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April 1, 2010

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READING PEGUY

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“Out of ignorance and a sense of duty most decent people are liable to turn into criminals.”

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Charles Péguy (1873-1914) is closer to my heart than any other writer you care to mention. Unlike Toynbee and Sartre, he is as accessible to the ordinary reader as, say, Chekhov. Like Chekhov, he was an honest man and he said what he thought. Organized religions have their saints. Literature does not. If it did, I would name Peggy as one of the greatest.

Has he been translated into Armenian? I don't know. I doubt it. I don't think so. Probably because he was quintessentially un-Armenian. We are not brought up to appreciate honesty and straight talk. After centuries of subservience to brutal regimes, we have learned to be cautious and calculating in our speech – a diplomatic way of saying, we are born liars.

Enough by way of introduction and warning. Let Peggy speak for himself:

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“It is vulgar to want to be right and still more so to want to be in the right against someone else.”

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“The man who doesn't bawl out the truth when he knows the truth becomes the accomplice of liars.”

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“When people become established they become intelligent.”

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“Let them leave us to our work. But if they disturb us, then we shall see to it that we shall not have been uselessly interrupted.”

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“The life of the decent man must in some ways be one of continual apostasy; he must continually be a renegade and in this sense his life is one continual unfaithfulness.”

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“Destitution is not a pumice stone by which people can be polished and made to shine. If it were it would be worth preserving. Destitution weakens people and thereby makes them incapable of getting out of it. Destitution not only makes people unhappy, which is a serious matter, it makes them bad, ugly and weak, which is also a serious matter.”

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“Tyranny is always better organized than freedom.”

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“One does not have the right to betray even a traitor. Traitors must be fought and not betrayed.”

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“What is most contrary to salvation is not sin but habit.”

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“Charity is no substitute for justice withheld.”

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Once, I remember, when I said as much to one of our Panchoonies who headed one of our major charity organizations, he explained: “If we assume a critical stance towards the regime in Yerevan, we will not be allowed to help the people.” To which I could only say: “You mean, they would allow the people to starve? If you know them to be so evil, why legitimize them with your support?” At this point he hung up on me and thus I acquired still another enemy in high places.

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April 2, 2010

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READING ZOHRAB

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“Oppression corrupts everything it touches, even the highest moral principles.”

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“We all of us condemn prostitution; yet, how many of us engage in it! Lawyers who perjure themselves for a few pieces of silver; ghazetajis who sell their conscience to vested interests; physicians who prolong a useless treatment; young men who marry wealth. In what way, may I ask, are these individuals different from common whores?”

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“My code of ethics: Between the real and the imaginary, choose the real; between truth and falsehood, choose truth – at all times, everywhere.”

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“A newspaper is not a chameleon. It should not change colors to please its readers. It is bound to make enemies. I would measure the moral success of a newspaper by its willingness to make enemies.”

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“In the same way that nature abhors a vacuum, literature abhors the absence of ideas.”

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“As impressionable as soft wax, the Armenian acquires indiscriminately the virtues as well as the vices of the country in which he happens to be living.”

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Which may explain why Armenians from the Levant are more Levantine than Armenian, and Armenians from the former Soviet Union are more Soviet and less Armenian. Hence Sylva Kapoutikian's boast (and this after the collapse of the USSR) “I am proud to have been a member of the Communist Party!” -- the very same party that slaughtered two generations of our best intellects and awarded her the Stalin Prize.

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Krikor Zohrab (1861-1915) was a victim of the Genocide. Has anything changed since then? Or rather, what have we learned from the Genocide? Are we not at the mercy of lying whores who will sell not only their bodies but also their souls to anyone for a few pieces of silver?

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If we “dzour nesdink, shidag khossink,” we shall have to admit that “mart bidi ch'ellank!”

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April 3, 2010

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Q/A

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Q: What makes an Armenian happy?

A: To crap on a fellow Armenian, what else?

Q: Isn't that what you have been doing too?

A: If I do it's only on brainwashed dupes who consider crapping to be their patriotic duty.

Q: Do you think you are always right?

A: Hell no! On the contrary. Everything I say may well be wrong. I don't know the truth. Only God does. All I ever hope to do is expose lies and in doing so to take a tiny step in the direction of truth which I may never reach in this lifetime.

Q: If you have such a low opinion of Armenians, why do you continue to identify yourself as one?

A: I identify myself as a human being. I consider my national identity an accident of nature. I don't see any inconsistency here perhaps because after being dehumanized by our propaganda I am now a born-again human being and as such I believe all men are brothers, which happens to be an assertion we make every time when we repeat the Lord's prayer -- “Our Father Who art in heaven...”

Q: No one denies that we have problems. But isn't it a fact that all men and all nations have problems similar to ours?

A: They do, yes. But that doesn't mean the best way to deal with them is to cover them up or to ignore them on the grounds that time or the Almighty will solve them for us. Time has never been on our side. After a thousand years of subservience to tyrants we were rewarded with a series of massacres. Am I saying something or anything that has not been said before by far better men than myself? Of course not! I will go further and say, everything I say is either a quotation or a paraphrase. I have at no time hidden that fact from my readers. I quote as a challenge to those who accuse me of of being anti-Armenian or even pro-Turkish. On the subject of Armenians crapping on fellow Armenians: I am reminded of a passage in Zarian's TRAVELLER AND HIS ROAD, in which, speaking of the new generation of Soviet-Armenian writers, among them Charents (who at first swallowed Kremlin's propaganda hook, line, and sinker), Zarian wrote: “They are spitting on Raffi. They are spitting on Derian. They are spitting on Aharonian. Danger! Danger! Danger!” Armenian worldview at the time Zarian wrote these lines was shaped by Lenin's and Stalin's commissars. Our worldview today is shaped by Jack S. Avanakian charlatans and arav-pakhav mi-kich-pogh Panchoonies who have been more than successful in raising a wall between us and reality by saying all we need to solve our problems is more money. As for ideas: they are empty verbiage and irrelevant commodities. Which may suggest, the more things change, the deeper we sink in our own merde.

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If we “dzour nesdink, shidag khossink,” we shall have to admit that “mart bidi ch'ellank!”
etc.

Ara Baliozian's self-hatred is astonishing!

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April 4, 2010

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LAMENTATION

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“You are consistently negative,” I am told again and again by the very same readers who are the cause of my negativism.

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We speak as though our problems need solutions.

We speak as though generations of our writers lived, worked, and died in some other dimension inaccessible to us.

Poor Armenian people!

Poor Armenian writers!

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Poor Armenian writers.

After we bury them, we re-bury them again and again whenever we ignore their works.

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We have been so thoroughly dehumanized that ideas mean nothing to us.

Money, yes!

Ideas?

Who gives a damn?

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Jesus died for our sins, we are told.

Generations of Armenian writers died to save us but we continue to wallow in ignorance, apathy, materialism, envy, intolerance, and arrogance.

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I work for nothing.

I write for readers who know better.

Writing for Armenians is akin to mating with a shark.

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We speak of nationalism because we have been de-nationalized as thoroughly as we have been dehumanized.

Our own backyard comes first.

As for the nation – who gives a damn?

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Oppressors don't want the oppressed to have ideas. What they want is subservience. In their eyes, freedom is a dangerous commodity. As for ideas...in Napoleon's words: “A man with an idea is my enemy.”

It is the same with our bosses: all they want from us is subservience.

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After the Sultan, Talaat.

After Talaat, Stalin.

After Stalin, our bosses and their assorted hirelings of Jack S. Avanakians and “mi kich pogh” Comrade Panchoonies, and communities whose favorite words are “Yes, sir!”

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Even when we speak of others, we speak of ourselves. Think twice before you say another word on Turks.

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April 4, 2010

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FROM DUST TO DUST

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Confucius: “Let us leave the spirits aside, until we know how best to serve men.”

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Our parish priest (Anteliassagan) refused to bless my mother's grave on the grounds that she had been cremated. “We don't believe in cremation,” said he.

I wonder, was he trying to obstruct her path to heaven?

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According to N.T. Wright, a contemporary theologian: “People are so preoccupied about who gets into heaven that they forget that much of the New Testament is about how we conduct our lives in the here and now.”

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They lead us like sheep not to green pastures but to a den of wolves.

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What makes me to repeat myself is not senility but the conviction that a truth should be repeated as often as the lies of our Jack S. Avanakians and “mi kich pogh” Panchoonies.

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More quotations from Confucius:

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“Respect spiritual beings but keep them at a distance.”

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“Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.”

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“The path to duty lies in what is near and men seek for it in what is remote. The work of duty lies in what is easy and men seek for it in what is difficult.”

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“When you see a good man, think of emulating him; when you see a bad man, examine your own heart.”

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April 5, 2010

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READING RAFFI

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We sent Khrimian Hairik to Berlin, and Sylva Kaputikian to Moscow.

Diplomats and revolutionaries: where are they when we need them most?

Raffi's answer:

“We are like sheep without a shepherd...We don't have an aristocracy. We have neither elites nor leaders. What we have are merchants and clergymen [and vodanavorjis, he could have added]. Merchants are trash. As for the clergy: they have always been against individual freedom.”

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“Where there is oppression, there is cowardice, ignorance, and sloth. A man needs freedom to discover the benefits of freedom.”

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“What's done is done. What we must do now is assess the damage and figure out how to avoid the next catastrophe.”

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“War, bloodshed, massacre: they will be with us so long as the principle of Might is Right prevails.”

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“The prevalent mentality among us is, every man for himself. As long as I can take care of myself, why should I give a damn about anyone else?”

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“Those who are in charge of our destiny are themselves a gang of criminals. What are our options? Who can help us? Not even God, it seems, perhaps because we have too many sins on our conscience.”

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“Our capitalists are the most corrupt and degenerate members of the community. Nothing good can come from them. They are men without a country. They worship only money. Profit is their only homeland.”

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In what way are our national benefactors different from Raffi's capitalists if they allow their flunkeys to behave like commissars of culture and to subsidize ghazetajis whose obsession with Turks far exceeds their concern for fellow Armenians? And what about our fornicating bishops and bosses who so far have delivered nothing but empty verbiage? Has anything changed during the last 150 years? Once upon a time we were slaves. We are now slaves of former slaves.

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Here is Raffi again:

“No power on earth can deprive you of your freedom. No one can enslave you if you refuse to be enslaved. Where there is slavery there are also men willing to assume a passive stance. Oppressors know this and they count on it.”

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April 6, 2010

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PATRIOTISM

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Nationalists begin by asserting a superior brand of patriotism and end by committing massacres.

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All genocides are committed in the name of nationalism, and sooner or later all nationalists are exposed as fascists.

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I have yet to meet an Armenian who thought his own brand of patriotism to be inferior to someone else's.

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If I have been silenced, it's because our fascist editors and publishers have been successful in convincing their readers that I am an enemy not of fascism but of the people and the fatherland.

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They accuse me of emphasizing the negative, whereas they are in the business emphasizing the positive; and emphasizing the negative means “corrupting the young” and “undermining the authority of the gods,” which happen to be the charges leveled against Socrates and against all dissidents in general.

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To be a dupe of propaganda means supporting fascists whose ultimate aim is the destruction of the state, or so history or reality tells us.

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Patriotism is a mask that hides killers, and killers not only of the enemy but also of their fellow countrymen.

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Patriotism appeals to the emotions, and “emotions are judgments opposed to those arrived at by reason” (Epicurus).

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There is nothing new under the sun. What I have been saying was said by Greeks more than two thousand years ago.

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April 7, 2010

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WHY MEN DISAGREE

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If we disagree, it may be because we speak in the name of Reality (whose complexities are infinite), Truth (which is accessible only to God) or God (Whom we are not equipped to know or understand).

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When we speak, we select and emphasize a single aspect of Reality that has an infinite number of them.

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Speaking and writing consists in selecting and emphasizing a perspective or point of view which proves a pet theory or justifies our interests. Which is why I trust more a man who speaks against himself.

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Our brains' ability to perceive Reality is limited. Scientists tell us space is not infinite. Which means at a certain point it ends. But our brain cannot perceive or imagine what it is that stands between space and non-space, or between existence and nothingness.

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No subject has created more disagreements, intolerance, persecutions, wars, and massacres than God, Who, we are told, is love mercy and compassion.

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Man hates in the name of love and sees no contradiction in it. Figure that one out, if you can.

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We are, or rather our history is, a succession of contradictions which we can only pretend to resolve and understand.

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Our belief systems are houses of cards in a storm. To say “I believe” is to assert faith in the incomprehensible and the inconceivable.

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When I say “Let us pray,” I express a desire to direct my words to a Being who has consistently ignored the voices of those who need Him the most – the enslaved, the downtrodden, the starving, the dying, and the innocent victims of massacres.

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“Our Father Who art in heaven”? Any father who would witness the rape and murder of his young daughter when he was in a position to stop it, would be in jail for aiding and abetting a man guilty of a capital offense.

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May God (if He cares to hear me) have mercy on my soul (if I have one).

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April 8, 2010

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READING ZARIAN

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Or rather, “re-reading” him, because so far all I have been doing is either quote or paraphrase him.

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G.B. Shaw once said that even after he had solved all of mankind's problems people kept asking for solutions. Something very similar could be said of Zarian and our problems. It can be said that Zarian is to Armenians what the Old Testament is to Jews, and what the New Testament is to Christians.

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“What matters in life is not a multiplicity of ideas but a certain quality of attitude, action, responsibility, and commitment.”

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“Morality is not the same as religion.”

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“We don't have critics. Not in the true sense of the word. What we have are semi-educated meddlers with derivative criteria gathered from here and there – amateurs who have made of criticism an arid field of dismal mediocrity.”

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“An Armenian's tongue can be sharper than a Turk's yataghan.”

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“What are we but a handful of persecuted and displaced people at the mercy of the wind. Like dust we cling to stones on dirt roads and assume their shapes – grateful whenever we fall on a vegetable planted by others.”

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“Our communities in the Diaspora are dominated by shopkeepers, pseudo-intellectuals, and priests. A miscellaneous crew of rascals with fat bellies and swollen egos. There you have the nucleus around which our collective existence revolves. This indeed ought to be the central issue of our literature today.”

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“Our devils come in many disguises. In our own days they appear as clergymen, activists, hired scribblers, schoolmasters. They have beady eyes, loose lower lips, deep voices, and mangled features. They are termites, toads, and sometimes vipers. Pretense, envy, treachery...”

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“We survive by cannibalizing one another.”

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“Writing for Armenians is a waste of time. We are in a vegetative state. We are interested only in matters dealing with our survival. We carry our identity like a heavy weight on our shoulders. If I write, it must be in either French or English.”

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“The Armenian nation is like a family whose members devour each other because of conflicting interests. And because they are absorbed in personal feuds, they are blind to spiritual greatness. For the average Armenian, Armenia is nothing but a piece of real estate.”

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I could go on quoting Zarian for many more pages, but I will stop here on the grounds that “No banquet under heaven is endless.”

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I may stop quoting him now but I will go on paraphrasing him in future installments.

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April 9, 2010

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SUMMING UP

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By quoting others my aim is to point out the fact that the difference between my critics and me is that I rely on thinkers and they recycle the slogans and clichés of Panchoonies and Jack S. Avanakians. As for new or original ideas: there are none. They don't exist. Marx was against exploiters. So was our Lord when two thousand years ago he spoke about camels and the eye of a needle.

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I am against dividers because I believe “all men are brothers” (and I don't mean like Cain and Abel); and when I say “all men” I include Turks. It is a mistake to think of Turks as Turks. I doubt if there is a single Turk alive today. Turks are a mixture of Greeks, Albanians, Macedonians, Bulgarians, Assyrians, Iranians, Arabs, Jews, and Armenians, among others. Something similar could be said of Armenians. As for Armenians who claim the Bagratunis and Mamikonians as their ancestors: Bagratunis identified themselves as Jews, and Khorenatsi identified the Mamikonians as Chinese. Speaking for myself: I have at no time hidden the fact that, on a good day, I can trace my ancestry all the way back to my father.

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To hate Turks is to hate the wrong enemy. If we are going to hate, let's begin with fascists, beginning with our own.

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“History of Armenian diplomacy” -- if one of our academics were to produce a monograph on the subject, with separate chapters on Zohrab in Constantinople, Khrimian in Berlin, Mikoyan in Yerevan, and Sylva Kaputikian in Moscow – the subtitle will probably read, “Anatomy of Incompetence and Treason.”

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My critics accuse me of being anti-Armenian and of projecting my self-hatred on the nation, thus implying there is nothing wrong with us. So much so that, we might as well be a role model to all other nations. To which I can only say, “Self-satisfied bug*ers!”

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It has been said “nothing fails like success.” If the opposite were true (“nothing succeeds like failure”) we should be on our way to being one of the greatest nations on earth. Now then, I dare anyone to call me a pessimist!

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April 10, 2010

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ONE OUT OF TEN THOUSAND

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Whenever asked for solutions, I offer a single word, “honesty.” And when asked to define honesty, I say nothing on the grounds that anyone who cannot recognize an honest man when he sees one deserves to be taken in by crooks.

We are responsible for our actions as surely as we are for our thoughts and attitudes; and life, as well as the law, do not allow us to plead not guilty by reason of ignorance.

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For many centuries men were deceived into thinking kings ruled by the will of God; and after abolishing monarchy they consented to be ruled by even more dangerous charlatans. As a result, many more millions died in wars, massacres, and genocides.

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Who is more guilty – the deceiver or he who consents to be deceived?

Mutual deception may be said to be at the root of all tragedies.

God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden, where He not only planted the Tree of Knowledge but also introduced the Serpent. In legal parlance, entrapment; in layman's terms, deception.

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We were deceived into thinking the Empire would not strike back because the Great Powers were on our side.

Hitler deceived his people into believing they belonged to a superior race and were therefore qualified, nay destined, to rule the world.

Stalin deceived the people into believing the economic foundations of capitalism were rotten and the future belonged to Bolsheviks.

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And consider what happens in HAMLET: Claudius deceives the people into thinking he is not a murderer and a usurper but the legitimate king of the land. Whereupon his nephew plots his revenge by deceiving the court into believing he is mad.

Who can forget the magnificent exchange between the usurper's senile minister of state and the “mad” prince?

POLONIUS: Do you know me my lord?

HAMELT: Excellent well, you are a fishmonger.

POLONIUS: Not I my lord.

HAMLET: Then I would you were so honest a man,

POLONIUS: Honest, my lord?

HAMLET: Ay sir; to be honest as this world goes is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.

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April 11, 2010

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ON POPULARITY

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It is an honest man's duty to expose the dishonest because not to do so amounts to legitimizing dishonesty and ignoring their victims. And because the dishonest outnumber the honest, an honest man is bound to be unpopular.

My guess is, the Beatles made more money in a single day than Mozart in a lifetime.

Popularity is for the birds and the likes of Elvis Pelvis.

Whenever I make myself unpopular with a reader, I think “mission accomplished.”

Can you name a single Armenian writer who was popular?

Naregatsi? Abovian? Baronian?

The first led an anonymous existence in a monastery.

The second committed suicide at the age of 43.

The third was betrayed to the authorities, driven out of business (as publisher) and died of TB at the age of 49.

And they were the lucky ones.

Charents and Bakunts were worse off.

The first was betrayed, arrested, and committed suicide in a Yerevan jail at the age of 40.

The second was betrayed, arrested, tortured, and shot and the age of 38.

First nation to convert to Christianity?

Maybe, but in name only.

Intelligent, progressive, civilized?

Don't make me laugh.

Philistinized, Ottomanized, Sovietized (which also means converted to atheism)?

That's more like it

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The Polish nation is in mourning today.

If what happened to them happened to us, I have every reason to suspect we would be celebrating.

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When the truth is unbearable or unreachable, we lie.

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April 12, 2010

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MUMBO JUMBO

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Some words are untranslatable. Case in point: in Armenian we have a word for “house,” but not one for “home.” There is a popular and widely quoted poem in English that says, “Every house ain't a home,” and “It takes a heap of living to make a house a home.” Translate that, if you can.

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Man does not understand man (including himself) and yet, theologians pretend to understand and explain God to us. We can't understand God for the simple reason that God and man do not share the same dictionary. Man may need dictionaries. God doesn't.

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God created man, and man created words, and the twain shall never meet. That's why everything we say about God is irrational, absurd, and blasphemous in the eyes of other men.

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When we say “God is love,” or “God is our Father,” we in a sense make an attempt to bring Him down to our own level of understanding, and in this effort we fail miserably. Hence countless orthodoxies, heresies, religious wars, and massacres. It is no exaggeration to say that more people have died in the name of God than any other concept, including the Devil. Figure that one out if you can.

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The Tower of Babel, like Reincarnation, is not a single occurrence but a constant and ceaseless process.

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For millions of years, primitive man thought of God as the Unknown and the Unknowable; the source of all good as well as evil. Traces of this belief may be found today in all organized religions, including our own – as when we say in the Lord's prayer, “Do not lead us into temptation,” thus identifying God with the Devil whose business it is to lead man into temptation.

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God may be many things but he is not and cannot be a contradiction. Some day we may see and understand this very clearly but not as long as we speak of Him as if He were a superior version of ourselves.

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When we say God knows everything, do we mean He knows all the names and numbers in all the telephone books in print today? God's words – assuming he has them, or needs them, or uses them – are not our words, and neither are ours His. When Wittgenstein said we should not speak about things we know nothing about (in his own words, “...about that of which one cannot talk, one must be silent”) I suspect he had God in mind and he was saying “Shut up!” to theologians. Two and a half millennia ago Socrates made a similar assertion when he said, “Of the gods we know nothing.”

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Jean-Paul Sartre, a contemporary of Wittgenstein, wrote a big philosophical treatise titled BEING AND NOTHINGNESS. In the cosmos, the planet on which we live is the size of a speck of dust so tiny that it might as well be invisible. Which may suggest that “being and nothingness” are not two contradictory conditions but one and the same, or as complementary to one another as mumbo jumbo.

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April 13, 2010

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APHORISMS

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We all harbor a killer and like 007 all we need is a license to kill.

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God did not create man in His own image. Man is prone to error. God is not – provided we assume creating man not to have been a serious blunder on His part.

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We choose an ideology or belief system not by its truth but by its usefulness to us.

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By selecting a set of values and facts, one can formulate an almost infinite number of belief systems and ideologies.

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There is a natural tendency in all of us to believe in pleasant lies and to reject painful truths.

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If the Bible is the word of God, then it is a clumsily garbled paraphrase by someone suffering from an advanced case of Alzheimer's.

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True knowledge contains doubts, false knowledge only certainties.

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If as a teenager I had read someone like me, I would have hated his guts.

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A bad reader can be a mean critic.

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Men have been talking about women since the beginning of time and they still can't figure them out. What does that tell you about the state of human knowledge and understanding?

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April 15, 2010

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READING BARUIR MASSIKIAN,

THE ABOMINABLE NO MAN

OF ARMENIAN LITERATURE

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“Armenian literature is a vast cemetery and writing for Armenians as cheerful a prospect as attending a requiem mass.”

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A handful of his contemporaries may have heard of him but the rest have every reason to assume that he is a fiction of my own imagination whose raison d'etre is to reinforce my own peculiar views on Armenians and related atrocities. It is to dispel that notion that I have translated below the brief entry on him in the SOVIET-ARMENIAN ENCYCLOPEDIA (volume 7, page 267), by A. Yapujian:

“Armenian author, born in Adana in 1914. He lived in Cairo in 1920. Received his primary education in the Berberian School, Studied law at the University of Paris, philosophy and literature at the University of Brussels. His works include OUR LIFE (1946), BROKEN CROSSES (1959), and PELTING RAIN (1962), which is a collection of humorous tales, and the plays “My Grandson,” “The Cross,” “One Million,” and “Akhjikdes” [literally, “girl-viewing,” a formal visit arranged by match-makers). His operetta ERZRUM RONDO was staged in Cairo, New York, and elsewhere.”

In addition to being a composer he was also an excellent violinist, or so I am told by a personal acquaintance of his.

He died about ten years after the Encyclopedia was published in 1981.

His contempt of Armenian activists, Panchoonies, and Jack S. Avanakians was such that, when several of them approached his deathbed suggesting he bequeath his estate to an Armenian educational foundation (he died single and, as a successful lawyer, he was a wealthy man), he is said to have replied: “I'd much rather leave it to a Cairo bordello.”

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“To be an Armenian poet means to be a beggar at the mercy of buggers.”

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“They asked a thief why he stole, and he replied: 'To qualify as a member of an Armenian organization.'”

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“He was convinced he looked like a doctor though he had not had much practice in legal murder.”

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“The logic of an Armenian charlatan: All geniuses have major failings. Since I have a major failing, I must be a genius.”

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“Instead of books, they want basterma.

Instead of theater, belly-dancing.

Instead of poems, obscenities and brawls.”

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April 16, 2010

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REFRAINS

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Because he was a Jew, writes Kirk Douglas in his memoirs, he was constantly harassed, bullied, and beaten by neighborhood boys in New York. I too was bullied and sometimes beaten, not by Greeks but by my Armenian classmates.

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Nothing comes more naturally to a victim than to victimize the first chance he gets.

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For most of our historic existence we were at the mercy of bullies who were successful in convincing us we were in the best of hands.

When shortly before he was himself murdered, Zohrab warned his fellow Armenians of the coming catastrophe, they said, “Zohrab effendi is exaggerating.”

That's another problem with us. After being victims for centuries, we assume our status as underdogs to be an integral part of the human condition.

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I have said this before and it bears repeating: Once upon a time we were slaves. We are now slaves of former slaves.

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We experienced a literary Renaissance in Istanbul under Sultan Abdulhamid II. Under our own bosses and benefactors (and with the blessing of our bishops) we are experiencing the apotheosis of mediocrity which is worse than death.

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The dead can be resurrected. It is more difficult with the living.

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I remember to have read somewhere, “A feud should live a full and colorful life and then it should die a natural death and be forgotten.” After we die, our feuds will go on living. Our mortality is certain. So is the immortality of our feuds.

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April 17, 2010

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TWO BOOKS

**************************************

Two recently published books that I am looking forward to read are SPEAK, NABOKOV by Michael Maar, and a biography (the first, I think) of Lesley Blanch titled INNER LANDSCAPES, WILDER SHORES by Anne Boston.

*

Nabokov is a favorite writer of mine. LOLITA is the only work of fiction that I have read four times with equal enjoyment. His critics are right when they say he has no moral sense, no social consciousness, and no constructive message. In that sense, he is very much like music, even though he was himself tone deaf, unlike his son Dimitry, who in addition to being an opera singer is also his father's editor and translator of his Russian works.

My admiration of Nabokov is such that I am more than willing to forgive his blind spots – two of them being his contempt for two bourgeois writers like Thomas Mann and Jean-Paul Sartre.

Nabokov was born in the highest Russian aristocracy, a multimillionaire, who lost his fortune to the Soviets and his father to an assassin.

*

Lesley Blanch is the author of THE SABRES OF PARADISE, the most fascinating book on the Caucasus, or rather, the fierce resistance of Caucasian tribes under the leadership of Imam Shamil, which continues to this day.

There are several Armenians in this epic story, one of them being a girl not much older than Lolita, with whom Shamil is said to have fallen in love. So much so that even when the girl's parents were willing to pay a ransom for her (she was abducted), she refused to return to her family.

Leslie Blanch married Romain Gary, author of the best-selling THE ROOTS OF HEAVEN, (inspired by the ideas of Teilhard de Chardin, with whom he was personally acquainted), who left her for a much younger Jean Seberg, who committed suicide; and so did Romain Gary.

I have a soft spot for all suicides (except Hitler), but I am also convinced it is the wrong people who commit suicide, and those who should, don't – Stalin, Mao, Franco, and any day now, Castro.

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If I have been silenced, it's because our fascist editors and publishers have been successful in convincing their readers that I am an enemy not of fascism but of the people and the fatherland.

Sounds like your editors and publishers are absolutely correct in their evaluation; I have to agree with their diagnosis.

But, please, don’t let me interrupt you, go on. :)

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April 18, 2010

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WRITING

**************************************

From an interview with Philippe Sollers in the latest issue of LE POINT:

“To know how to write, one must know how to read; and to know how to read, one must know how to live. That's all there is to it.”

*

“It is said that anyone can be a writer because language is a medium at everyone's disposal. Allow me to confide in you if I may: writing is an art.”

*

VICTIMS

************************

Not all victims are nice. I will never forget the young, attractive woman who was so rude to me that I did something I have never done before: I walked out on her. When she went and complained to my employer, he telephoned to explain that she had once killed a man who had tried to rape her.

*

CRITICS AND DUPES

*******************************

There is more merit in being too critical to the point of being wrong than being a dupe. When one is wrong one may be corrected. But the chances of a dupe seeing the light are slim to the point of being non-existent. Racists, fanatics, fascists, and skinheads have existed and will continue to exist even in the most liberal democracies like the United States of America, and even in the most “progressive, civilized, and intelligent” nation like Armenia.

*

TURKS

***************************

If we call Turks swine we run the risk of alienating the good Turks as well as the half-Armenians within Turkey, that is to say, our most important potential allies.

*

If teachers in Turkey have no choice but to use textbooks approved by the state, in what way is the average Turk today guilty or evil?

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April 19, 2010

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EXTRAVAGANT CLAIMS

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With the financial support of the Gulbenkian Foundation, an Irish academic by the name of D.M. Lang once wrote and published a lavishly illustrated book titled ARMENIA: CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION. Another academic, J. Strzygowski by name (an Austrian, I think) published a monograph asserting Italian Renaissance architecture is unthinkable without Armenian medieval architecture. Both claims have been rejected by our own academics, among them Sirarpie Der Nersessian, who was later to expose the illegal sale of ancient Armenian manuscripts by the Patriarch of Jerusalem, a well-known black marketeer.

*

The sad truth is, there are as many charlatans in academia as there are in politics, organized religions, medicine, and jurisprudence.

Medicine. Last night on 60 MINUTES a con man maintained he could reverse the symptoms and even cure such terminal conditions as pancreatic cancer for the modest sum of $125,000. To prove this assertion he listed an impressive array of credentials, all of which were exposed as phony.

Jurisprudence. Consider its Greek variant which, in its Golden Age, condemned Socrates to death; Roman jurisprudence that crucified our Lord.

More recently British jurisprudence that imprisoned Gandhi; Soviet jurisprudence and its Gulags; German jurisprudence and its concentration camps; and last but far from least, American jurisprudence that, with the blessing of the Church (all denominations) legitimized racism in the South and its countless crimes against humanity.

One may therefore be justified in suspecting that the aim of a justice system (even at its most progressive and civilized stage of development) is to legitimize criminal conduct.

*

Who is taken in by charlatans? Not just the ignorant, the naïve, and the desperate, but also underdogs and victims whose egos have been so mortally wounded that like drowning man they will cling even to the most absurd lie.

Hamlet's assertion that to be an honest man is to be one in ten thousand holds as true today as it did four centuries ago.

*

For more on Lang, Strzygowski, and Sirarpie der Nersessian, see my ARMENIANS: THEIR HISTORY & CULTURE (New York, 1980) which was published by the AGBU (also known as KGBU in some circles), a textbook that was conceived and written for the purpose of flattering the naïve and the uninformed (beginning with myself).

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April 20, 2010

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READING MANN

**************************************

“The intellectual man is almost as much interested in painful truths as the fool is in those which flatter him.”

*

Thomas Mann was a contemporary of Hitler who saw him as an enemy of the state as well as his own personal enemy. Like all megalomaniacs (a condition not alien to us) the German dictator thought of himself not only as a great statesman and a messianic figure on the stage of world history, but also a better writer than Mann. His resentment grew exponentially when Mann was awarded the Nobel Prize and his MAGIC MOUNTAIN sold many more copies than MEIN KAMPF. He tried to have him assassinated but failed. Mann escaped to America where he wrote a big book on Jews – the four-volume JOSEPH AND HIS BROTHERS, a magnificent and magisterial retelling of a story from the GENESIS. He also wrote many analytical commentaries in which he tried to understand and explain his fellow Germans. Understanding Germans also meant understanding Hitler and his hold over the nation:

“The totalitarian statesman is the founder of a religion; or, more accurately, the founder of an infallible inquisitorial system of dogma that forcibly suppresses every heresy while itself resting on legend – a system to which truth must austerely submit.”

Sounds familiar?

On Hitler as speechifier:

“It is oratory unspeakably inferior in kind, but magnetic in its effect on the masses: a weapon of definitely histrionic even hysterical power, which he thrusts into the nation's wound and turns it round.”

Further down:

“Thanks to his own baseness, he has indeed succeeded in exposing much of our own.”

*

Mann and Hitler shared a boundless admiration for Wagner's music. That was enough for Mann to call Hitler “a brother.”

“A brother – a rather unpleasant and mortifying brother. He makes me nervous, the relationship is painful to a degree. But I will not disclaim it. For I repeat: better, more productive, more honest, more constructive than hatred is recognition, acceptance, the readiness to make oneself one with what is deserving of our hate.”

Finally, here is Mann on his contemporaries, among them Heidegger (according to some, the greatest philosopher of his time) who were taken in by Hitler in the same way that our own own writers were taken in by Stalin in both the Homeland and the Diaspora:

“...lame-brained sycophant intellectuals who mistook the vilest travesty of Germanism for the real thing – who spinelessly took part in every abjectness, prating the while of 'change in spiritual structure.'”

One must be blind not to see parallels here.

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April 21, 2010

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ON STYLE

**************************************

A rich vocabulary may complicate matters. Speaking for myself, I prefer a limited vocabulary -- as in the Bible or Hemingway. Less confusing. Easier to follow. More accessible. Shakespeare is at his best when he uses monosyllables -- “To be or not to be...”

“For whom the bell tolls.” That's not Hemingway but Donne.

Nabokov on Hemingway: “Bulls, bells, balls.”

Hemingway on writing: “Don't borrow, steal!”

*

If it takes you an entire page to say what could be said in a single line, then the challenge you face is not being right but being readable.

*

ON QUOTATIONS

*********************************

To those who say I quote too much, my answer is: We all quote or paraphrase and, more often than not, garble and misinterpret our sources.

Some of us do their utmost to quote honest witnesses; others prefer charlatans who will corroborate their perjury.

*

ON LIMITATIONS

*********************************

One of the hardest things in life is to know one's limitations. But to most people, their limitations might as well be unknown territory.

*

ON BRAGGARTS

**********************************

As children we were taught to brag about our past achievements. I will never forget the Greek who kept bragging about ancient Greek culture and its many contributions to world civilization to a bored American who finally said: “What else have you done more recently?”

What about us? What else have we done beside dropping our pants?

Once when I asked that question to a loud-mouth Armenian, he replied: “We taught the Azeris a lesson they will never forget.”

In other words, we did to them what they did to us. And I thought, there goes our much vaunted moral superiority down the drain.

*

ON MORTALITY

****************************

It is easy to come to terms with your own mortality; much more difficult to survive the death of someone you love.

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April 22, 2010

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FROM CRADLE TO GRAVE

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Herbert von Karajan's biographers (and there are several of them) tell us he was of Greek descent (real name Karayannis = Blackjohn), but there are Armenians today who believe he was Armenian. The evidence? The last syllable of his surname, of course. What other evidence does anyone need?

An Armenian writer (may he rest in peace) who is accorded an entry in the SOVIET-ARMENIAN ENCYCLOPEDIA, in an angry letter to me: “I have published a book on Armenian celebrities and Karajan is in it!”

What could be more irrefutable than that?

It is common knowledge (but only among Armenians) that many Hollywood stars, among them, Gregory Peck, Jack Palance, and Elizabeth Taylor (Ipekian, Palanjian, and Tertsakian respectively) are of Armenian descent.

“Jesus may have been a Jew,” I was once told by an Armenian with a college degree, “but he was Armenian in spirit because Armenians were the first nation to convert to Christianity.”

More recently I was told, if 40% of Armenian words have Iranian roots, it is the Iranians who borrowed from us and not the other way around. The evidence? To make a long story short, we are “the cradle of civilization.”

If true, I wonder why is it that no historian has so far bothered to write a history of our decline and fall? Is it because the roots of our decline and fall are within us? -- and more particularly in our tribalism, ignorance, prejudice, arrogance, and megalomania – and more particularly, the kind of megalomania that allows us to believe anything that flatters our collective ego?

Or is it because, in the words of our own Raffi:

“We are Armenians and we bear God's curse on our foreheads. We demolish our house with our own hands. Mutual intolerance, divisiveness, envy, betrayal, and a thousand other vices have built permanent nests in our hearts.”

Elsewhere:

“If you examine carefully our national misfortunes and the acts of barbarism perpetrated against us by our enemies, you will invariably find an Armenian. Where Armenian blood flows look for for an Armenian hatchet. After digging the foundations and carefully raising his house, an Armenian will tear it down again with his own hands.”

Is this why the cradle has become the grave?

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April 23, 2010

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ARMENIANS ON ARMENIANS

**************************************

As an Armenian, you may say whatever you wish about your fellow Armenians and get away with it on the grounds that (one) as an Armenian you are an expert on the subject, and (two) most Armenians are dupes who know even less than you do. What Ajarian said about the Armenian language (“Who among us can truly claim to know the Armenian language?”) could be said about Armenians -- “Who among us can truly say to understand Armenians?”

An Armenian is a foreign country to another Armenian. Our differences are such that it is as if we were not only members of different tribes but also of races. I remember once when a fellow Armenian and I disagreed and I said, “We must come from different planetary system,” he retorted with “Make it galaxies.”

What you think or say about Armenians may contain particles of truth which may be easily contradicted by someone else's particles. I say and I repeat, feel free to say whatever you wish about Armenians provided you are honestly interested in the subject which, after all, is an integral part of the human condition – not exactly alien territory to many disciplines, among them philosophy, anthropology, sociology, psychology, and semantics.

*

A reader has posted a critical comment in which he praises the generosity of our benefactors and attacks the integrity of our bishops on the grounds they are in it only for the money. If true – and it may well be – the questions we must ask are:

If those among us who speak in the name of God are corrupt, what about those who speak in the name of ideology (bosses) or capital (benefactors)?

If the central concern of our bishops is greed, is the central concern of our bosses and benefactors selfless service?

Are we to believe religion is abused but power and wealth are not?

What has been the contribution of capitalism and ideology to the human condition?

An idea should be judged by its history and not its dictionary definition.

A power structure should be judged not by those in power but by its history of abuses. Where there is power, there will be abuses of power. This is as true of the papacy as it is of monarchy, imperialism, communism, capitalism, authoritarianism, and democracy.

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April 24, 2010

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CONTRADICTIONS

**************************************

Nothing can be more misleading than to confuse chauvinism with patriotism, and dissent with treason. Because to do so also means to confuse propaganda with truth, fascism with democracy, and subservience with independence.

*

All leaders, be they political or religious, rely on the propensity of the average dupe to say “Yes, sir!” Leadership without dupes is inconceivable.

*

Fascism and human rights are mutually exclusive concepts. History is very clear on this point. A leader who pretends to have the Keys of the Kingdom, his Kingdom is that of Hell.

*

We are told one reason suffering is an integral part of the human condition is that Adam and Eve ignored God's warning not to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. In other words, they failed to say “Yes, sir!” and they dared to think for themselves. If you believe that, you will believe anything, including the necessity of just wars, which also means massacres, violations of human rights, and intolerance of free speech.

*

In the eyes of warlike people, all wars are just. Has any nation in the history of mankind ever admitted to have initiated an unjust war? Or, for that matter, has any religious leader ever admitted to believe in a false God? And yet, the world is full of them.

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April 25, 2010

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COMPASSION

**************************************

Compassion, I am told, is a missing ingredient in my commentaries. What I am not told is, compassion for whom? The victim or the victimizer, the deceiver or his dupe?

*

A critic is judged by his degree of objectivity; a sermonizer by his compassion (which means suffering with); a physician, on the other hand, is judged by the accuracy of his diagnoses; and a lawyer by his ability to prove the innocent guilty (if he is with the prosecution) and the guilty innocent (if he is with the defense).

What I am trying to say here is that, all lines of work have their own specific and narrow aims, and it would be a mistake for a critic to muscle in the territory of sermonizers, or for that matter, for a lawyer to discard his whig, don a white coat and with a stethoscope around his neck, walk into a hospital and pretend to know what he is talking about.

*

As Armenians, shall we ascribe all our problems to our writers and critics for their lack of compassion? Like the rest of mankind, we too have been exposed to sermonizers for almost two millennia now. What has been the result? More lies, more corruption, more incompetence, more victims, more blunders, and more propaganda. As they say in Washington: “You want a friend who will love you even if you are an s.o.b. or a dealer in b.s. (caca de toro), get a dog!”

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April 26, 2010

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AND ANOTHER THING

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Underestimating the opposition might as well be synonymous with defeat.

At the turn of the last century the Ottoman Empire was labeled “the Sick Man of Europe.” That's when our revolutionaries decided to challenge its might and went as far as daring the Sultan to massacre us, assuming if he was foolish enough to do so, the Great Powers of the West and the Czar of all the Russias would fall on him like a ton of bricks. No one said the Empire was less like a sick man and more like a wounded tiger, that is to say, at its most dangerous phase.

Our greatest enemy then and now is not the Turk but our damaged perception of reality.

*

And now, consider the case of Palestinians today: they too underestimated the opposition when they chose to go on the warpath. They thought, as Muslims – once upon a time mighty warriors and empire builders – they outnumbered Jews a thousand to one. Besides, who were these Jews who dared to occupy their lands? Nothing but scrawny money-changers who had not fought and won a single war during the last two thousand years.

*

How right are those of my readers who tell me I should get busy flattering egos instead of exposing derrières and questioning the integrity of our leaders, their institutions, and their fund-raising campaigns?

And speaking of fund-raising: If the deciding vote is cast by the bottom line, it only means the decision-makers think not with their brains (assuming they have any) but with their bottoms.

*

It has been said, “We begin to grow up on the day someone we love dies.”

We died.

What have our leaders learned?

Did they ever love us?

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April 27, 2010

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AS OTHERS SEE US

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Last night on the evening news on TV there was talk of organized Armenian gangs in Los Angeles. Now a few more million people know we are not what we pretend to be.

But then who is?

And yet, we keep brainwashing our children to believe we are better and silencing those who dare to disagree.

We need a positive outlook on life, we are told by negative individuals. And by negative individuals I mean Panchoonies, Jack S. Avanakians, and their dupes whose main concern is covering up who they really are and what they are really up to. In other words, Armenians who speak in the name of Armenianism and practice Ottomanism and Sovietism.

By negative individuals I mean cowards who are afraid to take a good look at themselves in the mirror – afraid of what they may see there.

To cover up their treason, they speechify on patriotism.

Our organized criminal gangs: where did they learn their trade?

By observing our “betters” of course -- that is to say, our commissars in the Homeland, and in the Diaspora, our bosses and bishops – or our mini-sultans and crypto-imams.

How to reconcile our criminal gangs with our demand for Genocide recognition?

That indeed is the question.

All nations have their share of criminal gangs.

If true, then let us have the decency to admit once and for all that we are no better than the rest of mankind, including Turks. And if, unlike Turks, we are not guilty of genocide, it's not because we are better. Because to say we are better than Turks is to confuse military inferiority with moral superiority.

And now, let us pray, if we still have a prayer.

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April 28, 2010

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THE ENEMY WITHIN

**************************************

We were defeated because our enemies outnumbered us.

True or false?

To imply that God created more Turks than Armenians is to accuse Him of being pro-Turkish and anti-Armenian. Like all nations and empires Turks too began their career as a collection of small tribes. With one difference. They were successful in forging alliances with one another. Forging alliances has never been our forte. Being subservient to barbarians comes more easily to us than coming to terms with our own brothers.

*

We are told geography is destiny. We were divided because of our mountains and valleys.

Consider the case of North-American Indians: not only they lived on flatlands but they also outnumbered white men. And yet they lost. They lost because they were divided. Too many chiefs...

*

If in crime it's “cherchez la femme,” in politics it's “cherchez the enemy within.” If, on the other hand, you put the blame on others (another line of thinking popular with us) you condemn yourself to die an ignoramus.

*

More cases in point:

Hitler won at first because he was successful in uniting the German-speaking people. But he lost because he divided his fellow Germans into friends and enemies. As a result, he lost some of the most creative minds in his realm.

Something similar could be said of Stalin's USSR. It was not American capitalism or the Pope of Rome that defeated Communism, but Stalin.

*

Is my criticism wrong because I don't understand my fellow Armenians?

Nobody is perfect. If you read only infallible writers, you should stick to Papal Encyclicals. If I am wrong, the next question we should ask is: Are our propagandists right?

As for understanding my fellow Armenians: I don't have to understand why they think as they do because I too was brought up to think like them. I have been there.

A layman may be forgiven for believing what he is brainwashed to believe. But he cannot and should not be forgiven for thinking he knows better and what he knows is the alpha and omega of human knowledge and wisdom. That's neither knowledge nor wisdom but arrogance or hubris, which is invariably punished by the gods.

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April 29, 2010

***************************************************

CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG

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Arrogance: The difference between how smart we are and how smart we think we are. Or rather, the difference between how smart we think we are and how dumb we really are.

*

From the war of Troy to those of Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan in our own days, we can say with some degree of certainty that war-makers are never right.

*

Our revolutionaries challenged the might of the Ottoman Empire not because we loved freedom too much (we never did...even now, in a free country like America, we continue to be afraid of free speech – see below) but because we were deceived into thinking the Empire was on its deathbed and the Great Powers were on our side.

*

Who is taken in by lies? Only dupes who allow wishful thinking to cloud their judgment.

*

Our genocide is a major tragedy. But it is also a disastrous defeat, and as such it should be analyzed objectively -- if, that is, we want to learn from our blunders. To call it a tragedy and engage in endless lamentation does nothing but certify our status as perennial victims.

To those who say our conditions of life in the Empire were so unbearable that we had no choice but to act. Maybe so, but the aim of action is not to make things worse but better. Oppression is degrading. Sadistic oppression is unbearable. But genocide is infinitely worse!

*

To say that we rose against the Empire because we loved freedom too much, is to ignore our history and the fact that for most of our existence we were the obedient and loyal subjects of ruthless and bloodthirsty tyrants from Suleiman to Stalin. So much so that in the Ottoman Empire our masters called us “the most loyal millet (ethnic group).” We were loyal to the point of betraying to the authorities our ablest men.

*

As for our love of freedom and fear of free speech: according to Hagop Garabents (Jack Karapetian) – not a dissident or critic but a pro-establishment novelist, essayist, and short story writer: “Once upon a time we fought and shed our blood for freedom. We are now afraid of free speech.”

I have quoted this line before and I will continue to quote it to remind our dupes that we are not what we pretend to be, and there is a natural tendency in all of us to speak with a forked tongue.

*

Churchill once said: “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.” Which is why I don't trust our nationalist historians – they are invariably too kind to the nation at the expense of the truth. As for our political leaders: like all political leaders they are closer to being compulsive liars than honest witnesses or selfless servants. To believe in what they say is to be a certifiable dupe.

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April 30, 2010

***************************************************

QUESTION

**************************************

Is what I write of any use to anyone?

I don't know and I don't care to know.

I prefer to think no one gives a damn. At least that way I have history on my side (see below). If I were to believe what I write matters, I would begin to take myself seriously and gradually degenerate into a pompous ass. Instead of sharing my understanding I would sermonize and speechify, and of sermonizers and speechifiers we already have more than our share.

*

HISTORY

*******************************

Betrayed to the authorities, abused, silenced, neglected, starved, and driven to suicide or executed, our ablest writers have been conveniently buried and forgotten. I have said this before and it bears repeating. Why should anyone give a damn about what a minor scribbler says?

*

MEMO TO MY CRITICS

*************************************

To those of my readers who are eager to inform me that I am on the wrong path, I say: “Relax! No harm done. No one gives a damn. Why should you?”

*

ANOTHER QUESTION

*****************************

Our children are brought up and even encouraged to brag about our Golden Age (5th century AD). But has anyone bothered to read any one of our golden masterpieces? Or having read them, has understood what they say? And what they say is what every honest witness has said: corruption and divisions breed incompetence, and to ignore our blunders or to cover them up is to sign the death warrant of the nation.

We have survived for millennia and we will continue to survive?

A man condemned to die the death of a thousand cuts will also survive up to the 999th cut.

What if, instead of survivors, we are “dead men walking”?

*

IF

**************

If I write what no one want to read it may be because there are many others who make a comfortable living – thank you very much – by writing what they are told to write. And what are they told to write? What else but Turks, massacres, and “mi kich pogh...”

*

THE ROOTS OF INTOLERANCE

*********************************************

To elevate an opinion, and often a false one, to an ideology, and an ideology to a belief system is a mistake we all make when we are young and not yet able to think for ourselves. This descent from the human to the thoroughly dehumanized is so gradual that more often than not it escape notice. And that's where I come in.

*

CONFESSION

****************************

I may be prejudiced. As a writer – make it, scribbler – I tend to identify with writers as opposed to their executioners. What about you?

Allow me to end with a quotation:

Antranik Zaroukian: “What kind of people are we? What kind of leadership is this? Instead of compassion, mutual contempt. Instead of reason, blind instinct. Instead of common sense, fanaticism.”

Even more to the point:

“They speak of the cross and nail us to it again as they speak.”

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May 1, 2010

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FAILINGS

**************************************

“I am not a Marxist!” That's the smartest thing Marx said.

As for capitalists being bloodsuckers: that has never been a secret. There is even a line to that effect in the Bible.

Christ never said “I am not a Christian,” probably because he never thought of himself as the founder of a new religion.

Speaking for myself: I am a human being first, an Armenian second, and an Armenianist, never!

*

Judging by the number of wars, revolutions, massacres, and genocides: a man is first and foremost a killing machine in search of a reason to justify his lust for blood – religion being one of them.

*

You are an honest man?

Prove it!

Show me your scars.

*

I repeat myself?

Not as often as our Panchoonies and Jack S. Avanakians.

*

You want to know why I haven't been lynched so far? Because I live in the middle of nowhere, and nowhere is hard to locate on the map.

*

There are failings and there are rotten failings. Example of a rotten failing: the fundamental human right of free speech is an invention of the degenerate West.

*

Speaking of Oshagan and his friends, Zarian once remarked: “When they speak of homeland they mean Istanbul.” One could also say, when we speak of Armenianism, we mean Ottomanism.

*

Unlike doctors, writers don't have a Hippocratic Oath. As a result, they are as willing to sell their soul as a Если Вы видите это сообщение, значит кто то пытался Вас оскорбить. Просьба сообщить нам об этом http://forum.hayastan.com/index.php?act=report&t=34878 is to sell her body. (I am now paraphrasing Zohrab.)

*

If Americans prefer to believe Turks rather than us, it may be because it is in their own interest to do so. The rule is, everyone does what's in his own best interest. But like all rules, this one too has its exception: namely, us. We do whatever we undertake to do because it is against our own self-interest.

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ararat magazine

Bobelian's Children of Armenia. by Ara Baliozian comments: 0 ... Canadian writer Ara Baliozian was born in Athens, Greece, and educated in Venice, Italy. ...

www.araratmagazine.org/2010/04/bobelian-children-of-armenia/ - Cached

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May 2, 2010

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FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

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There are good Armenians and there are bad Armenians, or so I am told.

I am a bad Armenian because I hate myself and I hate Armenians, or so I am told.

Rouben Mamoulian was a bad Armenian because he never helped a single Armenian.

I once knew an Armenian conductor who, after inviting an Armenian pianist to play with his orchestra, said “Never again!”

*

Never again!

Two words used by victims with the implication, “Unless we are the perps.”

*

Once when asked why I don't encourage young Armenian writers, I said “We need readers not writers.” No one dared to object.

*

One of the functions of lawyers is to defend the lawless.

*

When asked if I believe in God, I say, “I don't believe in the God of imams, popes,

and televangelists.”

It seems to me, speaking about God or trying to understand the inconceivable and the incomprehensible, is like trying to drink the sea with a spoon.

*

If you are an Armenian and have an opinion , you can always rely on a fellow Armenian to call you a fool and an ignoramus.

*

A safe assumption: Anything that flatters the ego is false.

*

When, at the turn of the last century, Turks heard Armenian Evangelicals singing "Onward Christian soldiers," they thought the giaours were planning another crusade.

*

If I took my critics seriously, I would have two instead of only one ulcer.

*

Good men don't judge bad men, because good men (if they exist) are too busy examining their own heart.

*

If an Armenian tells you he doesn't hate Turks, it may be because he loves to lie even more.

*

From a popular Armenian song:

"An Armenian loves to eat (oudel)

and he eats to hate (adel)."

#

May 3, 2010

***************************************************

CALL IT MEGALOMANIA

**************************************

My mission in life: to de-Ottomanize and to de-Stalinize my fellow Armenians; which amounts to saying: to humanize the dehumanized, to civilize barbarians, and to deprogram the brainwashed. Not an easy task. Which is why so far I have failed and the chances that I will ever succeed are so remote that they might as well be invisible to the most powerful telescope.

*

A LOVE STORY

*****************************

In a review of an Iranian novel mention is made of a classical Sufi love poem titled "KHOSROW AND SHIRIN, written nine centuries ago by Nizami and telling of the romance between a great Persian king and an Armenian princess.”

*

A SOLEMN PROMISE

******************************

On the day I will stop infuriating fools, fanatics, and fascists (but I repeat myself) I will give up writing.

*

PHYSICAL AND METAPHYSICAL REFLECTIONS

*******************************************************

What we don't know about the physical world or the visible universe far exceeds what we know. As for the metaphysical world – that which lies beyond the visible – we know nothing. Nothing! That doesn't stop us from blabbering endlessly about God, the Mother of God, the Son of God, the immortality of the soul, heaven and hell, and angels and devils.

*

CHARLATANS: A DEFINITION

*********************************************

Sermonizers and speechifiers who speak endlessly about things they know nothing about. Shaw is right: “All professions are conspiracies against the laity.”

*

TODAY'S QUOTATION

***********************************

William McAdoo: “It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.”

#

May 4, 2010

***************************************************

THAT WHICH WE SHARE

**************************************

Our failings are universal, I am reminded once in a while by readers who are so afraid to confront their own failings that they adopt the school of thought that says “misery likes company.”

There are divisions everywhere, granted; also corruption and incompetence, not to speak of prejudice and ignorance. But is that the end of the story?

*

In a book on the social behavior of animals, I read today: “The analysis of DNA demonstrates that only 2% of our genetic code differs from that of chimpanzees.”

In some respects, animals may be ahead of us:

“Female chimpanzees (unlike female humans) do not experience menopause, and thus can remain fertile into old age.”

Elsewhere: “It is not so much that elephants are like us. They are us, and we them.”

*

We like to say that Naregatsi is our Shakespeare and Dante combined. But who reads Naregatsi? Not even Armenians. At least I have never heard an Armenian quote a single line by Naregatsi.

*

Armenians are a fraction of mankind in the same way that a day is a fraction of eternity.

*

“An Englishman cannot be a slave,” they sing in “Rule Britannia.”

And what do we sing? “Mer hairenik, tshvar ander.”

*

About Armenians and slavery:

“Once upon a time we were slaves. We are now slaves of former slaves.”

We take to slavery like a duck takes to water, a baby to mother's milk, and newlyweds to their bed.

Instead of being subservient to the Sultan, we are now subservient to our bosses, bishops, and benefactors. Progress cannot be said to be our most important product.

*

An autobiographical short story by an American writer begins with the words: “As one who works with words for a living...”

An Armenian writer could introduce himself with the same words except one: instead of “living” he would have to say “dying.”

#

May 5, 2010

***************************************************

CONFESSIONS

**************************************

In the Homeland, our elections are marred by irregularities, or so I am told by observers. In the diaspora, we have no elections. We must therefore conclude that our representatives represent no one but themselves and their respective mafias. As for our so called democracy, respect for human rights, and rule of law: they are nothing but fictions of our imagination.

We have been so thoroughly Ottomanized and Sovietized that we consider these aberrations business as usual.

When will we see the light?

It is said of blind men that when their sight is restored, they take refuge in dark rooms.

*

To refuse to flatter fools is not the same as being negative.

*

Heroes are like cops: they are never there when you need them.

*

We flatter ourselves when we say the world, or a fraction of it, is against us. The truth is much worse, as always. The world is for itself and we may not even register on its consciousness. It would be even more accurate to say that the world cares about us as much as we care about ourselves.

*

Unlike Turks we are good at picking fights we can't win. Several of our poets have even addressed some nasty words against the Good Lord Himself. At this point I don't mind admitting that, by picking a fight against our bosses, bishops, benefactors and their army of hirelings, flunkies, dupes and brown-nosers, I too have picked a fight I can't win, and I have thus joined the ranks of my ancestors as a perennial loser.

#

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May 6, 2010

***************************************************

WITNESSES FOR THE PROSECUTION

****************************************************

Our history keeps unfolding like a worst case scenario.

And what has been the contribution of our leadership to this fiasco?

Treason, betrayal, and collaboration with the enemy.

And the contribution of our historians?

Lies and propaganda.

We are a people like any other people, we are told.

To which I can only say:

When was the last time we beheaded a single king or boss?

Am I advocating public executions?

Hell no! Only pointing out a difference.

But enough about what I think. Allow me to introduce my witnesses:

*

Shavarsh Missakian on our degeneration:

“The Armenian Diaspora is losing its character. Our language, our literature, and our traditions are degenerating. Even our religious leaders have abandoned their calling and turned into cunning wheeler-dealers. Our press thrives on meaningless controversies. I see charlatanism and cheap chauvinism everywhere but not a single trace of self-sacrifice and dedication to principles and ideals. What's happening to us? Where are we heading? Quo vadis, O Armenian people?”

*

Levon Pashalian on our bosses:

“A familiar figure in our collective existence is the wealthy and arrogant community leader who, by obstructing the path of all those who wish to reform and improve our conditions, perpetuates a status quo whose sole aim is his own personal profit and aggrandizement.”

*

Philip Mansel on massacres:

“Some Armenian leaders hoped for a massacre in the belief that it would provoke the intervention of the Great Powers.”

*

Shirvanzadeh on our ghazetajis:

“The narrow partisan propaganda line that is espoused by our press is the enemy of all literature.”

*

Nigoghos Sarafian:

“Our history is a litany of lamentation, anxiety, horror, and slaughter. Also deception and abysmal naiveté mixed with the smoke of incense and the sound of sharagans.”

*

Derenik Saribekian on collaboration with the enemy:

“It is safer to defend the interests of wolves against sheep than the other way around.”

*

Nothing further, your Honor!

#

May 7, 2010

***************************************************

DECLINE AND FALL

************************************************

What makes strong nations weak?

Corruption, incompetence, divisions, and internecine conflicts.

What makes weak nations weaker?

Ditto.

Knowing this why do we allow our leaders to divide us?

Because they are more like wolves and we are more like sheep.

*

About corruption: is there anything we can do about it?

We begin by exposing it. Not an easy undertaking.

Why not?

Because the corrupt don't like to be exposed, and the incompetent will never admit incompetence. Those in power will never give it up without a bloody fight, Hegel tells us, and so it is. Consider the number of emperors, kings, and czars that were assassinated or beheaded. But even more to the point, consider the number of thinkers who were persecuted, silenced, exiled, and executed.

*

If I speak of our many problems but don't provide a single solution (as my critics are fond of saying) it may be because I write for readers who are brainwashed to believe we are in the best of hands and we never had it so good.

As for readers who tell me they know all about our problems but what they need is solutions, I say: We can't abracadabra our way out of our problems, and there are no verbal formulas or programs with numbered steps that will reform our leaders, who expect us to believe they are doing their best and if their best is not good enough it is because we are all at the mercy of historical, cultural, political, and environmental conditions beyond our control.

And if you believe that, you will believe anything!

#

May 8, 2010

***************************************************

ON HISTORIANS

************************************************

Herodotus, the“father of history,” is also known as the “father of lies.” Ever since then historians have called one another liars. Two of the greatest historians of the last century, Arnold J. Toynbee and Oswald Spengler, have attracted more critical fire and verbal abuse by fellow historians than any other historian dead or alive. For more on this subject, see Toynbee's STUDY OF HISTORY,volume 12, subtitled RECONSIDERATIONS, where he discusses and replies to his critics, one of whom – Hugh Trevor-Roper, a fellow Englishman – was so abusive that reading him, Toynbee writes in a footnote, was like being verbally electrocuted.

*

We are products not of our culture, religion, climate, and environment, but of our collective experiences, that is to say, our history, or rather, the lies of our historians, which have done more to shape our worldview and character than reality and truth, or our literature and culture, of which the average Armenian knows nothing and cares even less – unless of course you classify shish-kebab and pilaf under culture.

*

My human right of free speech has been violated unanimously by our publishers and editors and I can't think of a single reader, writer, academic or vodanavorji who has raised a single objection. I have been reduced to the status of an abominable no man all because I refuse to recycle the lies of our historians or to flatter the colossal egos of our leaders.

*

To those who accuse me of being a denialist, I suggest they read my ARMENIAN GENOCIDE AND THE WEST.

*

You want to prosper in our environment?

Lie!

*

To those who say I am not published in our press because I am a bad writer, I say: I could make a long list of far better writers than myself who not only were silenced but also betrayed, exiled or executed. And if you say, since I have not been exiled or shot, it means we are moving in the right direction, I say, I am not exiled because I live in self-imposed exile in the middle of nowhere, which I call “my Siberia.” And the only reason I have not been betrayed and shot is that I have done nothing against the laws of the land, namely Canada, which is a democracy, and in a democracy writers don't get shot for exercising their human rights.

As I have said before and it bears repeating: Progress is not our most important product.

#

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May 9, 2010

***************************************************

TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT

************************************************

Just because something happens, it does not mean it is God's will.

God has given us a brain and if we don't use it, we can't blame our blunders on God or, for that matter, on the Devil.

But the blame-game is the favorite sport of all losers, and we are no exception.

*

“Turks, Turks, Turks,” say our leaders; never “the buck stops here.”

*

To say we need solutions is to imply that our literature is a waste of time – a convenient line with which to suppress dissent or anyone who refuses to flatter our ego.

*

We are not as good as we think we, Naregatsi tells us. We may even be worse than we like to admit. Which may explain why Naregatsi is our greatest and least read writer.

*

If you want the truth, give up all hope for flattery.

*

Where there are divisions, there will also be dupes who are easily taken in by false arguments.

*

Nice Armenians exist, but only in Saroyan, who was himself far from nice, or so we are told by his wife and son in their memoirs.

*

There is no money in dissent, hence the scarcity of dissenters.

There is money in flattery, hence the abundance of brown-nosers.

*

A victim who collaborates with his victimizer ceases to be a victim.

#

May 10, 2010

***************************************************

AS OTHERS SEE US

************************************************

We have friends. So do Turks. In a review of Norman Stone's THE ATLANTIC AND ITS ENEMIES, I read: “...he (Norman Stone) has become a passionate advocate for Turkey against a very powerful Armenian diaspora.” (THE SPECTATOR, 24 April 2010, page 32.)

I suspect what is meant here is not that we are powerful but that we have some mighty powerful arguments in our favor.

*

To cover up a scandal or a lie may be easy, but to cover up a million corpses is much more difficult. The Turks say the corpses are not Armenian but Turkish. What they ignore is the fact that you cannot bury a million bodies in the middle of a desert where no battle was fought.

A very powerful Armenian diaspora?

Don't make me laugh!

*

In the same issue of THE SPECTATOR I also read the following: “...the real abuse by Roman Catholic priests may not be the groping of child bodies but priestly subversion of child minds.”

I agree! Brainwashing is as serious a crime as sexual molestation of defenseless boys and girls.

Organized religions compound their felonies by

(one) asserting infallibility, and

(two) by legitimizing intolerance.

*

Thucydides: “The strong do what they will and the weak suffer what they must.”

By dividing themselves and engaging in endless internecine conflicts, the ancient Greeks and contemporaries of Thucydides fell prey to Macedonians, Romans, and Ottoman Turks. And very much like us, they continue to divide themselves today. And again like us, they continue to find themselves at the mercy of powers beyond their control.

*

Philip Pullman: “Wisdom works secretly and quietly, not in the great courts and palaces of the earth, but among ordinary people.”

#

May 11, 2010

***************************************************

COMMISSARS

************************************************

To how many of my critics and detractors I could say, some day if I ever write an essay titled “Portrait of a commissar,” I will use you as a source of inspiration. Like all commissars, you are better at shooting writers than understanding them. I wonder why. Is it because it is easier to shoot them in the neck than trying to understand them?

*

Like all skinheads and fanatics, all commissars are wrong if only because they assert infallibility, which amounts to a bordello madam asserting virginity.

*

It is much easier to say “It was God's will,” rather than, “It was our fault.”

*

In all anti-democratic environments, the people are brainwashed to support and believe in liars and starve those who expose them.

*

Why should God interfere when men adopt the Devil as their role model?

After giving us what we need to survive and shape our destiny, God tells us, “It's up to you to decide if you want to live like free men or die like slaves.”

You may now guess what has been our choice.

*

“Many cities of men he saw and learned their minds,” Homer says of Odysseus. We too have seen many cities and a large variety of men, but what have we learned? -- except perhaps to brag about how smart we are and blame others for our misfortunes.

*

You want solutions?

Read the Bible.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.”

“Where there is no vision the people perish.”

And the people perish because

“When the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.”

*

Unlike Protestants, Catholics are not encouraged to read the Bible. Neither, it seems, are Armenians – judging by the number of readers who demand solutions from me, as if I were a better writer than the Holy Ghost.

*

Even so, I thank my detractors, for they are my most faithful readers.

#

May 12, 2010

***************************************************

MY AIM IN LIFE

************************************************

To make the incomprehensible comprehensible.

Also to convince the brainwashed

that they have been brainwashed.

Not an easy task, especially if the brainwashed

have also been brainwashed to believe they are smart.

I maintain our history,

or what they call nowadays, our narrative,

proves that some of us may indeed be smart in the marketplace,

but most of us are dumb in politics.

What if I am wrong and my critics right?

That's always a possibility of course,

but a very remote one, if my critics believe

what I believed thirty years ago.

As for those of my critics who think

they have all the answers:

No one but the Good Lord has all the answers --

I use the Good Lord as a point of reference.

I don't assert His existence.

I assume it.

There is a difference.

As for our genocide:

I believe the narrative of our nationalist historians

and Turcocentric ghazetajis to be wrong

in so far as it stresses Turkish responsibility

and covers up the incompetence of our leadership.

Lamentation is important.

But learning from our blunders is even more so.

Turkish responsibility does not justify

our own past and present irresponsibility.

#

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May 13, 2010

***************************************************

POPES...AND RELATED ATROCITIES.

************************************************

I am reading a book on Renaissance popes. What rascals they were! They engaged in fornication, murder, torture, treason, wars of conquest...One of them promoted his teenage bastard son, who was not even a priest, to cardinal.

*

It is beyond me why some serious writers like Mauriac, Claudel, and Graham Greene took their Catholicism seriously. Why should anyone bother to identify himself as a Catholic when he could choose to be an honest man? Are the two mutually incompatible?

*

If one includes the number of heretics who were burned at the stake, the papacy has probably killed more people than the Mafia.

Besides these popes, American televangelists are no better than rank amateurs.

*

Organized religions are successful because like Ponzi schemes they promise much more than they deliver. They promise heaven and deliver hell. They promise 72 virgins (I wonder, what do they promise to virgins?) and they legitimize the murder of innocent civilians.

*

That's the way it is with charlatans: the more they promise, the less they deliver. The great Powers promised our historic lands, and they delivered massacres.

*

To be dependent on someone else's goodwill: I can't imagine a worst fate. We were dependent on Turkish goodwill for 600 years, until...

*

Even at its most savage, writing is the gentlest of arts, because no writer is in a position to force anyone to read what he writes. If you are disappointed in what you are reading, it may well be a result of inadequacy, not necessarily yours but mine.

*

It is easy to make mistakes, much harder to admit them.

*

In old age you become aware of your youthful mistakes.

*

We are all entitled to make one or two major mistakes and ten thousand minor ones.

*

For every honest man there are ten thousand crooks who are brainwashed to believe they are honest men.

#

May 14, 2010

***************************************************

FREIENDS AND ENEMIES

************************************************

I find the venom of my enemies more stimulating than the honey of my friends, in the same way that our Turcocentric ghazetajis find the lies of Turkish bureaucrats more stimulating than the truths of our writers – judging by the lies they quote and the truths they ignore.

And why?

Because asserting moral superiority is more flattering to their ego than examining their conscience.

But that's not the worst part of it.

The most dangerous misconception our Turcocentric ghazetajis spread is the notion that our genocide is history (in the sense that it belongs to the irrevocable past) rather than a self-inflicted ongoing operation. That is also why they are very eager to name the perpetrators of the first “red” genocide, but not of the second “white” one.

*

The trouble with asserting moral superiority is that it doesn't end there. Sooner or later and gradually it degenerates to dogmatism and ultimately infallibility; and we all know what happens to charlatans who assert infallibility: they end up victimizing innocent and defenseless civilians – from burning heretics at the stake to sexually assaulting children.

*

You want to know what is the difference between propaganda and literature?

Our propaganda says, we have enemies and we have friends.

Our literature says, the enemy is us.

*

Were the Great Powers of the West our enemies or friends?

If they were our friends, where were they when we needed them most?

*

In his JOURNALS Kierkegaard writes: “One man alone cannot help or save the age in which he lives, he can only express the fact that it will perish.”

To save the age?

If our Lord perished while trying, what chance to we miserable mortals have?

#

May 15, 2010

***************************************************

WHAT IS PROPAGANDA?

************************************************

The difference between a lie and propaganda is that a lie may be exposed but propaganda, even when exposed, continues to be believed.

*

All power structures (be they political parties, organized religion, or business corporations) engage in propaganda. That's because their number one concern is their own legitimacy rather than the truth.

*

All power that is not selfless service is illegitimate.

*

To believe and to recycle propaganda is infinitely more dangerous than to lie.

*

Propaganda is at the root of all intolerance, persecution, wars, and massacres.

*

Only dupes who cannot think for themselves believe in propaganda.

*

The world is a dangerous place and life a risky business because those who cannot think for themselves have always outnumbered those who can.

*

Millions of innocent civilians have died because their killers were brainwashed to believe their God was the only true God, and their race was God's chosen.

*

For every propaganda line there will be another that contradicts it.

*

All claims of superiority are false because no one has ever admitted to belong to an inferior race, nation, or tribe.

*

Moses was wrong if only because he failed to add the most important commandment of all, namely: “Thou shalt not believe in men who speak in the name of God for they engage in propaganda.”

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May 16, 2010

***************************************************

REPLIES

************************************************

FROM AN INTERVIEW

WITH BETTY MIDLER

****************************

Q: What is the quality you most like in a man?

A: Guts.

Q: What is the quality you most like in a woman?

A: Balls.

*

FROM AN INTERVIEW

WITH BRIGITTE BARDOT

*****************************************************

Q: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

A: Nothing about me. Everything about others.

*

FROM AN INTERVIEW

WITH SALMAN RUSHDIE

*****************************************************

Q: What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

A: Faith.

Q: What is your greatest fear?

A: Irrelevance.

*

See VANITY FAIR'S PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE (New York, 2009)

#

May 17, 2010

***************************************************

MORE REPLIES TO

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

************************************************

MAUREEN DOWD

*************************************

Q: How would you like to die?

A: After my enemies.

*

DUSTIN HOFFMAN

********************************

Q: On what occasion do you lie?

A: When people ask , “How are you?” The real answer I save for my therapist.

Q: Who are your favorite writers?

A: Nineteenth-century Russians.

*

WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY

****************************************

Q: What or who is the greatest love of your life?

A: J.S. Bach.

*

SIDNEY POITIER

****************************

Q: Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

A: Jason Bourne.

*

WALTER MATTHAU

*******************************

Q: Which historical figure do you most identify with?

A: Jack the Ripper.

Q: What is your motto?

A: “F*ck you.”

*

DAVE BRUBECK

*****************************

Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A: J.S. Bach.

*

GORE VIDAL

********************************

Q: Who are your heroes in real life?

A: Dr Kevorkian.

#

May 18, 2010

***************************************************

MY ANSWERS TO

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

************************************************

Q: What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A: Playing Bach on the organ in an empty church.

Q: What is that you most dislike in others?

A: Intolerance.

Q: What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

A: Charm and a perfect set of white gleaming teeth.

Q: What do you consider your greatest achievement?

A: The fact that I have been writing for thirty-five years and I am still alive. Very few Armenian writers can say as much.

Q: Your favorite word?

A: Compassion.

Q: Your favorite writers?

A: Plato, Chekhov, Toynbee, Sartre, Zarian, Koestler, Simenon, Chandler, Lesley Blanch...among many others.

Q: Who are your heroes in real life?

A: Socrates, Diogenes, Gandhi.

Q: Your favorite heroes of fiction?

A: Jack Bower, Jason Bourne, Bugs Bunny, and Walker in POINT BLANK.

Q: Your happiest experience?

A: Receiving a letter from Saroyan saying he reads everything I write.

Q: Who is the greatest love of your life?

A: After my mother, J.S. Bach.

Q: Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

A: “If you know what I am saying,” when I don't know what I am saying.

Q: On what occasion do you lie?

A: When asked by a writer to assess his work.

Q: How would you like to die?

A: Suddenly, in my sleep.

Q: Which talent would you most like to have?

A: The ability to sing Neapolitan serenades.

Q: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

A: Self-doubt.

Q: What is the trait you most deplore in others?

A: Subservience.

Q: What is your most marked characteristic?

A: Timidity.

Q: Which living person do you most despise?

A: Flunkies, hirelings, and brown-nosers.

Q: What is your favorite journey?

A: Greek islands, Italian cities, South-American jungles, and Caucasian mountains.

Q: If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

A: A concert pianist.

Q: What do you regard as the lowest of misery?

A: To be a homeless refugee in a poor country under an authoritarian regime in time of war.

Q: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

A: To be more diplomatic in my dealings with my fellow men.

#

May 19, 2010

***************************************************

MORE ANSWERS TO

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

************************************************

Q: Your favorite occupation?

A: Reading.

Q: Your greatest fear?

A: Losing my eyesight.

Q: Where would you like to live?

A: Since I can no longer live in the Armenian ghetto in Athens where I spent my early years – because it was torn down – in Venice.

Q: Your most treasured possession?

A: The complete organ and piano works of J.S. Bach.

Q: Your favorite saying?

A: “When the house is finished, death enters.”

*

DAVID STEINBERG

********************************

Q: If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A: Frank Sinatra's dick-- the early years.

*

ON THE RADIO

****************************

“They don't eat bagels in Israel.”

*

SHRINKS

**************************

I am told I hate myself. If I do, it may be because I can't imagine anything more repulsive than being infatuated with oneself.

*

Everything I say about Armenians has been said before, and if not said, felt.

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May 20, 2010

***************************************************

ON LEVANTINE CUNNING

***************************************

After informing me that translating Zarian is a waste of time because he was a loud-mouth nonentity, a third-rate vodanavorji and a fourth-rate intellect went to suggest that I translate his poetry instead, and he made it sound as if translating him were a rare honor he was bestowing on me in an unprecedented burst of generosity for which I should be eternally grateful to him.

*

We are told God created men in His own image. Good men, maybe. As for bad men: I like to believe they were created by the Devil. To say otherwise would be to blaspheme.

*

Every policy has a stated as well as a hidden motive. Two cases in point:

Speaking about Canadian multiculturalism, I once heard a pundit on the radio define it as, “Let them dance.”

Our Turcocentrism may also be summed up thus: “If they think about Turks and massacres all the time, they will have little time to think about our shenanigans.”

*

We don't understand everything. Therefore there must be Someone who does. What could be more unbearable than a mystery without a solution? God must exist!

*

We see the Genocide as a tragedy; but it is also a defeat and a victory -- a defeat for us, and a victory for the Turks not only over Greeks, Kurds, and Armenians, but also Russia, the Great Powers of the West, and their Allies.

*

H.G. Wells: "The Athenian democracy suffered much from that narrowness of patriotism which is the ruin of all nations."

*

It is a well-known fact that in America when the cavalry won it was a victory, but when the Indians won it was a massacre.

*

It has been said that nothing divides the Arab nations more than talk of Arab unity. Something similar could be said about us. Because I have been critical of our dividers, I too have been accused of being one.

#

May 21, 2010

***************************************************

NOTES AND COMMENTS

***************************************

At one time or another all nations have conducted wars of conquest. Why is it that when it comes to Jews, this is seen as a crime against humanity?

*

Judging by the number of times I have been called a fool by fools, I am not the only one who thinks Armenians are not as smart as they think they are.

*

There is a natural tendency in all fools to conspire with other fools and call themselves smart.

*

No book can be as unreadable as an established masterpiece.

*

About Americans and genocide recognition: it would be useful to remind ourselves once in a while that what we are dealing with here are men who at one time or another in the past, and to some extent even today, have justified such aberrations as slavery, racism, revolution, wars of conquest (including civil war), and the massacre of civilians.

*

And speaking of Indians: nowadays, even they speak with a forked tongue.

*

When you don't know, you have no choice but to trust the judgment of those who pretend to know.

*

There is no accounting for tastes. Some scholars are Turcophiles, some are Armenophiles, some women fall in love with serial killers.

*

Yugoslav proverb: "Man is harder than rock and more fragile than eggs." If we view Turks as hard as rocks and ourselves as fragile as eggs, it may be because, by uniting them, their leaders made them stronger; and by dividing us, our leaders made us weaker and more vulnerable. If you think I am the first to say this, read Yeghishé (410-470 AD): "If a nation is ruled by two kings, both the kings and their subjects will perish."

*

To ignore our prophets is bad enough; to cover up their prophecies is to pretend that history fell on us without warning, like a thief in the night.

#

May 22, 2010

***************************************************

FROM MY NOTEBOOKS

***************************************

What could be more incomprehensible than someone else's grief?

*

When popes, imams, rabbis, and gurus pretend to have a monopoly on truth, they lie. Our “betters” are liars.

*

Hegel: “Truth lives only in the conquest of error.”

*

Kierkegaard: “You will never be anything so long as you have money.”

*

To those who say, “knowledge is power,” Socrates says “we know nothing.”

*

Heidegger: “The greater the work accomplished the richer the unthought-of element in that work.”

Or, the more questions an answer raises, the closer to the truth it takes us.

*

John Ruskin: “When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.”

*

I don't write against anyone, not even Turks. I write against the Turk in me.

*

Because we are experiencing a slow-motion and self-inflicted white massacre, we pretend it is not taking place.

*

Erich Fromm: "Understanding a person does not mean condoning; it only means that one does not accuse him as if one were God or a judge placed above him."

*

True knowledge contains doubts, false knowledge only certainties.

*

When it comes to political awareness, we are an underdeveloped people no better than Zulus and Ugandans.

#

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May 23, 2010

***************************************************

REFLECTIONS

***************************************

One way to explain our misfortunes is to say that we are a nation of dupes at the mercy of windbags. Naregatsi, a harmless, solitary monk, accusing himself of all kinds of unspeakable aberrations; and Zarian in his youth pretending to believe Armenia was the messiah of nations.

*

For many years I couldn't tell the difference between truth and propaganda. It took me not just years but decades to see that to be a man with “leadership qualities” means first and foremost to be an accomplished deceiver.

*

Judging by the number of catastrophes mankind confronts today – from religious wars to global warming and overpopulation – we may know more but we understand less. Perhaps the price of greater knowledge is a diminished understanding. Speaking for myself: whenever I thought I knew better I committed a catastrophic blunder.

*

Men have been talking about women since the beginning of time and they still can't figure them out. What does that tell you about the state of human knowledge and understanding?

*

Shaw said, “All professions are conspiracies against the laity.” When Americans say “What's your racket?” they mean the same thing. I like the American version better if only because it's shorter.

*

Censorship reduces men to sheep at the mercy of wolves who pretend to be sheepdogs.

*

I wonder if I will live long enough to read an Armenian weekly in which Turks are not mentioned.

*

Some Turks are so narrow-minded and fanatical that they believe all infidels will burn in hell. They have their counterparts among Armenians.

#

May 24, 2010

***************************************************

LOUIS XIV SPEAKS

***************************************

“Ah, if I were not king, I should lose my temper.”

*

“Has God forgotten what I have done for him?”

*

“I very nearly had to wait.”

*

“Every time I fill a vacant office I make ten malcontents and one ingrate.”

*

EDWARD GIBBON (1737-1794), English historian:

**************************************************************

"I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect."

*

ARAB PROVERB

******************************************************

"The ass went seeking for horns and lost his ears."

*

KURDISH PROVERB

****************************************

"Those who do not go to war roar like lions."

*

A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART

********************************************

Thomas Bernhard was an Austrian writer who hated his fellow Austrians with a passion. No other writer has been as relentless as he in his excoriation of his fellow countrymen. Our Raffi too was very critical of Armenians but in his fiction he also created a good number of heroes and noble specimens of humanity. Baronian, Odian, and Massikian couched their attacks in humor and satire. Zarian's trajectory from great expectations to despair and disgust was gradual and he was careful to confide his denunciations in his correspondence with friends, diaries and notebooks that were published only posthumously. Thomas Bernhard's hatred seems to have been born in his cradle and continued all the way to his grave at the age of 58. But since he was widely translated and admired throughout the world, the Austrians had little choice but to award him a prestigious literary prize in the hope of that flattery may mollify him. It had the opposite effect. In his acceptance speech Bernhard delivered such a scathing attack on Austrian double-talk, mediocrity, intolerance, and fascism that the Austrian Minister of Culture and half of the audience walked out on him. I dare you not to love and admire such a man!

#

THREE POEMS

*****************************************

BY NOUSHIG MIKAELYAN

****************************

translated by a. baliozian

***********************************

1.

May you laugh

as much as I have wept.

*

Do you think

you can laugh that much?

#

2.

On a dead tree

There was a single branch in bloom

*

They cut off that branch.

#

3.

“WE LOVE EACH OTHER,”

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY WE DO

************************************************

We love each other

But you don't trust me

Neither do I trust you.

You think

If I come to you

I will leave you

And I think

if you come to me

You will leave me.

You there

Me here

Afraid of losing each other

We go on living

and it's been centuries

since we last met.

#

May 25, 2010

***************************************************

READING PROUST

***************************************

“But to wander thus among the woods of Roussainville without a peasant girl to embrace was to see the woods and yet know nothing of their secret treasure, their deep hidden beauty.”

I cannot help wondering, why is it that it took world literature three thousand years to produce such a sentence.

*

“Others are often better informed about our life than we think.”

*

“The pleasure an artist gives is to make us know an additional universe.”

*

“The dispelling of an error gives us an additional sense.”

*

READING BETRAND RUSSELL

********************************************

On Lytton Strachey's EMINENT VICTORIANS:

“I read it again to myself in prison. It caused me to laugh so loud that the officer came round to my cell, saying I must remember that prison is a place of punishment.”

*

"Often and often, a marriage hardly differs from prostitution, except being harder to escape from.”

*

On speechifiers: “The human race has not hitherto discovered any method of eradicating moral defects; preaching and exhortation only add hypocrisy to the previous list of vices.”

*

On envy: “Instead of deriving pleasure from what he has, the envious person derives pain from what others have.”

*

FROM MY NOTBOOKS

*******************************************

Bad news for our Turcocentric ghazetajis: as the number of tragedies around the world goes up, the magnitude of our own goes down. This phenomenon is also known as "compassion fatigue." As a result, the more we talk about our tragedy, the more sympathizers we lose. I suggest therefore, "Less is more."

*

Our Turcocentric ghazetajis remind me of the survivors of another holocaust in the Old Testament who looked back and turned into pillars of salt.

*

It is not easy educating those who are infatuated with their own ignorance.

*

I have written over a thousand commentaries and letters and I am proud to announce none of them ends with Comrade Panchoonie's punch line, "Mi kich pogh oughargetsek" (Send us a little money). I am thus in an excellent position to declare to my readers, "If dissatisfied, your money will be cheerfully refunded."

#

May 26, 2010

***************************************************

READING SARTRE

***************************************

On dissent: “Its purpose is not the enjoyment of the reader, but his torment.”

*

On Freud: “Psychoanalysis has no principles.”

*

REFLECTIONS

****************************

I don't trust a writer with a rich vocabulary. One may get drunk on words as surely as an vodka.

*

No matter how hard I try I cannot believe in something that an important fraction of mankind finds it unbelievable.

Mohammad, the only true prophet of Allah.

Jesus, the only true son of God.

*

If a friend "is a masterpiece of nature" (Emerson), what is an enemy if not a curse from hell?

*

THREE DEFINTITIONS

*****************************************

bipartisan: A resolution or policy agreed on by two opposing parties. Among us, an extremely rare occurrence of an extremely short duration.

*

booboisie: From boob (fool) and bourgeoisie: the dumb middle-classes.

*

bury the hatchet: From an American Indian ceremony symbolizing the end of hostilities. A ceremony that has no place in our culture, and an expression that has no equivalent in our language.

*

CRITICIZING THE CRITIC

**************************************************

There are many ways to belittle a writer's work and to insult a man and I have heard them all. Here are some random samples.

-You are a disgrace to your nation.

-What's your point?

-Was your mother a Turkish Если Вы видите это сообщение, значит кто то пытался Вас оскорбить. Просьба сообщить нам об этом http://forum.hayastan.com/index.php?act=report&t=34878?

-You repeat yourself.

-You are a racist.

-Why don't you say something we don't know?

-A dealer in verbal crapola.

-Gobbledygook.

-You are a denialist.

-Booooooooooooring!

-You are a fool.

-Son of a bitch.

#

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May 27, 2010

***************************************************

ON BLUNDERS,

AMONG OTHER THINGS

******************************************************

The number of blunders I have committed are so many that I could compile an encyclopedia on the subject. It is true that so far I have not started a revolution, declared a war, or ordered a massacre of civilians, but that's because I was never in a position to do so.

*

Several readers have pointed out that my testimony cannot be relied on because as a neglected or ignored writer I am a traumatized witness. I am more than willing to plead guilty as charged. But if these very same readers imply that six centuries of Ottoman oppression followed by massacres and dispersion have not traumatized us, they deceive themselves. Either that or they have been so thoroughly dehumanized that it doesn't even occur to them that they may be in denial.

*

From zero to hero is a possibility; from zero to zero is a probability.

*

Is it conceivable that the only thing we have learned from our Ottoman and Bolshevik experiences is intolerance?

*

There is more than one way to assert one's superior brand of patriotism, but going down into the gutter is not one of them.

*

We analyze Turks as if our aim in life were to improve them, and we avoid analyzing ourselves on the grounds that one should not fix what ain't broken. Why else would our dime-a-dozen Turcocentric ghazetajis spend more time exposing foreign misconduct and ignoring our own?

*

If you lie down with a dog you may get up with fleas, it is said. Likewise, if you lie down with an Armenian you may get up with a Turk.

#

May 28, 2010

***************************************************

ART FOR ART'S SAKE

******************************************************

Since far better men than myself have written about our problems without any tangible results, what I write should be classified under art for art's sake, or entertainment, or even a waste of time.

*

To those who say, “Tell us something we don't know,” I say: “Nothing that is true is ever new” (Shaw). And to those who say, “You don't know how to write,” I say: “That may or may not be true because more often than not what I do is paraphrase or quote readers like you or better men than myself.”

*

It's astonishing how many decent people allow their paycheck to dictate their code of ethics and to ignore the fact that "grub first then ethics" is no ethics.

*

Sometimes a man reveals himself less by what he says and more by what he does not say.

*

Man is unpredictable even to himself.

*

Intellectuals may be divided into two categories: defenders of the status quo (or, in the words of a French philosopher, "guard dogs") and dissidents. It goes without saying that the guard dogs enjoy the full support of those in power, and the dissidents are ostracized, alienated, and, whenever possible, silenced, starved, poisoned, or shot.

*

Was Naregatsi a guard dog or a dissident? Hard to say. He was quintessentially non-political. He concentrated on himself as a sinner. He blamed no one but his own evil inclinations. If he were a contemporary and if he took it upon himself to write about our genocide, my guess is he wouldn't even mention the Turks. He would say what a born-again, Bible-thumping, fundamentalist Armenian friend of mine in his 80s once said to me: "Armenians were massacred because they were evil and they deserved to be punished by God."

To which I can only say: “What about the perpetrators? Where they morally superior? If not, why were they not punished?”

But since theologians have an answer for everything, they would say, “God's ways are not our ways.”

#

May 29, 2010

***************************************************

READING SPENGLER AND TOYNBEE

******************************************************

We have many poets but not a single philosopher.

As a result, we may know how we feel but we don't know why.

We have many historians but not a single meta-historian or philosopher of history. As a result, we may know what happened but we don't know what were the forces that brought about the catastrophe.

Which may also explain why successive American administrations, after promising to recognize our genocide, refuse to do so.

*

We know we are divided but we don't know why because the reasons may be buried in our subconscious.

Listen to two metahistorians and their tentative explanations:

*

Oswald Spengler: “Real historical vision belongs to the domain of significances in which the crucial words are not 'correct' and 'erroneous' but 'deep' and 'shallow.'”

*

“Vision is to be carefully distinguished from seeing.”

*

“All genuine historical work is philosophy, unless it is mere ant-industry.”

*

Arnold Toynbee: “The penalty that conflicting wills bring upon themselves by frustrating one another is thus not merely their own dethronement; it is the re-enthronement of the Subconscious Psyche.”

In other words, when unreason (or the subconscious) replaces reason, the consequences can be not only catastrophic but also incomprehensible. It follows, our so-called survival may not be what we think it is but the death of a thousand cuts, all of them self-inflicted.

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May 30, 2010

***************************************************

J.S. BACH

******************************************************

Books on Bach?

Forget it. Too technical and jargon ridden. Too cold and scholarly to be of any interest to the layman.

Two possible exceptions:

EVENINGS IN THE PALACE OF REASON: BACH MEETS FREDERICK THE GREAT IN THE AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT by James R. Gaines (New York, 2005), and

THE CELLO SUITES: J.S. BACH, PABLO CASALS AND THE SEARCH FOR A BAROQUE MASTERPIECE by Eric Siblin (Toronto, 2009).

Both books are unusual in that they read like thrillers. Entertaining as well informative and scholarly.

*

Vahe Berberian tells me the subtitle of the second book is misleading because the Cello Suites were never lost. On the contrary, they were widely distributed and studied by cellists and musical scholars. What Casals did was to introduce them to the concert repertoire.

*

Speaking of Casals and music: One of the most brilliant, insightful, and readable books I have read on many aspects of music composition, interpretation, and appreciation is CONVERSATIONS WITH CASALS by J.M. Corredor (London, 1956).

*

To be noted: In the bibliography of Siblin's book I run into the following item: BAROQUE PIETY: RELIGION, SOCIETY, AND MUSIC IN LEIPZIG, 1650-1750 (Burlington, VT, 2007) by Tanya Kevorkian. Which reminds me of our family doctor's observation that no matter where you go, you will invariably run into an Armenian.

*

Also to be noted: Three of the greatest Bach interpreters of our times, if not of all times -- Landowska, Casals, and Gould -- were not German, but Polish, Spanish, and Canadian respectively.

*

Grieg on Casals: “This man does not perform, he resurrects.”

#

May 31, 2010

***************************************************

ON FAITH

******************************************************

Faith proves nothing except the absurdity of belief systems – all ten thousand of them.

*

A MAN OF FAITH SPEAKS

*********************************************

In a recent interview published in a learned French periodical, a Muslim scholar proves to his complete satisfaction that Islam is a better religion than Christianity, and the only reason Christians outnumber Muslims is that Christianity is six centuries older. In the next six centuries, he goes on, Islam will surpass all other organized religions in popularity. That is one of the central problems with all men of faith: they think they know better and they are closer to God even when they behave like swine. And you may have noticed by now that it is not the good and the honest who assert moral superiority but charlatans and riffraff. "If I am no good," they seem to be saying, "the least I can do is pretend to be better even if it means speaking like an idiot."

*

CHINESE PROVERBS

*******************************

“A maker of idols is never an idolater.”

*

“Behind an able man there are always other able men.”

*

DANISH PROVERB

*****************************

“Unanimity is the best fortress.”

*

ON CENSORSHIP

**********************

Where there is censorship there will be fear: fear of knowledge; fear of objective judgment; fear of honesty; fear of excellence and originality.

Where there is fear there will be cowardice.

*

A CONFESSION

************************************

When writing against barbarians one should wield a civil pen.

May I confess that I have not always been successful in that endeavor perhaps because some barbarians tend to confuse civility with weakness.

#

June 1, 2010

***************************************************

MEN AND ROBOTS

********************************

One of the worst blunders one can commit is to believe what one is told at a time when one is not old or mature enough to think for oneself, on the grounds that the men at the top are fundamentally decent men who know better and should be trusted.

Whereas the truth is, “politics offers a larger field of observation than any clinic for mental illness” (Antonina Vallentin).

Or, in the words of Paul Valery: “...the work leads back, not to a man, but to a mask, and from a mask to the machine.”

By “machine” Valery here means impersonal factors that are dictated by a belief system that has degenerated to routine and ritual.

*

READING VOLTAIRE

*******************************

On the origin of religion: “From the meeting of the earliest scoundrel with the very first fool.”

*

“Since the whole affair had become one of religion, the vanquished were of course exterminated.”

*

ON ARMENIAN POLITICS

****************************************

If and when the multiplication table becomes a political issue, we will disagree on it too!

*

To speak of patriotism and to speak the truth are not always synonymous. On the contrary. One could even say that the greatest enemy of patriotism is not treason but objectivity.

*

We place too much emphasis on mental or intellectual IQs and completely ignore moral IQs. And yet, if you think about it, most of our problems are created by individuals with higher than normal IQs but non-existent or negative moral IQs -- or moral morons.

*

If you mention bloodsuckers in the presence of bloodsuckers, you can be sure of one thing: they will accuse you of anti-Armenianism.

#

June 2, 2010

***************************************************

SIMONE WEIL

********************************

“It is impossible to forgive whoever has done us harm if that harm has lowered us. We have to think that it has not lowered us but revealed our true level.”

Which is why those I criticize will never forgive me – and I don't expect them to.

*

OSCAR WILDE

***************************

“Women represent the triumph of matter over mind.”

The same could be said of men.

*

The ease with which we make mistakes; and even more astonishing: the ease with which we are successful in convincing ourselves we are doing the right.

Homo sapiens?

Seldom.

Homo ignoramus?

Always!

*

A.N. WHITEHEAD

*********************************

“Our reasoning grasps at straws for premises and floats on gossamers for deductions.”

*

COMMENTS

****************************

To know better is not the same as to know, or for that matter, to be closer to the truth.

*

Our tragedy: those who pretend to know lead those who pretend to understand.

Or, the unthinking leads the thoughtless.

This is no secret. It was known and stated thousands of years ago:

“When the blind lead the blind...”

*

Whenever I see the photo of an Armenian writer in the company of a boss or bishop, I can’t help thinking, “There goes the neighborhood.”

*

If you think A and I think C, the truth may not be in the neighborhood of B but somewhere beyond Z.

*

You say you are free but all I see when I look at you is the invisible ring in your nose and the harness on your back.

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June 3, 2010

***************************************************

DIARY

************************

Finished reading Siblin's book on the Bach Cello Suites and Casals.

A remarkable achievement by a remarkable writer.

To write the book, Siblin not only read everything on the subject, he also travelled all over the world, attended lectures and symposia, visited museums and libraries housing Bach manuscripts, interviewed cellists, Bach expert, and Casals biographers, joined a Bach choir and learned to sing a cantata in German, took lessons by a cellist, and studied countless CDs. A veritable Odyssey by a phenomenally brilliant researcher. Reminds me of the dictum that if you want to achieve anything in life you must be a fanatic.

While reading his many footnotes and divagations, I was reminded of Nabokov's translation of Pushkin.

*

READING ZARIAN'S NOTEBOOKS

****************************************

“I have a deep antipathy for Kafka whom I have tried but failed to read.”

And yet his (Zarian's) experiences in the Homeland and Diaspora are quintessentially Kafkaesque.

I suspect like all nationalists Zarian was deeply suspicious of Jews.

*

“The majority of men don't think; they prefer to rely on someone else's thoughts. Thinking is a habit they seem to have lost – probably out of fear, in case they get into trouble by thinking the wrong thoughts.”

*

After our Golden Age and Silver Age we must now be at the summit of our Garbage Age – and as Zarian suggests in his TRAVELLER AND HIS ROAD, not even garbage picked up from our own streets.

In the Homeland we are at the mercy of neo-commissars; in the Diaspora, mini-sultans.

*

CHURHCILL TO AN ADMIRAL

**********************************************

“Don’t talk to me about naval tradition! It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash!”

Bravo beh!

#

June 4, 2010

***************************************************

THE PAPACY

************************

I have been reading a book on the Borgias and Renaissance popes, and I can't help wondering why there are still people who take Vatican pronouncements seriously. My only explanation: there is no limit to human ignorance and stupidity.

*

ON FAITH

***********************

Faith is a placebo which, unlike opium, is legal. This is a well-known secret to its administrators but not to its consumers. This may explain why when Mother Teresa lost her faith, she confided only to her confessor.

*

WHY I WRITE

*******************************

When asked why I write, I say: “Writing has become a habit I can't give up.” When told that's not a good enough reason, I have no choice but to agree. On the other hand, if I were to say “I write to save the nation,” I would be accused of megalomania run amok. How dare I think I can succeed where far better men than myself have failed? Not all bad questions have good answers.

*

WHAT HAS MY ARMENIAN IDENTITY

MEANT TO ME

**********************************************************

When I dealt with Armenian publishers, editors, bosses, bishops, benefactors and their assorted hirelings and flunkies, I became an alcoholic, developed an ulcer, and was hospitalized on several occasions. Now that I keep my distance, I am both healthier and happier. But even more important, I have a more objective view of myself and my fellow men. Also, I can afford the luxury of relying on my own judgment, which fallible as it probably is, it is my own and not someone else's, who in addition to being a fool may also be a crook, a bloodsucker, and a gravedigger.

#

June 5, 2010

***************************************************

BACK TO BACH

**************************************

He composed, he said, “for the greater glory of God and the instruction of his fellow men.” But he was better known as an organist rather than as a composer. Now completely forgotten composers were far better known and compensated than he was. Even his own sons, themselves professional musicians of some renown, looked down on his unfashionable style. Ladies and gentlemen of the court (on whom composers were financially dependent) demanded music that was more easily understood and played, like Haydn and Mozart. As a result, a great many of his works were buried, forgotten, and lost. And when a hundred years after his death, some of his masterpieces were resurrected by among others Mendelssohn, celebrated poets and philosophers like Heine and Hegel failed to appreciate them. I am now told even rock musicians borrow and steal from Bach. Entire books have been written about such marginal works as THE MUSICAL OFFERING and the CELLO SUITES.

*

SARTRE ON BACH

***************************

“He taught how to find originality within an established discipline; actually – how to live.”

*

SCHWEITZER ON BACH

********************************

“In his strict polyphony a volcanic emotion and thought were embedded.”

*

STEVEN ISSERLIS

****************************

I have been listening to his rendition of the CELLO SUITES. Too “correct” and mechanical to be of any interest. I much prefer the “perpetual rubato” of Casals which gives the Suites the natural flow of human speech thus making them more human and accessible.

*

TWO THINGS TO AVOID

****************************************

Clichés – unless in an ironic context.

Self-assessments – unless negative.

*

A QUESTION OF IDENTITY

*****************************************

I question the Armenian identity of readers whose every word drips with the concentrated venom of seven Turkish vipers.

*

MONTHERLANT

******************************

“It is important for a man, at least once in his life, to have believed he is about to die: parenthetically, this is one of the gifts war gives to man.”

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June 6, 2010

***************************************************

AN ANGRY OBJECTION

**************************************

A reader writes:

“When you speak of Ottomanism and Sovietism – are you sure you are not projecting your own problems on the rest of us? I too was born and raised in an Armenian family and I feel neither Ottomanized nor Sovietized.”

There may be two explanations for that:

(one) you are either an exception to the rule – and when I write I speak of rules not of exceptions, and (two) you are in denial. Though your inability to entertain ideas that are not your own may well be seen as a symptom of Ottomano-Sovietism.

*

My function as a writer is to make the unconscious conscious; or to light a candle, not to convince you to like what you see. I can give you an explanation. What I cannot give you is understanding.

*

I define Ottomanism and Sovietism as two belief systems that legitimize intolerance and the right to silence those who do not believe in their lies and fallacies. In that sense, both the Sultan and Stalin are not dead; they are very much alive in all of us as assumptions that intolerance is not a vice but one of the cardinal virtues.

*

Ottomanism and Sovietism are not the only two aberrations to which we subscribe and from which we suffer. Even more dangerous and far more insidious is Levantinism – the notion that Capital and God are one, that the profit motive is a respectable one, and that benefactors and their hirelings are not empty suits but royalties.

*

Dzour nesdink shidag khosink.

Very much like the Yanks in the McCarthy era, we too have a HUAC or a House Un-Armenian Activities Committee, whose members belong to a church, political party, or philanthropic organization, and sometimes all three at once, who believe it is their patriotic duty to silence those who, by disagreeing with their dogmas, plot the destruction of the land.

*

In a French magazine I read the following headline about a grizzly murder: “He was the most subservient husband but one day he beheaded her.”

We too were the most loyal, that is to say, subservient subjects of the Empire...But to paraphrase an old Chinese proverb: “No honeymoon under heaven is endless.” To quote another familiar French saying: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

The Sultan and Stalin are dead. Long live our mini-sultans and neo-commissars!

*

As for the charge that I have en eye only for the negative: that's like saying to an oncologist, “You have an eye only for tumors.”

#

June 7, 2010

***************************************************

QUOTATIONS

**************************************

Since I spend most of my time reading, the most enjoyable moments in my daily existence are quotable lines.

*

BALZAC

**********************

“The fate of the house hangs on the wedding night.”

*

“Nature makes only dull animals; we owe the fool to society.”

*

“Love and hatred are feelings that feed on themselves, but of the two, hatred has a longer lifespan.”

*

KURT VONNEGUT

*******************************

“Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.”

*

DEFINITIONS FROM

A DICTIONARY OF PHILOSOPHY

********************************************

“Generally speaking megalomania is a reaction to failure. The megalomaniac represents himself as he would like to be but as he is not. Megalomania may also be a symptom of the decline of one’s critical faculties.”

*

On dogmatism:

“It stands in direct contradiction to criticism, skepticism, empiricism, and realism.

It fosters intolerance and fanaticism.”

*

ALEXANDER SOLZHENITSYN

***************************************************

“Who is a Zek’s [an inmate of the Gulag]] worst enemy? Another Zek.”

Zeks too, I thought.

*

EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY

**********************************************

“And he whose soul is flat – the sky

Will cave in on him by and by.”

*

MARILYN MONROE

**********************************************

"Khruschev looked at me the way a man looks on a woman."

#

June 8, 2010

***************************************************

SUMMING UP

**************************************

Anything that is worth saying is worth repeating.

*

Don't believe everything you are told or everything you read, including what follows. Don't rely on someone else's brain if it means not using your own.

*

Between a lie that flatters and a truth that insults, always choose the insult. You may be wrong in doing so but never as consistently wrong as when you choose flattery.

*

Propaganda works because it flatters by emphasizing the positive. Literature doesn't because it exposes ignorance or emphasizes the negative in those who parade as leaders of men and their dupes.

*

At all times and everywhere, ignorance exceeds knowledge even in the wisest of men. We owe wars that are lost and revolutions that fail to men who refused to acknowledge his simple fact.

*

Another instance of ignorance exceeding knowledge, and arrogance exceeding objective assessment is writers who write for readers who know better.

*

I don't make policy. You have nothing to fear from me. I only expose contradictions. If you cannot see the contradiction, don't blame me. I cannot make the blind see, and no one can be as blind as the man who refuses to see.

*

I suspect all talk of Armenian intelligence and cunning. There is an old Italian saying: “It takes seven Genoese [the smartest Italians] to fool a Jew, and seven Jews to fool an Armenian.” I now see this saying as a warning to all those – including Armenians – who dare to deal with Armenians.

“After shaking hands with an Armenian, count your fingers.”

“After kissing an Armenian, count your teeth.”

If we were half as smart as we like to think we are, our history would not be the disaster area that it is.

*

We have been victimized, true. But to suggest we had no say in shaping our destiny as a nation is a lie created by pathological liars, that is to say, propagandists.

*

Understanding reality is a journey without end.

We can only take small steps in the direction of the truth.

The man who is searching is closer to the truth than the man who says he has found it.

No one can be as brainless as he who claims to have all the answers.

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June 9, 2010

***************************************************

THE KEY

**************************************

The poor are told the rich will go to hell. This works to the advantage of the rich who are thus left alone to exploit the poor and to enjoy their wealth in peace.

*

Where there is power there will also be tyranny, injustice, and oppression.

*

If you were to add up oppressed or exploited minorities in “the land of the brave and the free,” or anywhere else for that matter, you will end up with a majority. But this majority is powerless to act because it is divided.

*

Dominant minorities are experts in adopting and implementing what were known even to the Romans as “divide and rule” policies. Hence the phenomenon of Armenians whose enemy number one is neither the Turk nor the Russian but their fellow Armenians.

*

What divides us are not truths voiced by honest men, but lies conceived and repeated by charlatans.

The question we must ask at this point is: Do our dividers know what they are doing?

My guess is, the men at the very top do, but their flunkies may not.

The men at the very top may not even be Armenian.

*

Khorenatsi tells us the Mamigonians were of Chinese descent. The Bagratunis identified themselves as Jews. One of our elder statesmen once informed me that some of our community leaders today are not of Armenian but of Turkish descent. “They may speak Armenian fluently, they may know all there is to know about us, but they are not Armenians.”

But i suggest an Armenian does not have to be a Turk to undermine the integrity of the nation. Greed for power (which is also universal) will render him blind – and we all know what happens when the blind lead the blind...

This indeed is the key to understanding our history.

*

A so-called Armenian with so-called leadership qualities is first and foremost a man who is committed to the proposition that greed for power is thicker than loyalty to the tribe or any other principle of honesty, compassion, justice, and fair play. He will preach patriotism and practice treason without batting an eye. And if things go wrong he will come up with a thousand reasons why he should not be held accountable. And he will be believed, in the same way that most honest Christians believe the rich will go to hell and “the meek shall inherit the earth.”

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June 10, 2010

***************************************************

AN UNDIPLOMATIC EXCHANGE

***********************************

To emphasize his humble origins, Nixon once said to Khrushchev that his father had a grocery store in which he and his brothers had worked. Khrushchev's comment: “All shopkeepers are thieves.”

For more hilarious exchanges, see K BLOWS TOP: A COLD WAR COMIC INTERLUDE STARRING NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV, AMERICA'S MOST UNLIKELY TOURIST by Peter Carlson (New York, 2009).

*

ANOTHER FIRST

******************************

Yesterday on the evening news on TV we were informed that a 5000-year old shoe had been discovered in Armenia. The leather shoe looked like a comfortable moccasin in excellent condition.

*

FREUD ON SHAKESPEARE

************************************

Freud thought Shakespeare was French and his real name was Jacques Pierre. And I think Cyrano de Bergerac was Armenian and his real name was Giragos. But that's only one proof of his Armenian identity, the other being the length of his nose.

*

DEFINITION (I)

*************************************

I have read several definition of courage. To insult someone anonymously and from a safe distance is not one of them.

*

DEFINITION (II)

***************************

Cicero defined freedom as “participation in power.” As far as I know, no one has ever defined freedom as saying “Yes, sir!” to idiots.

*

ON ISLAM

****************************

John Selden (1650): “The Turks tell their People of a Heaven where there is a sensible Pleasure, but of a Hell where they shall suffer they don’t know what. The Christians quite invert this order; they tell us of a Hell where we shall feel sensible Pain, but of a Heaven where we shall enjoy we can’t tell what.”

*

DEFINITION (III)

*****************************

My definition of bliss: The awareness that one is no longer dependent on the charity of swine and on the approval of morons.

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June 11, 2010

***************************************************

KHRUSHCHEV AND THE KGB

***********************************

After he was ousted from office and acquired the status of a non-person, Khrushchev was ordered by the KGB not to write his memoir. “I refuse to obey you,” he told them. The order was unconstitutional, he said; so were the bugs placed in his home. “You stuck listening devices all over the dacha,” he told them, “even in the bathroom. You spend the people's money to eavesdrop on my farts.”

Eventually his memoir was smuggled to the West by his son. Translated and published in many countries, it became a best-seller. His son is now an American citizen.

*

READING CHAMFORT

*******************************************

Nicolas de Chamfort (1740-1794), French writer who was arrested under the Revolution and committed suicide. He is the author of THOUGHTS, MAXIMS, AND ANECDOTES, published posthumously.

*

“One is happier when one is alone because in solitude one thinks of things, but in the company of others one is forced to think of men.”

*

“Women are made to deal with our weaknesses and our foolishness, not with our reason. There exists between them and men epidermic sympathies but very few of intellect, soul, and character.”

*

“There are well-dressed foolish ideas just as there are well-dressed fools.”

*

“Nature never said 'Be thou not poor,' much less 'Be thou rich'; but she cries, 'Be thou independent!'”

*

ON MY CRITICS

**********************************

When my critics (if you will forgive the overstatement) hurl insults at me (and anonymous insults at that) it means only one thing: they have run out of arguments, assuming of course they had them to begin with -- and that's assuming a great deal.

To insult is not to criticize. And to insult anonymously is to compound stupidity with cowardice. Why would anyone be afraid of a minor scribbler who writes today and will be forgotten tomorrow? And to think that these are the offspring of men who a hundred years ago challenged the might of an empire.

A far better man than myself once said: “Once upon a time we shed our blood for freedom. We are now afraid of free speech."

I repeat: why would anyone be afraid of someone like me whose most formidable weapon is his common sense – which, it has been said, is the least common of all faculties.

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June 12, 2010

***************************************************

ON CERTAINTIES

*********************************************

The closer I get to a certainty

the more I am haunted by its contradiction.

*

I have been wrong so often that

I never know when I am right – if I am ever right.

*

I am here to assert not certainties

but to expose lies.

*

God may know

but those who speak in His name do not.

It would be more accurate to say,

it's because they don't know

that they feel the need to speak in His name.

*

There is a type of patriotism

that is reserved only for those who agree with us.

I suggest that's less patriotism and more dogmatism.

Whenever our enemies want to divide us

they rely on our dogmatism

and they are never disappointed.

*

Those who understand the past

have a better chance to predict the future.

A prophet is first and foremost a historian.

*

Both Ottomanism and Sovietism are based on the proposition

that the man at the top is always right

and to even suggest he may be wrong is treason.

*

At the root of all wars and massacres

there stands a man who says

“We are right and they are wrong.”

All crimes against humanity are consequences of that lie.

*

To adopt a propaganda line and to be wrong

might as well be synonymous.

*

I don't ask my readers to believe in what I say.

All I ask is that they learn to think for themselves – but perhaps

that's asking too much.

*

The Tree in the Garden was not of Knowledge but of Ignorance.

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June 13, 2010

***************************************************

CONFESSIONS OF A MEGALOMANIAC

*********************************************

My megalomania knows no bounds. I remember instances in my life when I thought my arguments were so irrefutable that they had a good chance to change the mind of an Armenian ignoramus. I keep forgetting that dupes of propaganda are never wrong.

*

Propaganda is like an old pair of shoes – after you put them, you forget about them. By contrast, a new idea is like a new pair of shoes that pinch.

*

Self-interest is the most powerful argument. All Turks have to do to convince Americans is to say that Armenians in the Ottoman Empire were like Indians on the American continent.

Victimizers speak the same language regardless of nationality.

*

People can be as smart as dogs when it comes to smelling fear.

*

I was brought up to respect authority. I now think there is hardly any difference between respect for authority and fear of authority. A man of authority knows that anyone who respects him is also intimidated by him.

*

I have yet to meet a man of authority who was not a contemptible jerk. I assume there are exceptions. But then, I write about rules not exceptions.

*

On more than one occasion I have been taken to task (a euphemism for I have been verbally abused) for not being as brilliant as Hagop Baronian. If that were a crime, I deserve to be hanged.

*

Giambattista Vico: “Crowded city life produces men who are unbelievers, who regard money as the measure of all things, and who lack moral qualities, particularly modesty…. Emancipated from ethics generally, they live by mutual spying and deceit.”

*

If you can’t contradict the idea, insult the man.

*

If you play it safe and write about birds serenading the moon or the eternal snows of Mt. Ararat, be prepared to be called a vodanavorji and ignored.

If, on the other hand, you decide to live dangerously and analyze our present situation with some degree of objectivity, be prepared to be reviled by readers who cannot chew gum and fart at the same time.

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June 14, 2010

***************************************************

CONTEMPLATION VERSUS ACTION

*********************************************

Christ and Renaissance popes,

Luther and televangelists,

Marx and Stalin:

men of contemplation and men of action are different

to the point of being contradictions.

What one builds the other destroys.

Where one enhances our understanding,

the other bullies and moronizes.

*

You have political ambitions?

Teach yourself how to lie and how to believe in your own lies.

Be a sincere hypocrite.

Speak honestly with a forked tongue.

*

Men of power are ruthless

because where there is power

there will be those who will want to take it away from you.

Men of power know this

because they suffer from the same disease – greed for power.

*

We call our major defeats tragedies

and our minor victories triumphs.

*

Intolerance of dissent is a confession of fear –

fear of ideas, fear of words,

and fear of being unmasked for what one really is:

a coward and a fool.

Only idiots cannot see this.

Authoritarianism is a conspiracy of fools and dupes.

*

What could be more self-defeating

than an abundance of money and a total absence of ideas?

An abundance of fund-raisers

and a scarcity of intellectuals

is the surest symptom of a morally bankrupt community.

*

There are no final answers.

Neither are there perfect answers.

An idea makes perfect sense

only when its contradiction or antithesis is suppressed,

that is to say, when progress is arrested.

*

Mankind has always been at the mercy of better organized fools.

*

Wars are declared by fools and fought by dupes.

*

The only way to understand our enemies

is by being objective about ourselves.

#

June 15, 2010

***************************************************

DEAD END

*********************************************

When one side says one thing and the other the exact opposite for one hundred years, we have no choice but to conclude either one side or both are obstinate, dogmatic, self-righteous, and intolerant of dissent.

Has anyone ever said we are open-minded, tolerant, willing to engage in dialogue, and eager to develop a consensus by means of compromise?

Has anyone ever said diplomacy is our strong suit?

If Armenian cannot agree with Armenian, can he ever agree with the Turk?

I am not casting aspersions, just asking questions.

*

ARMENIAN ETIQUETTE

*******************************

When you don't understand what you read, call the writer an idiot.

When you disagree with what he writes, call him a traitor.

*

KHRUSHCHEV ON DE GAULLE

**************************************

“Was he smart or stupid? For a while he was considered an idiot and a fascist. But in fact he was a very smart fellow.”

*

KHRUSHCHEV ON MALRAUX

*****************************************

“De Gaulle's Minister of Culture was a well-known writer. I think he had the same last name as that other famous French writer, Moliere.”

Which reminds me of the story that when Malraux was named the winner of the Nobel Prize, Mailer received several congratulatory calls from American friends.

*

REFLECTIONS

*********************************

Some day even the most absurd occurrence may make perfect sense, but by then the perceiver and the occurrence may well be one and the same.

*

About Armenians and Turks: There is probably something true in the saying that if you hate somebody too much it may be because you see yourself in him.

*

When I was young I was unteachable. Hence my intolerance of phony pundits.

There is an old Spanish saying: “Women and horses: let someone else tame them.”

And I say: “A horse’s ass: let a shrew tame him.”

#

June 16, 2010

***************************************************

RANDOM THOUGHTS

*********************************************

“The true source of wisdom,” Socrates tells us,

“is not knowledge but moderation.”

*

I don’t look for enemies;

they find me.

*

Just because a man is not bought and sold

it doesn’t follow he is not a slave.

Likewise, just because we silence critics

it doesn’t follow we are not open to criticism.

*

It was Kant who said that very often

ignorance is nothing but cowardice in the face of knowledge.

*

Self-criticism is not treason.

Silencing criticism is.

*

An insult is as difficult to refute as a massacre,

perhaps because it is verbal massacre.

*

According to Buddha:

“That which is spoken, heard, and understood

are three different things.”

What scathing book reviews Buddha would have written

of the Bible and the Koran!

*

Our history is an apt illustration of Murphy's Law:

“If things can go wrong

they will go wrong at the worst possible time.”

*

The aim of philosophy is to open the mind.

The aim of a belief system is to close it.

*

When I hear the word Islam,

the first four words that come to mind are:

giaour, imam, fatwa, and jihad;

and I loathe these words as much I loathe the words

boss, bishop, benefactor, and commissar.

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