Для терпеливых (типа, длинновато)...
1.Taoism: Shit happens.
2.Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
3.Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
4.Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
5.Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
6.Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
7.Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
8.Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible -edit- or allot of innocents -edit-.
9.Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
10.Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
11.Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
12.Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
13.Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you
serve the right wine with it.
14.Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you
serve grape juice with it.
15.Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as
good as shit that happens to another.
16.Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as
shit that happens to another.
17.Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
18.Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless
you are born again. (Amen!)
19.Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's
okay.
20.Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
21.Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
22.Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
23.Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
24.Creationism: God made all shit.
25.Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
26.Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor -
pray!
27.Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
28.Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
29.Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
30.Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
31.Darwinism: This shit was once food.
32.Capitalism: That's MY shit.
33.Communism: It's everybody's shit.
34.Feminism: Men are shit.
35.Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
36.Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
37.Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
38.Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
39.Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
40.Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
41.Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
42.Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
43.Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
44.Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
45.Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
46.Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
47.Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
48.Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your
time to show you some of our shit?
49.Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is
imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
50.Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
51.Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
52.Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
53.Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
54.Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
55.Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
56.Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
57.Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
58.Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
59.Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
60.Atheism: What shit?
61.Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
62.Nihilism: No shit.
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Capitalism: When shit happens, it'll cost you!
Altruism: Let me give you my shit.
Environmentalism: Shit happens, but it's biodegradable.
Evolution: Shit is getting better all the time.
scientology: If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
Dianetics: Even shit can make money.
Guruism: The master's shit does not stink.
Egoism: I AM the shit!
Optimism: That shit won't happen to me.
Paranoia: Shit happens because it's a plot.
Totalitarianism: Shit doesn't happen unless we say so.
Vandalism: I'm gonna wreck this shit!
Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Witchcraft: Mix this shit together and it will happen!
new age: For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
Transexualism: But I'm The Wrong Kind Of Shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Capitalism: Let's package this shit.
Exhibitionism: I Love To Show My Shit
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Voyeurism: I wanna see that shit.
Taliban: Tall buildings are shit.
Science: We must examine this shit.
Science: It must have been a big bang that started this shit.
Stoicism: Shit happens ?... So what?
Evangelism: We got the best shit.
Republicanism: You have to earn your shit.
Hedonism: This shit is fun!
New Age: Before you shit on the grass, ask its permission first.
Kama sutra: F*ck this shit.
