JazzVaz Posted August 18, 2004 Report Share Posted August 18, 2004 Для терпеливых (типа, длинновато)... 1.Taoism: Shit happens. 2.Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." 3.Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. 4.Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. 5.Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? 6.Hinduism: This shit has happened before. 7.Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. 8.Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible -edit- or allot of innocents -edit-. 9.Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. 10.Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. 11.Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. 12.Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. 13.Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. 14.Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. 15.Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. 16.Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. 17.Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. 18.Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) 19.Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. 20.Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. 21.Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? 22.Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. 23.Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. 24.Creationism: God made all shit. 25.Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. 26.Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! 27.Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. 28.Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. 29.Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. 30.Utopianism: This shit does not stink. 31.Darwinism: This shit was once food. 32.Capitalism: That's MY shit. 33.Communism: It's everybody's shit. 34.Feminism: Men are shit. 35.Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... 36.Commercialism: Let's package this shit. 37.Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. 38.Idolism: Let's bronze this shit. 39.Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. 40.Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway? 41.Stoicism: This shit is good for me. 42.Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! 43.Mormonism: God sent us this shit. 44.Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again. 45.Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. 46.Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. 47.Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens. 48.Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit? 49.Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. 50.Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. 51.Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. 52.Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! 53.Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time. 54.Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. 55.Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. 56.Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. 57.Agnostic #2: Did someone shit? 58.Agnostic #3: What is this shit? 59.Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. 60.Atheism: What shit? 61.Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit! 62.Nihilism: No shit. .................................................. ...................................... Capitalism: When shit happens, it'll cost you! Altruism: Let me give you my shit. Environmentalism: Shit happens, but it's biodegradable. Evolution: Shit is getting better all the time. scientology: If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you. Dianetics: Even shit can make money. Guruism: The master's shit does not stink. Egoism: I AM the shit! Optimism: That shit won't happen to me. Paranoia: Shit happens because it's a plot. Totalitarianism: Shit doesn't happen unless we say so. Vandalism: I'm gonna wreck this shit! Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you. Witchcraft: Mix this shit together and it will happen! new age: For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit. Transexualism: But I'm The Wrong Kind Of Shit. Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. Capitalism: Let's package this shit. Exhibitionism: I Love To Show My Shit .................................................. ..................... Voyeurism: I wanna see that shit. Taliban: Tall buildings are shit. Science: We must examine this shit. Science: It must have been a big bang that started this shit. Stoicism: Shit happens ?... So what? Evangelism: We got the best shit. Republicanism: You have to earn your shit. Hedonism: This shit is fun! New Age: Before you shit on the grass, ask its permission first. Kama sutra: F*ck this shit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rouna Posted August 18, 2004 Report Share Posted August 18, 2004 "Kama sutra: F*ck this shit. " - Qo mot arden dardzav "kama-akama - ham s utra, ham s vechera!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JazzVaz Posted August 18, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2004 u know english jokes are to vulgar... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
izza Posted August 19, 2004 Report Share Posted August 19, 2004 "Kama sutra: F*ck this shit. " - Qo mot arden dardzav "kama-akama - ham s utra, ham s vechera!" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.