two senior members of the Party came to see me.

    Someone had told them I love books and reading.

    “We are willing to subsidize your university education,”

    they said, “provided you agree to work for us.”

    Meaning: We have no use for your garbage;

    we have our own.

    Which may explain my present status

    as an abominable no man.

    Mart bidi ch’ellank!

    #

  6. IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

    *************************************

    Some of my critics take pleasure in the knowledge

    that I am a failure and a loser.

    To them I say, that may well be why

    I understand the nation.

    *

    FANS

    ***************

    It is true that our leaders have their share of admirers.

    But then so did Nero, Genghis Khan, Hitler, Stalin,

    Nixon, and Reagan.

    *

    LAWYERS AND POLITICIANS

    ****************************************

    Can you finish the following sentence?

    “If the world is in deep shit today it’s because…”

    *

    Q

    *********

    Is it possible that I am the only one

    who thinks the world would have been a better place

    without Elvis and the Beatles?

    *

    Q/A

    ************

    What will happen next?

    That which you least expect it.

    #

    RAFFI'S WARNING AND

    CHARENTS'S MESSAGE

    *************************

    To prove to a visiting Venetian painter

    what the neck of a beheaded man really looks like,

    Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent,

    also known as the Lawgiver,

    had a prisoner brought before him

    and beheaded.

    It is said that the Venetian painter

    (one of the Bellini brothers)

    was so shocked by the bloody spectacle

    that he left that same night under cover of darkness.

    That is the difference between that Venetian painter and us.

    The Venetian left.

    We stayed

    We stayed even after Raffi warned us

    the Ottoman Empire was no place for us

    because Turks had no respect for human life.

    We ignored Raffi's warning in the 19th century

    as we ignore today Charents's final message

    concerning our “salvation.”

    By “we” I mean less the people

    and more the leaders who speechify during the day

    about survival and turn into gravediggers

    under cover of darkness at night.

    #

    We are few.

    We are weak.

    We are vulnerable.

    Therefore, we are divided.

    Which is like saying:

    “I think.

    Therefore I am not.”

    #

    DISAPPOINTMENTS

    ************************************

    What is life if not

    an endless series of disappointments?

    A monster of human frailties,

    my ambition was to achieve perfection.

    I wanted to be the wealthiest man on earth

    but never made more than minimum wage

    with many intervals of unemployment.

    As a writer I have failed again and again

    to convince my readers that

    the smartest man in business

    may be an idiot in politics;

    in the same way that

    the loveliest woman in the world

    worshipped from a distance

    may be no better than a living corpse –

    all because man is not yet equipped

    to tell the difference between love and lust.

    You want to know more about the human condition?

    Take a good look at yourself in the mirror.

    #

    ON UNDERSTANDING

    **********************************

    You want to develop your understanding?

    Teach yourself to view things through alien eyes

    including your worst enemy.

    *

    Don’t speak of your problems to a friend

    unless of course you want to make him happy.

    I remember once, many years ago,

    when I mentioned a problem to a co-worker

    – a cute little blonde – she cut me off

    with the words: “I’ve got problems of my own.”

    *

    Wisdom can be found in the most unlikely places.

    *

    When I speak of a nation

    I mean of course its leaders and their dupes.

    The average law-abiding citizen

    may not be as smart as his political leaders,

    but he will be more honest.

    *

    Socrates is right: one can guess

    how honest a man by his income.

    #

    Reply, Reply All or Forward | More

    Wine

  7. THE DEFENSE

    ************************

    The Turkish line of defense is simplicity itself:

    “We did to the Armenians what you did to your Indians.”

    *

    The only people who refuse to acknowledge

    the finality of this statement are our fund-raisers and

    Hai Tahd (Armenian Case) tax collectors.

    *

    If the Greeks in their Golden Age ...

    found Socrates guilty of a capital offense

    and executed him,

    how dare we hope we can get justice

    from a jury of convicted liars and cut-throats?

    #

    ON STATESMANSHIP

    ****************************************

    You say he was a great statesman?

    Tell me, how many of our problems did he solve?

    A statesman is first and foremost a man of action:

    he formulates and implements policies

    which he can do only after developing a consensus.

    *

    You say Armenians are ungovernable?

    In that case a statesman’s function is

    to make the ungovernable governable.

    If he cannot do what must be done,

    he is a failure or, at best, a man not of action

    but of contemplation.

    He is more like Naregatsi

    and less like Gandhi, Churchill, and Mandela.

    *

    “He was a man of vision, a great patriot,

    sincere in his commitments to ideals?”

    So were Hitler, Mussolini, and Mustapha Kemal Ataturk.

    #

    A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING

    *******************************************

    When asked to name his favorite role model,

    one of our intellectuals

    (let’s call him Comrade Panchoonie)

    named one of our benefactors

    (let’s call him Jack S. Avanakian)

    and was amply rewarded.

    *

    SHAHAN SHAHNOUR SPEAKS

    ****************************************

    "A French whore is a whore.

    A German whore is a whore.

    A Greek whore is a whore.

    But a whore who writes is an intellectual."

    *

    QUESTION

    ***********************

    To the anonymous critic

    who reads and curses everything I write:

    “Are you the one I once called an inbred moron?”

    *

    JUST A GUESS

    **************************

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they said:

    “Let’s do to our Armenians

    what the Americans did to their Indians.”

    But I would be surprised

    if one of our revolutionaries said:

    “What if they do to us

    what the Americans did to their Indians?”

    #

  8. HOW TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS

    **************************************

    Tribal divisions are not a verdict without appeal.

    All we need is a Mandela.

    If Africans can do it, why can’t we?

    To those who say,”

    Why don’t you apply for the job?”

    I say: I am a failure as a writer.

    I would be a disaster as a political leader.

    My job consists in telling it like it is.

    Mandela?

    Hell, we couldn’t even come up with an Ataturk.

    #

    IN PRAISE OF OLD AGE

    ***********************************

    I have been young

    and I have been old

    and old is better.

    *

    If you are young and you assume to be right,

    you will be closer to the truth

    if you assume to be not just wrong

    but dead wrong; so wrong, in fact,

    that you may have to spend the rest of your life

    suffering the consequences of your blunder.

    *

    One advantage of old age is that

    you exercise more freedom

    in your choice of misery.

    *

    I write for dupes and idiots like myself

    when young.

    #

    EXPLANATIONS

    ***********************************

    If you have trouble understanding why

    successive American administrations

    have refused to recognize the reality of the Genocide

    here are some easily accessible explanations:

    Even when dead wrong, might is right.

    (Please note, I don’t make rules;

    I only state them as I see them.)

    Empires speaks a language

    tribal people don’t understand.

    Taking care of #1 is their #1 concern.

    Regimes don’t have principles, only interests.

    If you refuse to see the light

    it may be because you prefer to live in darkness

    (isn’t that what we did for 600 years?)

    Ignorance is a heavy burden.

    Lincoln was wrong.

    You can fool all the people all the time.

    Consider the long history of organized religions

    According to Toynbee

    (who quotes the Bible on almost every page he writes)

    our demands were unreasonable.

    It follows; the Turks did what they did

    because they had no other choice.

    To those who dismiss my short list

    of explanations as bullshit,

    allow me to quote another familiar proverb:

    “Life is a shit sandwich.

    The more bread you have

    the less shit you eat.”

    #

    NOISE

    ****************************

    The Chinese pictograph for noise

    is three women under the same roof –

    or so I remember to have read somewhere.

    The same word in an imaginary Armenian pictograph:

    two men.

    *

    Homo sapiens? Hell, no!

    Homo capable of being sapiens? Maybe.

    *

    Compared to nothingness

    (before we were born and after we die)

    being is an ephemeral dot so tiny

    that it might as well be invisible to the naked eye.

    One is almost tempted to say

    the reason we exist is to experience

    our own insignificance or nothingness.

    *

    When two selfish individuals meet,

    they learn the importance of altruism.

    #

  9. DECEPTION (I)

    ***************************

    Everything that needs to be said has been said. The role of our propaganda today is to deceive us into thinking everything that needs to be done is being done when in fact nothing is being done.

    *

    DECEPTION (II)

    In our official version of the story the Genocide was inevitable. Which raises the question: if our leaders cannot foresee the inevitable, what are they good for besides raising funds?

    *

    OVERHEARD

    ***********************

    “Make friends when you don’t need them.”

    *

    “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.”

    #

    TWO OBSERVATIONS

    ********************************

    If a closed mind makes you happy, by all means, follow your bliss. Only be warned. A fool’s happiness is a house without foundations.

    *

    In the eyes of some I am a self-hating Armenian because I refuse to rely on the support of men who could be useful to me – bosses, bishops, benefactors, their hirelings, hangers on and dupes. They fail to see the obvious: if I am against these gentlemen it is out of self-respect, and I suggest self-respect and self-hatred are mutually exclusive concepts.

    #

    ON THE ORIGINS

    OF PATRIOTISM

    *********************************

    If I had a choice between visiting Venice or Paris and the ugly little Greek slum where I was born and raised, I would choose the slum but I can’t because it’s no longer there – it was reduced to rubble by the Germans during World War II.

    *

    My doubts outnumber my certainties a thousand to one. I am one of those who feel guilty even when they say the right thing and do what must be done.

    *

    Judge an underdog by what he would do if he were a top dog.

    #

  10. ON POPULARITY

    ******************************

    Popularity is overrated.

    Neither Socrates nor Jesus was popular.

    Bach was neglected for a hundred years.

    Kafka was known only to a handful

    of close friends.

    Hegel’s last famous words:

    “No one understood me except one,

    and even he didn’t understand me.”

    My guess is Elvis and the Beatles

    made more money in a year than

    Mozart, Beethoven, and Brahms combined

    throughout their lifetime.

    *

    Have I said this before?

    No matter.

    Some things are worth repeating.

    #

    HOW TO BE OBJETIVE

    ***********************************

    The only way to be objective

    is to see oneself through alien eyes.

    The alternative is to view Catholics

    through the eyes of the Pope,

    the Soviets through the eyes of Stalin,

    and the Chinese through the eye of Mao

    on the grounds that these gentlemen know better.

    *

    One of the most important rules in dialogue:

    neither side is allowed to say “Yes, sir!”

    *

    Ideas like “All men are created equal,”

    should be judged by their history

    and not by their intentions.

    *

    Archie Bunker is dead,

    long live the Tea Party!

    #

    ON LAWYERS

    & RELATED ATROCITIES

    ************************************

    Where lawyers prosper, justice suffers.

    The function of a jury, it has been said,

    is to decide which side had the more competent

    legal representation.

    *

    Where advertisers prosper,

    the line that separates fact from illusion

    will be blurred.

    *

    Where there is great wealth,

    there will also be crooks.

    Plato’s explanation for this phenomenon:

    unlike honest men who will employ only honest means,

    crooks will employ honest as well as dishonest means.

    *

    We live in a land of bankers, investment brokers,

    public relations men, advertisers and lawyers.

    It follows, we are in deep sh*t.

    #

    BOOK REVIEW

    ***********************

    130 TALISMANS. By Kardash Onnig.

    Foreword by Alexander Boccialini Shundi.

    Illustrated. 2013. Published by Baraka

    (P.O. Box 145, Stanfordville, NY 12581).

    **************************************

    Are talismans, also known as “charms,” objects with mystical powers over evil or mumbo jumbo? My reason tells me they belong to the mumbo jumbo department of life, but my subconscious sings a different tune.

    After a black cat crosses my path, I feel better if I find a penny on the sidewalk. Accuse me of being superstitious and I will deny it. Figure that one out if you can.

    This illustrated booklet of 130 talismans is the latest opus by our Renaissance man of arts and letters, Onnig Kardash. Each talisman costs $400.00. If they weren’t beyond my income bracket I would love to buy a dozen of them (one for each room in the house) and forever after feel less vulnerable.

    (For more information write to Transformer @gmail.com).

    #

  11. RANDOM THOUGHTS

    ******************************

    After moronizing its own people America

    is now engaged in moronizing the world.

    *

    Describe someone objectively

    and deep inside somewhere

    one of his defensive walls is bound to collapse.

    *

    Most of my critics are not idiots

    but they appear to enjoy acting the part.

    *

    More often than not

    when I try to solve a problem

    I succeed only in compounding it.

    *

    My piano teacher taught me

    the only way to learn a piece marked presto

    is by playing it lento.

    *

    One way to be brilliant is

    by writing a hundred different versions

    of the same line and choosing the best.

    #

    MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE CONCEPTS

    *********************************************

    A wolf and a vegetarian diet.

    A closed mind and dialogue.

    An Armenian and a Turk.

    An Armenian and an Armenian.

    *

    What I write is free –

    like cheese in a mousetrap.

    *

    American saying: “90% of everything is crap.”

    Armenian translation: “99%.”

    #

    NOTES & COMMENTS

    ***********************************

    If the world were a room,

    the U.S. would be the elephant in it.

    *

    If you assume to be right

    you are automatically disqualified to engage in dialogue.

    *

    A liar’s best friend is another liar.

    *

    A snake’s ideal food is another snake.

    *

    Thirst for knowledge and thirst for blood

    are mutually exclusive concepts.

    *

    A dupe cannot have an open mind.

    *

    When the Nazis said “Gott mit uns”

    they meant of course the Devil.

    *

    I repeat myself?

    What about our sermonizers, speechifiers,

    and Turcocentric fanatics?

    *

    All corrupt regimes need enemies.

    Hatred is a glue and all politicians need scapegoats.

    #

    Wine

  12. REFLECTIONS

    **********************************

    A single priest may brainwash

    as many as a thousand children,

    but a thousand bishops cannot convert

    a single imam.

    All victimizers are experts at least in one field:

    in their choice of victims.

    *

    If you are an adult,

    you know something about history,

    and you are a nationalist,

    you may safely declare yourself

    a public nuisance and a retard.

    *

    If we were to judge a religion by its history,

    who would dare to brag about

    being a religious person?

    *

    I have never said none of our

    bosses, bishops, and benefactors is an honest man.

    What I have said is that

    I never had the pleasure of meeting one.

    #

    MASTERS & SLAVES

    ********************************

    As the offspring of perennial losers,

    I tend to divide my fellow men

    into masters and slaves,

    or top dogs and underdogs.

    *

    I fear and respect top dogs

    and I have as much respect for underdogs

    as I have for myself, which is none.

    That’s why my respect

    for our bosses, bishops, and benefactors

    knows no bound.

    Sometimes I even go as far as classifying them

    as architects of our collective destiny,

    when in fact they have as much power

    as a sardine in a pool of sharks;

    and when speechify and sermonize

    in the name of God and Country

    what they really mean is

    the KGB and the CIA.

    *

    HOW TO RECOGNIZE

    A RIGGED ELECTION

    **************************************

    If the winner is an enemy agent,

    he has the charisma of a robot

    and the eyes of a reptile, it’s rigged.

    #

    JUNKIES

    ****************************

    Notwithstanding the fact that

    our writers have been consistently misunderstood,

    rejected, starved, even betrayed

    and murdered in cold blood,

    there are boys and girls today

    whose ambition is to be a writer.

    There is a reasonable explanation

    for this strange phenomenon:

    ignorance of history.

    *

    The official version of our past

    has been bowdlerized so drastically that

    if reality and our school texts ever met

    they wouldn’t recognize each other.

    *

    We have this in common with Turks:

    we are junkies of state propaganda.

    There are well-established academics today

    (not all of them Turks)

    who believe Talaat was a great statesman.

    *

    Talaat’s arrogance was such that

    he dared to parade in the streets of Berlin

    as if he were a universally respected royalty in exile.

    Until reality caught up with him,

    as it caught up with us

    in successive waves of massacres

    whose message we

    (or rather our leadership)

    chose to ignore.

    *

    The problem with compulsive and habitual liars is that

    they end up believing in their lies.

    #

    MEMO TO A CRITIC

    **********************************

    My aim in life is to understand reality.

    Your aim, if I understand it correctly,

    is to assert some kind of superiority

    motivated by patriotism,

    which is also the aim

    of all speechifiers, sermonizers,

    and propagandists, who at

    least get paid for their work,

    *

    You may have noticed by now

    that I have a handful of favorite themes

    on which I compose endless variations.

    To those who accuse me of repeating myself

    I plead guilty as charged.

    My aim is not to achieve immortality

    or even earn minimum wage,

    but to speak of reality as I see it

    and not as I am told to see it

    by someone who may or may not be

    a compulsive liar, a child molester,

    or an inbred moron.

    *

    The trouble with Christianity

    as an organized religion is that

    99% of Christians were brainwashed as children.

    The same applies to all organized religions:

    they are organized to lie, deceive

    and when necessary to kill and die

    in defense of a god who has no need

    of their protection.

    *

    We need to talk!

    #

  13. ********************************

    INTERVIEW

    ****************************************

    Q: Raffi writes about bad as well as good Armenians.

    You write only about the bad. Why?

    A: Raffi was a great writer and a good man.

    Obviously I am not qualified to tie his shoes.

    Q: If propaganda is bad, why so many engage in it?

    A: So many also engage in adultery, drugs,

    smoking, war and massacre.

    You see, like you, I have more questions than answers.

    Q: Is it true that you love Turks and hate Armenians?

    A: I hate all liars and dupes regardless of nationality.

    Q: Why are you against patriotism?

    A: Because the ultimate aim of all patriotism is slaughter.

    I therefore say: F*** politicians who motivated by lust for power

    invent conflicts and brainwash the brainless.

    #

    TRYING TO MAKE SENSE

    ************************************

    Leaders are first and foremost moronizing agents.

    The world is being systematically moronized today

    by Americans as surely as

    the Middle East and the Balkans were moronized

    by the Ottomans and the Soviet republics

    were sodomized by the Russians.

    *

    What we think of ourselves

    is never the same as what others think of us.

    In that sense we are not much different from the groupie

    who once declared:

    “I am not a groupie! I don’t have sex with the boys.

    I don’t use my body. I only do blow jobs.”

    *

    The secret ambition of all victims is to be a victimizer.

    This may explain why an Armenian

    is another Armenian’s Turk.

    *

    Where propaganda is over-developed,

    literature will be under-developed,

    and in our case, non-existent!

    #

    MEMO TO MY CRITICS

    ********************************************

    Please note that I hate neither myself

    nor my fellow countrymen.

    What I really hate is the Turk in all of us

    and when I speak of Turks

    I don’t mean Turks as they are

    but as they appear to be in our history

    and collective experience.

    *

    READERS

    ***********************

    I don’t write for readers who know better.

    I write for readers who know as much as I did

    when I was a dupe.

    *

    ON A COMMON FALLACY

    **************************************

    We all share the same illusion:

    namely, that people will judge us by our propaganda

    and not by our history.

    *

    ON LITERATURE

    *********************************

    There is nothing wrong in admiring great writers

    provided you remind yourself that

    even the great ones, like Tolstoy and Dostoevsky,

    had their share of contradictions

    which they could not resolve.

    *

    MORE ON PATRIOTISM

    ***********************************

    A patriotic Armenian,

    like a patriotic Turk,

    knows very little or almost nothing

    about the history of his nation

    and most of what he knows is a lie.

    *

    ON INFALLIBILITY

    *******************************

    Arrogance and ignorance

    are at the root of all infallible assertions.

    *

    TO BE NOTED

    ****************************

    Compared to non-existence,

    existence lasts no more than a fraction of a second.

    #

    BROTHERS

    *****************************

    Thomas Mann is right.

    Hitler was not an alien creature but “a brother.”

    There is a Sultan and a Talaat in all of us.

    *

    ON FRIENDSHIP

    ***************************

    I have so few friends that if I were to lose one

    I would be friendless.

    *

    SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT

    *************************************

    I have been hired and fired many times

    but I have never hired and fired anyone.

    *

    ON SPEECHIFIERS

    AND SERMONIZERS

    **********************************************

    There is a natural tendency

    in all speechifiers and sermonizers

    to underestimate the value

    of dialogue, compromise, and consensus.

    *

    ON FRIENDSHIP (II)

    **********************************

    Because I write as I do,

    my patriotic friends pretend we have never met.

    *

    ON SURVIVAL

    ************************

    Perhaps to be an Armenian means

    to be a survivor with a gaping wound.

    *

    ON DUPES

    ******************

    One of the hardest things in life

    is to convince the average idiot

    that he is not a patriot but a dupe.

    #

    ALL BARK AND NO BITE

    *********************************

    It could be said of our Turcocentric ghazetajis

    that they are all bark and no bite.

    Something similar could also be said

    of Armenian literature from the Golden Age

    to the present. As for our speechifiers and sermonizers:

    they at least make a more or less comfortable living.

    *

    As a child I trusted adults if only because

    whenever I asked an inconvenient

    or difficulty question I was told

    “You’ll find out when you grow up.”

    *

    In a recent issue of an Armenian academic periodical

    I read the reviews of six recently published books,

    five of them about the Genocide.

    *

    What’s being done to arrest or slow down

    the present rate of assimilation in the Diaspora

    and exodus from the Homeland?

    I am grown up and I still don’t have

    the answer to that question.

    But if you do, please feel free to share it with us.

    #

    MORE QUESTIONS

    THAN ANSWERS

    ***************************************

    Is there a single Armenian

    in a position of power today

    whom you trust?

    Someone you would go to for advice?

    Someone you would vote for

    if he were running for office?

    Someone you don’t suspect of being

    a former KGB, CIA or both?

    *

    Three sure ways of improving

    a writer’s reputation of work:

    verbal abuse, censorship, starvation.

    *

    Why are superstition and propaganda

    more believable than science and knowledge?

    *

    Jews have acquired the reputation of a people

    that enjoy mutual support.

    The same cannot be said of Armenians.

    #

    FROM ALPHA

    TO OMEDGA

    ********************************

    If cathedrals are concrete and towering proofs

    of man’s faith in the existence of God,

    what are wars and massacres?

    *

    As for free will;

    it may apply to the Napoleons

    and Hitlers of the world

    but not to the average soldier

    who does the killing and dying;

    and certainly not to the civilian casualties.

    *

    The question, the real question, is not

    whether God exists or not

    but whether He gives a damn!

    *

    Am I shaped by my past

    or by my projects and hopes for the future?

    After I answer metaphysical questions

    I see more merit in their contradictions.

    *

    When the weak are led by the ruthless,

    the result will be a succession of catastrophes,

    that is to say, history as we know it.

    #

  14. A SKETCH OF MY LIFE*************************************

    In my formative years

    I was carefully brought up to be a garbage can

    Of prejudices, lies, and propaganda.

    If I understand my fellow Armenians today

    it may be because once upon a time

    I was one of them

    and I refuse to pretend otherwise.

    *

    It was very late in life

    that I realized deep inside somewhere

    I harbored a human being.

    *

    I wasted most of my life

    trying to please individuals

    whom I now classify as somewhere between

    moral riffraff and the scum of the earth.

    *

    When I say I loathe dupes

    what I really mean is that

    I loathe the dupe in me.

    The only thing I am willing to brag about

    is the fact that in my childhood

    I experienced homelessness, destitution,

    war, and discrimination in an alien environment.

    *

    Did I survive?

    Who can really tell?

    I feel more like that English soldier

    on the battlefield who,

    when informed by his king that he was wounded,

    replied: “Nay, Sire, I am dead.”

    #

    RECYCLING

    **************************

    To live in oppression means to believe in things

    that you don’t and to trust the judgment of individuals

    with the morality of pimps.

    As a nation we have lived in oppression

    for so many centuries that

    we are no longer in a position to tell

    the difference between

    freedom and oppression.

    Hence the saying:

    “Once upon a time we were slaves;

    we are now slaves of former slaves.”

    Progress is our least important product.

    *

    One of the most useful tools

    in criminal investigations is to ask:

    “Who benefits?”

    Who benefits from our divisions?

    *

    “A bourgeois is a bourgeois

    regardless of nationality,” Lenin said.

    So is a divider, a charlatan, and a deceiver.

    *

    “You repeat yourself.”

    So do our dealers in chauvinist crapola.

    *

    I don’t write to achieve fame, fortune,

    and immortality.

    I write to share my understanding.

    #

    WHAT I BELIEVE

    ***********************************

    I believe in the Incomprehensible,

    the Unknowable and in the commandment

    “Thou shalt not bear false witness.

    As for “Thou shalt not kill”:

    I believe a system that has legitimized

    the burning of heretics and more recently

    war and massacre is an invention of the Devil.

    The rest is metaphysics, mumbo jumbo,

    propaganda, and taxation without representation.

    *

    My aim in life is not to achieve

    fame, fortune, and greatness

    but to be less dishonest.

    *

    As the offspring of perennial losers,

    I have a soft spot for all losers

    even when they are identified as the enemy.

    #

    TRASHLAND

    **********************

    If Gogol and Kafka were to come back to life and collaborate on a book about reality in present-day Armenia, the result would be Denis Donikian’s VIDURES or AGHPASTAN, in Ruzanna Vartanian’s excellent Armenian translation (403 pages, Yerevan, 2013).

    Aghpastan, literally Trashland, is a biting satire and a horror story written with withering wit that utilizes many genres and styles reminiscent of James Joyce.

    *

    During a walk two friends discover the corpse of a woman in a garbage dump, an obvious victim of foul play.

    “I know who she is,” one of them says. “I recognize her by her hair and the undamaged side of her face. We should go to the cops.”

    The other is outraged.

    “The cops! The cops? Can you picture me walking into a police station? Walking in is easy. The trick is coming out. And sometimes you never come out.”

    “But it is against the law not to report a murder. If we ignore this murder and another murder next day, what happens if you or I are the next victims? If you and I and everybody else ignores a murder we become a nation of amnesiacs at the mercy of others.”

    “Maybe so -- but what happens if we are detained by the police? And when I say detained I don’t mean for an hour or a day but for months. Think of my piglets: what happens to them?”

    The conclusion is obvious: “Aghpastan” has become a country that swims in crime, criminals, executioners, and their victims.

    *

    The book begins and ends with the same two words: “Der Voghormia” (Lord have mercy).

    #

    Wine

  15. WHO IS A GOOD ARMENIAN?

    *******************************************

    Sartre: “It is the rich man who is virtuous

    and wants everyone else to be.

    His values are a defense if the status quo.”

    *

    Everyone is against dividers,

    but everyone seems to be for the status quo,

    especially if he belongs to the privileged classes –

    namely bosses, bishops, benefactors and their assorted hirelings and dupes.

    *

    Who is a good Armenian?

    “An Armenian who has Mt. Ararat in his heart,”

    -- whatever the hell that means.

    *

    I am not a Biblical scholar

    but the scholars I have consulted inform me

    the Bible does not mention “Mt. Ararat.”

    It says “mountains of Urartu,”

    of which there are about a thousand

    and most of them are not in Armenia.

    #

    CAREER MOVES

    *******************************

    For a good number of years

    my sole ambition in life

    was to be a brown-nosier.

    It took me quite a few years

    to realize it was a bad choice –

    and bad not on moral grounds

    but bad because

    the competition was too stiff.

    *

    MEMO

    TO MY PATRIOTIC READERS

    *********************************************

    The difference between you and me

    is that you like to brag

    and I don’t.

    #

    OUR LORDS AND MASTERS

    **************************************

    Some readers,

    among them former friends,

    disagree with me for an

    understandably compelling reason:

    they are financially dependent

    on the charity of swine.

    They may preach freedom

    but they are afraid

    not only of free speech

    but also of fellow Armenians

    who engage in it.

    *

    Our political and religious leaders

    are neither God’s nor people’s servants;

    they are our Lords and Masters.

    Deviate an inch

    and you are shish-kebab!

    #

  16. ON POWER

    **************************************

    Men in a position of power need flattery

    as much as a starving man needs bread.

    Their intolerance and hatred of dissent

    is rooted in vanity and not

    in some kind of ideological opposition.

    They don’t give a damn about ideas and ideologies

    which they consider a waste of time.

    To them intellectuals are no better than children

    and ideas their invisible toys or

    verbal hallucinations or ghosts

    and they don’t believe in ghosts.

    Words are good only when they glorify

    and flatter their egos.

    In their own eyes power is a blessing from God.

    It follows, whatever they do

    bears God’s seal of approval.

    Hence degenerate rulers

    and moronic multimillionaires

    operating on the assumption

    they are the uncrowned kings of the community.

    *

    History is clear on this point.

    Power drives men mad.

    Power is not a blessing but a curse.

    At the turn of the last century

    in the Ottoman Empire the sultan

    had a thousand concubines

    and as many versifiers,

    among them Armenians,

    singing his praises.

    *

    Talaat was more enlightened.

    He counted among his friends

    several intellectuals

    among them our own Zohrab.

    But as soon as he acquired power

    he had Zohrab assassinated.

    Napoleon put it best when he said

    “A man with an idea is my enemy.”

    #

    MORE ON TURCOCENTRISM

    *********************************************

    Turcocentrism may also be defined

    as an ideology that says

    we are not the architects of our destiny.

    It follows, the only logical explanation

    of our misfortunes is: “Shit happens.”

    *

    Consider earthquakes as a case in point.

    What we are not told is that

    according to experts

    “Earthquakes don’t kill people; buildings do.”

    *

    Nothing comes more naturally

    to a compulsive and habitual liar than

    to cover up and to lie.

    *

    The priority of all businessmen is profit.

    The more profit the better.

    Likewise, the priority of all politicians

    regardless of race, color and creed is power –

    the more power the merrier,

    even if it means the destruction of the nation.

    *

    Our dealers in chauvinist crapola

    expect us to believe

    what applies to all politicians

    does not apply to our own

    who rule and divide by the grace of God.

    #

    FOREIGNER

    ***********************

    To me, the ultimate odar (foreigner)

    is the Ottomanized and Sovietized Armenian.

    *

    ON SURVIVAL

    ********************

    We have survived – no one denies that –

    but survived as what?

    *

    PARADOX

    *************************

    Armenians who classify themselves as the best,

    sooner or later expose themselves as the worst.

    #

    “We are a people like any other people.”

    “Don’t flatter yourself.”

    #

    ZOHRAB & CHARENTS

    **********************************

    “We are a people like any other people.”

    “Don’t flatter yourself.

    Even our greatest intellectuals and poets,

    like Zohrab and Charents, were dupes

    of enemy propaganda.”

    “What would you have done in their place?”

    “Probably what they did and having done so

    I would deserve universal ridicule and contempt.”

    *

    SAROYAN

    *********************

    I will never forget the angry letter

    one of our elder statesmen sent me

    after reading one of my anti-Soviet tirades:

    “Saroyan loves the regime.

    You think you are smarter than Saroyan?”

    *

    GUILTY AS CHARGED

    *****************************

    You say I simplify complexities?

    What does propaganda do?

    What is propaganda if not the mother tongue

    of self-satisfied idiots and their dupes?

    *

    GUILTY AS CHARGED II

    *************************************

    “You repeat yourself.”

    “Not as often as our propagandists.”

    #

  17. FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

    **********************************

    Loyalty or subservience to authority

    is not patriotism but fascism.

    *

    My guess is, we produce

    more speechifiers, sermonizers and pundits

    per capita than any other nation on earth.

    *

    Who speaks today in the name of the people,

    and when I say people I mean

    not the dead but the living.

    *

    The most important questions in life

    are destined to remain unanswered.

    Even belief systems that pretend

    to have all the answers

    are willing to acknowledge this fact.

    There is a well-known story about a theologian

    who on informing the Pope that he had written

    a 1000-page treatise explaining the mystery

    of the Holy Trinity was ordered to “burn it!”

    #

    LIVE AND LEARN

    **********************************

    Until very recently I wasn’t aware of the fact

    that fund-raising is a profitable enterprise

    and that some chief executive officers

    of charitable organizations

    are paid million-dollar salaries.

    *

    Wee are more civilized.

    Our charitable organizations

    don’t have chief executive officers;

    even more to the point,

    they are accountable only to God,

    which in practice, means no one.

    *

    Question: Do CEOs of charitable organizations

    contribute to charitable organizations?

    #

    SCENARIOS

    ******************************

    On the day Azeris open their borders

    we will bleed from three open wounds:

    East, West, and North.

    *

    At the present rate of exodus,

    they will not have to fight us

    to reoccupy their lands,

    they will just walk in.

    *

    I am a comfort to our enemies?

    What about our dividers?

    What is their message?

    Let me guess:

    “No need to kill us,

    we plan to commit suicide.”

    What else?

    #

  18. ON CRACKPOTS

    ***********************************

    In a recent issue of TIME magazine

    there is an interview with Andre Agassi

    in which Armenians and massacres are not mentioned.

    *

    The best thing Saroyan ever said about the Genocide is that

    he felt sorry for the Turks.

    *

    Now you may understand why I refer to

    Genocide ghazetajis, Hai Tahd activists and fund-raisers

    as Turcocentric crackpots.

    *

    There is a baloney artist in all politicians

    and ours are no exception.

    #

    THREE MAXIMS

    ***************************

    Thinking against oneself

    is one of the cardinal virtues.

    *

    Politicians and honesty are

    mutually exclusive concepts.

    *

    To believe when you are right

    you have God and Truth on your side

    is to be a potential assassin and terrorist.

    #

    READING BETWEEN THE LINES

    ********************************************

    We all have our share of limitations

    with one difference: some of us

    are infatuated with them.

    Erasmus of Rotterdam was right when he said:

    “Everyone loves the smell of his own sh*t.”

    *

    The need to be understood

    always exceeds the need to understand.

    *

    Where lawyers and politicians enter,

    injustice and lies are sure to follow.

    *

    Never contradict a politician or a lawyer:

    remember, they are professionals.

    *

    To my anti-American friends

    from the Middle East I say:

    “I agree with you provided you also agree with me

    when I say the rest of the world is no better.”

    *

    Nobody ever said to be an honest man among crooks

    comes without a price.

    *

    I don’t always like or agree with what I say

    but once I put down 2+2=

    I have no choice but to say 4.

    #

    READERS

    *************************

    There is a type of reader

    (and I have my share of them)

    who is programmed to disagree and reject

    anything that is not recycled propaganda.

    Such a reader doesn’t even bother or begin

    to understand what’s being said.

    He just hangs a label on you

    and forever after identifies you

    as the lowest form of animal life –

    namely, an Armenian

    who doesn’t love all Armenians

    and hate all Turks.

    Such a reader is convinced

    anyone who has more power or money

    must know better.

    He is Bolshevik in his pragmatism,

    capitalist in his value system,

    and Catholic in his dogmatism.

    #

    Reply, Reply All or Forward | More

    Wine

    ON CRACKPOTS

    ***********************************

    In a recent issue of TIME magazine

    there is an interview with Andre Agassi

    in which Armenians and massacres are not mentioned.

    *

    The best thing Saroyan ever said about the Genocide is that

    he felt sorry for the Turks.

    *

    Now you may understand why I refer to

    Genocide ghazetajis, Hai Tahd activists and fund-raisers

    as Turcocentric crackpots.

    *

    There is a baloney artist in all politicians

    and ours are no exception.

    #

    THREE MAXIMS

    ***************************

    Thinking against oneself

    is one of the cardinal virtues.

    *

    Politicians and honesty are

    mutually exclusive concepts.

    *

    To believe when you are right

    you have God and Truth on your side

    is to be a potential assassin and terrorist.

    #

    READING BETWEEN THE LINES

    ********************************************

    We all have our share of limitations

    with one difference: some of us

    are infatuated with them.

    Erasmus of Rotterdam was right when he said:

    “Everyone loves the smell of his own sh*t.”

    *

    The need to be understood

    always exceeds the need to understand.

    *

    Where lawyers and politicians enter,

    injustice and lies are sure to follow.

    *

    Never contradict a politician or a lawyer:

    remember, they are professionals.

    *

    To my anti-American friends

    from the Middle East I say:

    “I agree with you provided you also agree with me

    when I say the rest of the world is no better.”

    *

    Nobody ever said to be an honest man among crooks

    comes without a price.

    *

    I don’t always like or agree with what I say

    but once I put down 2+2=

    I have no choice but to say 4.

    #

    READERS

    *************************

    There is a type of reader

    (and I have my share of them)

    who is programmed to disagree and reject

    anything that is not recycled propaganda.

    Such a reader doesn’t even bother or begin

    to understand what’s being said.

    He just hangs a label on you

    and forever after identifies you

    as the lowest form of animal life –

    namely, an Armenian

    who doesn’t love all Armenians

    and hate all Turks.

    Such a reader is convinced

    anyone who has more power or money

    must know better.

    He is Bolshevik in his pragmatism,

    capitalist in his value system,

    and Catholic in his dogmatism.

    #

  19. TO KNOW IS TO REMEMBER

    ******************************************

    To write also means to repeat

    what has been said and forgotten;

    to shout that which is whispered;

    and to expose that which is covered up.

    As for solutions to our problems:

    I can only say and repeat:

    solutions, like the Kingdom of God,

    are within you.

    *

    Be honest with yourself and others

    even when to be honest means

    to be outnumbered a thousand to one.

    *

    Thou shalt not deceive yourself,

    especially when the deception is disguised

    as tradition, the laws of the land,

    or the word of a king, pope, or

    some other phony representative of god on earth:

    in short, propaganda.

    *

    If belief systems don’t tell us

    not to be dupes of propaganda

    it may be because that would be like

    digging their own graves.

    But I maintain being a dupe

    is one of the most dangerous transgressions.

    Wars and massacres are perpetrated

    by dupes whose sole justification has been,

    “I was following orders,” or

    I trusted the word of god as spoken

    by a rabbi, imam, or bishop.

    #

    BIG BROTHERS,

    AMONG OTHER THINGS

    ********************************

    The Russians are our Big Brothers

    only in the sense that for 600 years

    Turks were our Big Brothers.

    So was Cain to Abel.

    *

    When you are young

    you pull up your pants

    and go wherever you want to go.

    But when you are old

    someone else pulls up your pants

    and takes you where you don’t want to go.

    I am now paraphrasing the Bible

    which may suggest it is not the Word of God

    but of men with a credibility problem.

    *

    Lies that flatter are infinitely more dangerous

    than mad dogs, venomous snakes, and mad elephants.

    #

    HOLIER-THAN-THOU

    **************************************

    There is a type of holier-than-thou reader

    who likes to point out the fact that

    my criticism of Armenians is nothing

    but a projection of my own shortcomings.

    Such a reader is convinced he knows better

    because he is better.

    His unspoken aim is not to understand reality

    but to explain it in such a way

    as to prove his moral and intellectual superiority;

    and to prove it to others

    in order to convince himself.

    #

    MEIN KAMPF

    *********************************

    All my efforts are now concentrated

    on being readable. As for saving the nation:

    I leave that to our bosses, bishops, benefactors

    and dime-a-dozen superpatriots

    with messianic ambitions.

    *

    ON SERMONIZERS AND SPEECHIFIERS

    **********************************************

    One way to define them is to say

    they are men who know what must be said

    but consistently and unanimously avoid

    doing what must be done.

    *

    RIGHT AND WRONG

    ************************************

    It is not enough to say we did nothing wrong.

    Did we do anything right?

    Even more to the point:

    Can we even tell right from wrong?

    *

    OUR SHISH-KEBAB PARTIES

    **************************************

    Members of the Tea Party in America

    are the offspring of individuals

    who in the second half of the 19th century

    fought a bloody civil war –

    some say the bloodiest in history –

    in defense of slavery.

    They remind me of our

    bosses, bishops, and benefactors

    who, to save the nation, they divide it.

    *

    WORDS OF WISDOM

    ********************************

    There is an old Armenian saying:

    “He is so smart he even knows

    where the devil sleeps.”

    The devil, my friends, sleeps where he resides

    and he resides in our hearts.

    *

    TELL ME

    ************************

    Am I saying anything

    you don’t already know?

    #

  20. THE BOTTOM LINE

    ****************************************

    Our problems were thrust on us by others. We reject their solutions on our own.

    *

    Only the rotten succeed in a corrupt environment.

    *

    The greater the political control of schools, libraries, newspapers, community centers and churches, the greater the number of yes-men and dupes.

    *

    The challenge is to speak of serious things without taking oneself seriously; to be critical of others and even more critical of ourselves.

    *

    In a totalitarian environment to say your ambition is to succeed as a writer is like saying as a virgin it is your ambition to be a bordello madam.

    *

    When wolves are in charge, sheep will be useful only as lunch.

    #

    ORWELL SPEAKS

    ********************************

    In one of his essays

    George Orwell speaks of

    “the corrosive digestive juices

    of the British imperial leviathan.”

    You may now have a better understanding

    of the depths of our own degradation.

    *

    Elsewhere he speaks of

    “the smelly little orthodoxies

    contending for our souls.”

    #

    FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

    ******************************************

    There is an old saying:

    “When you’re down, the only way is up.”

    Like all rules this one too has its exceptions:

    Armenians.

    *

    The Greek jury that condemned Socrates to death;

    the men who crucified Christ;

    the solitary Hindu who assassinated Gandhi:

    they all shared one thing in common:

    they were brainwashed to believe

    the gods, truth, and historic necessity were on their side.

    *

    If you brainwash children to believe

    in the myth of the Holy Trinity,

    they will be inclined to believe in many other trinities

    like liberté, fraternité, egalité;

    thesis, anti-thesis, synthesis;

    Marx, Engels, Lenin…

    *

    A nation that hates together stays together.

    *

    Judge a tree by its fruit and a propaganda line

    by the number of its victims.

    *

    I quote to enhance my credibility.

    What the hell does an Armenian scribbler know?

    An odar author, that’s different.

    Prof. Hamalian on Zarian,

    after reading my translations:

    “He writes like one of my bright students.”

    *

    Academics: they all proceed from the assumption

    that they know better.

    Question: With over a thousand Armenian academics

    in America alone, why is it that our collective existence

    is in such a mess?

    #

    I COULD BE WRONG

    ***************************************

    Certainties are the source of all evil.

    But I could be wrong…

    *

    Has anyone ever said

    I could be wrong

    but let’s divide the community anyway?

    Or, I could be wrong

    but let’s go to war …

    *

    To some a belief system is nothing

    but a source of income and power.

    *

    Where there are idols

    there are idol-makers.

    Where there are dupes

    there are deceivers.

    I think it was Luther who said:

    “The God of Christians (meaning Catholics)

    is an idol.”

    *

    What is patriotism?

    In theory, love of God and Country.

    In practice, to brainwash children

    and manipulate adults.

    *

    We should teach our children to say

    “I could be wrong.”

    *

    Socrates was condemned to death

    because he spoke in defense of doubt and uncertainty.

    “Of the gods,” said he, “we know nothing!”

    #

  21. FREEDOM

    *************************

    Everyone speaks of freedom of religion

    as if it were a good thing,

    a mark of progress and civilization.

    What if what will civilize the world

    is not freedom of religion

    but freedom of dissent and heresy?

    But as long as rabbis, bishops and imams

    are allowed the freedom

    to poison the minds of children

    we will have wars and massacres.

    *

    Why is this so difficult to understand?

    Empires decline and fall

    not when its prostitutes, pimps,

    thieves and degenerates prosper

    but when its spiritually superior individuals

    (self-assessed of course) assume leadership positions.

    *

    Moral I: Freedom of religion is freedom to enslave.

    *

    Moral II: Freedom to brainwash children

    is a crime against humanity.

    #

    JAGADAKIR

    **************************************

    We have a school of thought that says

    Christianity was a bad choice for us.

    We should have converted to Islam.

    The unmistakable implication being,

    since we cannot change the past,

    we cannot change our present and future.

    What’s done is done and it cannot be undone.

    It is our jagadakir (destiny) therefore

    to remain perennial losers.

    Let us therefore, in legal parlance,

    drop our pants and bend over to whoever is on top –

    be he a shah, pasha, padishah, sultan or commissar.

    *

    But I maintain our problem is not our choice of religion.

    Our problem is ignorance of the world,

    divisiveness, corruption, incompetence, treason,

    and intolerance of any idea

    that may shatter our image as la crème de la crème

    and expose us as la crème de la scum.

    #

    IN BRIEF

    ************************

    On our present situation:

    Losers at the mercy of other losers.

    *

    SWINE

    ******************

    The 1% are cold-blooded swine

    who think they will not burn in hell

    because hell is their own invention.

    *

    KNOWN UNKNOWNS

    ************************************

    We know that Sultan Abdulhamid II’s mother

    was Armenian. We also know that Talaat himself

    was probably part-Armenian.

    What we don’t know is

    how many of our own present leaders are Turks.

    *

    INTERNET

    ***************************

    Is the Internet making us smarter or dumber?

    I don’t know. All I know is that

    if an ape uses it he will not be born-again

    as a human being.

    *

    ON ASSAD

    **********************

    Tina Brown on Bashar-al-Assad:

    “A creepy, lisping, giraffe-necked liar.”

    *

    LOLITA

    **********************

    I don’t read and reread LOLITA

    to be enlightened or instructed.

    I read it because it is compulsively readable –

    from the first (“fire of my loins”)

    to the last sentence.

    #

    NOTES & COMMENTS

    **************************************

    There is a general in every solider

    (according to Napoleon),

    a pope in every seminarian,

    a master in every slave,

    a capitalist in every proletarian,

    and (according to a schoolteacher)

    a Turk in every Armenian.

    *

    Nothing disarms a man

    with a highly developed spirit of contradiction

    than agreement.

    *

    We read so many obituaries

    and hear of so many deaths when we are alive

    that we end up thinking of ourselves

    almost as immortal.

    #

  22. WHY WRITERS WRITE

    *******************

    When asked why he writes, a writer is quoted as having replied: "So that idiots may have something to think about in twenty years."

    *

    The problem with most Armenian writers is that

    they want to achieve popularity

    long before they are murdered by a foreign tyrant

    or starved by their fellow Armenians.

    *

    Am I right or wrong?

    I am not sure. But I know this:

    if I am wrong, my voice will be drowned

    by a chorus of loud-mouth chauvinists, charlatans,

    partisans, skinheads, and panchoonies,

    none of whom will ever dare to question the authority

    of any one of our bosses, bishops, and benefactors.

    *

    If all Turks vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow,

    Armenians wouldn't miss them because an Armenian friend

    wouldn't be much different from a Turkish enemy.

    *

    Charles Péguy: "Out of ignorance and a sense of duty

    most decent people are liable to turn into criminals."

    *

    You can't talk ethics with a bishop:

    he thinks he has a monopoly on the subject.

    You can't talk sharing power with a boss:

    he thinks he is the best-qualified man for the job.

    You can't talk money with a benefactor:

    he won't listen to anyone who makes less than he does.

    *

    Scottish proverb: "The devil's boots don't creak."

    *

    All persecuted minorities and victims tend to view freedom

    as the freedom to persecute and victimize.

    *

    La Rochefoucauld: "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does."

    *

    "I paint with my prick," Renoir is quoted as having said.

    Some of my readers think with theirs.

    #

  23. INSPIRATION

    **********

    The eternal snow of Mt. Ararat .

    Nightingales serenading the moon.

    I leave these things to our versifiers.

    The written word is my main source of inspiration.

    When I agree with something,

    I compose a variation.

    When I disagree,

    I improvise a contradiction.

    When I read an irresistible passage,

    I quote it.

    I love to quote.

    i love to read books of quotations.

    So much so that I have myself compiled two of them:

    one published (A DICITIONARY OF ARMENIAN QUOTATIONS),

    the other (much more extensive) in manuscript form.

    *

    As for originality:

    How much of Plato is Socrates?

    How much Socrates owes to the pre-Socratics

    most of whose works have survived, if at all, in fragments.

    *

    It was Hemingway who once said:

    “Minor writers plagiarize. Major writers steal.”

    And sure enough, at one time or another all major writers

    have been accused of being plagiarists –

    Sartre, Garcia Marquez, Toynbee, Zarian...

    *

    Toynbee once described himself as someone

    who moves old furniture around.

    Garcia Marquez’s style has been traced back

    to the 1001 ARABIAN NIGHTS and Faulkner.

    An American academic, Stern by name

    (that’s the only thing I remember about him)

    once wrote a book in which he traced all of Sartre’s ideas

    to predecessors.

    It was Oshagan who accused Zarian.

    Need i say more?....

    #

    TWO GERMAN PHILOSOPHERS

    **********

    On Nietzsche:

    When asked what he thought of Nietzsche,

    Jules Renard is said to have replied:

    "There are too many useless letters in his name."

    *

    On Heidegger:

    The son-of-a-bitch was a Nazi

    who fell in love with one of his students

    who happened to be a Jewess.

    *

    LOATHSOME IMBECILES

    **********

    In his THE ITALIANS, Luigi Barzini writes:

    "There comes a day in every man's life

    when he realizes his leaders are loathsome imbeciles."

    *

    COUNTER-PROPAGANDA

    **********

    I repeat myself because I write counter-propaganda.

    If propaganda repeats itself, what choice do I have?

    #

  24. ORSON WELLES SPEAKS

    ************************************

    He hated the Irish, beginning with Spencer Tracy.

    In his recently published CONVERSATIONS he explains:

    “Seven hundred years of bitter oppression

    changed their character, gave them

    that passive meanness and cunning.”

    *

    By contrast, he loved Hungarians:

    “I love Hungarians to the point of sex!

    I almost get a hard-on when I hear a Hungarian accent;

    I am so crazy about them.”

    *

    On Israelis: “The only time they make good music

    is when Zubin Mehta, a Hindu, comes to conduct.”

    *

    On Coppola: “THE GODFATHER is the glorification

    of a bunch of bums who never existed.”

    *

    More to follow….

    #

    ORSON WELLES SPEAKS (II)

    ******************************************

    On intellectuals:

    “They are the biggest pushovers.

    They love power.

    They cluster around whatever golden boy,

    or man, is in power and begin to justify it.”

    *

    On writers:

    “I don’t like Dostoevsky.

    Tolstoy is my writer.

    Gogol is my writer.

    I’m not a Joyce guy…”

    *

    On women:

    “They are another race.

    You can’t tell them the truth.

    You have to lie.”

    *

    On Russians:

    “They have terrible taste.

    They are a people of genius;

    and they are very literal.

    They are ‘machine-made.’

    Poor people.”

    *

    On American journalists: ‘

    “Cocksuckers with typewriters.”

    *

    On Laurence Olivier:

    “He was so in love with his own image

    it was terribly hard for him

    to resist going down on himself.”

    #

    ONCE BRAINWASHED

    ALWAYS BRAINWASHED

    *********************************************

    That’s the only way to explain why so far

    Christians have failed to convert Muslims

    and vice versa.

    *

    Both bishops and imams agree that

    when it comes to brainwashing

    children are more receptive candidates;

    and what’s even more outrageous,

    they call it education.

    *

    The overwhelming majority of people

    are born, live, and die as dupes.

    *

    I judge the importance of a book

    by the number of prejudices and preconceptions

    it exposes and shatters beyond repair.

    *

    An honest Christian will be honest

    only in the eyes of his co-religionists.

    An honest infidel or hetanos is an oxymoron.

    *

    An Armenian has no use for writers.

    He is a man of action who understands everything

    and knows nothing – or is it the other way around?

    #

  25. CONFESSION (XXII)

    *************************

    Since I have no political ambitions

    I don’t mind admitting that

    I have been wrong most of my life

    and I am probably wrong today.

    If to be right means to kill someone

    I’d much rather be wrong.

    *

    My favorite illusion:

    As human being most people are equipped

    to see the light of reason.

    *

    Addicts of the blame-game

    refuse to believe that we have played a key role

    in our history and we continue to do so today.

    *

    Anonymous: “History does not repeat itself,

    but it rhymes.”

    #

    WORSE THAN A CRIME

    *************************************

    A friend of mine once wrote a book

    titled AS OTHERS SEE US

    but was careful to quote and discuss

    mostly friendly witnesses.

    *

    I committed a worse blunder:

    I wrote a book on Armenian history

    from which I excluded anything

    that may be remotely classified as negative;

    and what’s even more repellent to me now,

    I never thought of what I was writing

    as propaganda. Like all idiots and dupes

    I believed it was my patriotic duty

    to treat my readers as idiots and dupes.

    *

    Assad’s crime we are told is using poison gas

    to kill his own people.

    What we are not told is that

    his blunder consisted in having made no effort

    to reconcile and unite his fragmented nation.

    *

    I think it was Talleyrand who once said to Napoleon:

    “It was worse than a crime, Sire, it was a blunder.”

    #

    ON TEXTBOOKS

    *********************************

    There is one past but there are

    ten thousand historians.

    *

    ON THE STUDY OF HISTORY

    *********************************

    There are two basic approaches to the study of history:

    objective and hysterical.

    *

    FROM AN OBJECTIVE STUDY

    OF ARMENIAN HISTORY

    ***********************************

    We were divided by Turks;

    we were divided by Bolsheviks;

    and we are now being divided by our own

    Ottomanized, Stalinized, and moronized bureaucraps (sic).

    *

    FROM A TEXTBOOK

    ON POLITICAL SCIENCE AND DIPLOMACY

    **************************************************

    Never fight your enemies if you can divide them.

    Remember the Armenians.

    *

    FROM A TEXTBOOK

    ON BRAINWASHING

    *******************************

    After you moronize them

    you can even convince them to be

    just about the smartest people on earth.

    #

    DISAGREEMENTS

    *********************************

    Many readers disagree with me.

    That does not surprise me in the least.

    In human affairs disagreement is the rule

    rather than the exception.

    *

    Lawyers and politicians disagree all the time;

    so do bishops and imams; and in our case

    bishops (Etchmiadznagan) and bishops (Anteliassagan).

    *

    More often than not however,

    disagreements are rooted not in ideas

    but in sources of income, or power and prestige.

    We live in a world where ideas have become

    as relevant as the song of a non-existent bird

    in an imaginary forest.

    *

    Speaking of our ruling classes,

    and more specifically our neo-commissars

    and crypto-Panchoonies: they have discovered

    a new way of dealing with their critics:

    they refuse to acknowledge their existence;

    and it seems to work provided of course

    you ignore the high assimilation rate in the Diaspora

    and the exodus in the Homeland.

    Criticizing them might as well be an exercise in futility;

    and exposing their would be like trying to kill a man

    who is committing suicide.

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