The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c".
Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will
be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards
kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will
make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv
to
steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz
yer,
ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz
fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If
zis
mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!
