Alanis Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Serega Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 Holly Cow!!! No!!! Is it a joke? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bender B.Rodriguez Posted February 5, 2004 Report Share Posted February 5, 2004 I cow zat kaming! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy-wuzzy Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 vonderful idia. i begin tinking of jon orvel's 1984t. ve shud not stop at tis point! ter is no need of ze "x" and "y" leters -- zey ar obviusli eksesiv. Also ve must get rid of ridikulus maner of speling one sound bai means of tu leters. And vais versa - tu sound in uan leter. Solving problem of pronaunsing "s" laik "z" and "e" laik "i" iz tu bi ze nekst step. For ze konviniens of slavik nations vich ar surli to join ze EU, vi propos tu juz "n"-letter insted of "p" "h" ihsted of "n", "p" ihsted of "r", ahd ze last bpilaht idea iz to juz "w" fop kombihatioh "sh". Vi sihsepeli viw gud lak to ze Uroniah Komisioh. Vi op zat bai zei efopts snelihg vil bikam piali ihtephatsiohal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.